Norfolk zoo only has one animal in it - a dog.
It's a shitzu!
H/T Old Dude
Sunday, 22 March 2009
Well I think it's funny....
Prognosis.....
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
H/T DML
Dads....
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
H/T DML
We The People Stimulus Package........
...this is good.
H/T Bruce
Also How to become a banana republic
The Irish Blacksmith...
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses...
He said no, but he had once told a donkey to f**k off.
H/T Old Dude
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If at first... CHANGE 101.
Does anyone remember the old saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!"
Probably not. Not anymore than anyone remembers Eastern or TWA airlines, or the Studebaker Car Company, or any number of private enterprise entities that have disappeared over the years based on competition in the free market.
Heck, I'd even 'bet' most folks today cannot remember "Bear Stearns" much less articulate why they were allowed to 'fail' as a commercial enterprise, while Vikram Pandit's "Citigroup" was bailed out.
So here is TODAY'S short lesson plan for CHANGE 101 (Obama Administration version):
If your company is a failure, but is in the financial or insurance sector (and $upported the Democrats [read: Obama, Dodd, Fwank, Pelosi, Reid]), the government is waiting to prop you up with unlimited taxpayer money.
If your company is successful. but selling a popular product and creating jobs (including health-care services), the government is going to come down HARD and tax the bejeesus out of you.
H/T Rico
Blogpost of the Day....'I Shoot You Because I Care!'
'Dear Mr Taliban (ACM, AAF, Booger Eater, EOP, Bad Guy or whatever),
Over time I’ve received emails and comments on this blog that I’m insensitive to your culture. Evidently, I should endeavor to be more tolerant and politically correct in my quest to kill you with every means at my disposal.
After much self reflection I’ve seen the error in my ways and thought I’d write you a brief note to apologize for my actions and those of my compatriots in Team Vampire. I now see how my attempts to incinerate, ventilate and generally cause mayhem could possible hurt your feelings and offend your sensibilities. For that I apologize.
First, let me complement you on the bunker complex that we saw the other day. It seemed very nice and looked like you’d chosen wisely on the size. It appears to me that you didn’t overextend yourself financially building it. That’s great! I also hope that you didn’t use a subprime lender or an adjustable rate mortgage. This should alleviate any issues in the future about defaulting; having to walk away from the bunker complex.'
continue reading here
The Internet is like a Penis......
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behaviour. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"
Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop.
Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
H/T DML
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