H/T Old Dude
Sunday, 10 May 2009
HOW TO GET PERMISSION TO PLAY GOLF............
Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:
First Guy:
'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend.. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.'
Second Guy:
'That's nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'
Third Guy:
'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.'
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has Not said a word.
So they ask him, 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?'
Fourth guy:
'I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it went off, I gave the wife a slap on the ass and said: 'Golf course or intercourse?' She said: 'Wear sun-block'
H/T Shelly
Ths Sunday Best.....
The Speaker's scapegoat: Official who signed off MPs' expenses didn't even have accountancy qualification. The Speaker must go.
Dissolve this rotten Parliament before it corrupts public life altogether. Sack the lot and start afresh. Use the military to remove them if necessary.
13 days, 2 hours and 50 minutes ... now that IS a marathon: Soldier who lost use of legs in Iraq finishes London race. A true hero.
Breathtaking account of one of Second World War's most dangerous jobs.... gunner on a Lancaster bomber. Amazing.
Brown the most unpopular PM since polling began - and half want him to quit now. The other 50% want to string him up.
Revealed: The secret report that shows how the Nazis planned a Fourth Reich ...in the EU. The EU isn't much different.
Helmand commanders prepare for a summer of violence as four dead soldiers named. We must stop fighting a 'media friendly' war.
Barack Obama's rich supporters fear his tax plans show he's a class warrior. The penny drops. Bit bloody late now.
Dmitry Medvedev at Moscow missile parade: 'Russia will teach aggressors a lesson'. He knows their is a wimp in the White House. This century is shaping up to be potentially the bloodiest ever. There is trouble brewing all over the shop.
Brown set for election wipeout. Who will put him out of his misery.
Hawaii Lawmakers Pass Bill to Create 'Islam Day'. WTF!!!
Sikh policemen to get bulletproof turbans so they can join firearms units. (H/T Camaron)
the Clarkypoos bit....
Change fast, before we all gag on the fabric of British life.
Citroën C3 Picasso 1.6HDi 110 Exclusive.
and little Jimmy May.....
All things to all men (and women and vicars)
and finally...
Secretary accidentally bites off boss’ penis. (H/T Filippo)
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LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT.......from Rico
Not only is NO ONE listening, but NO ONE in Team Obama cares one bit. Anyone who has not quaffed deeply from the Communist (D) kool aid is obviously (a) a limbic-brained racist neanderthal and not worthy of any respect or consideration, (b) incandescently stoopid and not at all "cool and "progressive", (c) real pathetic losers like those fellows in 1776, and (d) completely lacking that radical chic factor shared by all the smugly superior intellects like Nancy Reid, Harry Pelosi, Bawney Fag...and YES the ObaMarx hisself, our great Fearless Leader and first comrade in the land. (The Chairman, mein ObaMeinFuhrer, etc also suggest themselves as appropriate titles...but I'm sure Fidel, Chavez, Putin, and a slew of other liberators of the downtrodden masses of 'oppressed' can provide any number of touchie-feelie great sounding titles to the pResident who hates his country so very much he is intentionlly destroying it!!!).
THAT IS RIGHT. DESTROYING. INTENTIONALLY. THAT IS THE REAL PLAN. America is so 'mean' [thank you Lady Michele MacBeth ObaMarx for that pithy zinger] and deeply flawed it mustMUSTmust be torn down from within and a new 'paradise for the proletariat' constructed!!!!!
Mr. Obama:
I have had it with you and your administration, sir. Your conduct on your recent trip overseas has convinced me that you are not an adequate representative of the United States of America collectively or of me personally.
You are so obsessed with appeasing the Europeans and the Muslim world that you have abdicated the responsibilities of the President of the United States of America . You are responsible to the citizens of the United States . You are not responsible to the peoples of any other country on earth.
I personally resent that you go around the world apologizing for the United States telling Europeans that we are arrogant and do not care about their status in the world. Sir, what do you think the First World War and the Second World War were all about if not the consideration of the peoples of Europe? Are you brain dead? What do you think the Marshall Plan was all about? Do you not understand or know the history of the 20th century?
Where do you get off telling a Muslim country that the United States does not consider itself a Christian country? Have you not read the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States ? This country was founded on Judeo-Christian ethics and the principles governing this country, at least until you came along, come directly from this heritage. Do you not understand this?
Your bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia is an affront to all Americans. Our President does not bow down to anyone, let alone the king of Saudi Arabia . You dont show Great Britain , our best and one of our oldest allies, the respect they deserve yet you bow down to the king of Saudi Arabia . How dare you, sir! How dare you!
You can't find the time to visit the graves of our greatest generation because you don't want to offend the Germans but make time to visit a mosque in Turkey . You offended our dead and every veteran when you give the Germans more respect than the people who saved the German people from themselves. What's the matter with you?
I am convinced that you and the members of your administration have the historical and intellectual depth of a mud puddle and should be ashamed of yourselves, all of you.
You are so self-righteously offended by the big bankers and the American automobile manufacturers yet do nothing about the real thieves in this situation, Mr. Dodd, Mr. Frank, Franklin Raines, Jamie Gorelic, the Fannie Mae bonuses, and the Freddie Mac bonuses. What do you intend to do about them? Anything? I seriously doubt it.
What about the U.S. House members passing out $9.1 million in bonuses to their staff members on top of the $2.5 million in automatic pay raises that lawmakers gave themselves? I understand the average House aide got a 17% bonus. I took a 5% cut in my pay to save jobs with my employer. You haven't said anything about that. Who authorized that? I surely didn't!
Executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will be receiving $210 million in bonuses over an eighteen-month period, that's $45 million more than the AIG bonuses. In fact, Fannie and Freddie executives have already been awarded $51 million; not a bad take. Who authorized that and why haven't you expressed your outrage at this group who are largely responsible for the economic mess we have right now.
I resent that you take me and my fellow citizens as brain-dead and not caring about what you idiots do. We are watching what you are doing and we are getting increasingly fed up with all of you. I also want you to know that I personally find just about everything you do and say to be offensive to every one of my sensibilities. I promise you that I will work tirelessly to see that you do not get a chance to spend two terms destroying my beautiful country.
Sincerely,
Every real American
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Saturday, 9 May 2009
Airfarce1, Teaparties & Pelosi's dubious memory... with added photoshop fun
Stephen Green & I tackled the airforce1 over NYC debacle on PJTV.
And have a gander at this week's Meet the Blogs.
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