Monday, 11 May 2009
Letter to the 'President'.......
Dear President Obama,
You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.
You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.
You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.
You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.
You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.
You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don’t understand it at its core.
You scare me because you lack humility and ‘class’, always blaming others.
You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.
You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the ‘blame America ‘ crowd and deliver this message abroad.
You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.
You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.
You scare me because you prefer ‘wind mills’ to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.
You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.
You scare me because you have begun to use ‘extortion’ tactics against certain banks and corporations.
You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.
You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.
You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.
You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.
You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O’Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.
You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.
Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.
Lou Pritchett
H/Ts DML & Dick B
News.....
Now it's Tories on the rack over expenses: Cameron says sorry after HIS top team claim thousands in taxpayers' cash. Is there anyone in Parliament who isn't a crook?
MPs' EXPENSES: 'I didn't come into politics not to take what's owed to me' - What the Speaker allegedly told an MP. Throw him in the Thames and let's see if s**t floats.
Say goodbye to the sunny weather... rain and wind are set to batter Britain for most of the week. More of that global warming.
Hundreds of illegal immigrants armed with knives and crowbars swarm round Calais trucks heading for Britain. Time the bloody French did something about this.
General Petraeus lays groundwork for success in Afghanistan. It will become a side show if Pakistan goes tits up.
Father-of-four beaten to death after confronting teenagers outside home. Find them, hang them.
Military training exercises cut by half due to cost-cutting by MoD. Get rid of the MoD and save billions.
Man complains his pizza has no topping - until he realises it is upside down.
Pakistan army ready for house-house combat with Taliban. A bit bloody late.
US denies using white phosphorus in Afghan strikes. Use MOAB instead.
King Abdullah II of Jordan warns world faces war if Middle East peace talks break down. Until Syria and Iran have regime change the threat of war will always exist.
Labour plots to keep MPs’ allowances under wraps in the future. Expect a lot of independent candidates at the next election.
Spanish discontent as soup kitchens spring up. Spain is in real trouble.
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.
Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged … shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
‘Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news.. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.’
‘What’s the bad news?’ asked the hunter.
‘The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.’
‘Well I guess that isn’t too bad,’ the hunter replied. ‘Is your sister a plastic surgeon?’
‘Not exactly.’ answered the doctor. ‘She’s a flute player in the Chicago Symphony. She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.’
H/T DML
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How to Drive in Los Angeles.......
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A, with accent on the second syllable: (el AY)
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. EXCEPTION: Friday's rush hour starts late morning on Thursday.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, match your speed to the highway number. Anything less is considered "wussy."
4. Forget traffic rules you learned elsewhere. LA has its own version. For example, at a four-way stop the car or truck with the loudest muffler goes first; those with the biggest tires go second. EXCEPTION: in Malibu, all SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have right-of-way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. Or you'll be looking down the muzzle of someone's handy highway helper.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous throughout LA and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment leisure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. MapQuest does not work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off- and on-ramps are relocated each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave the m to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you
are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday appointments; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
H/T Shelly
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