H/T DML
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Stuff Women Really Need To Know About Men
Women might be a mystery to men, we all admit that, but, in order for us to get along well, there are a few things that they should know about men too:
1. If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
2. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
* Unless the answer is yes.
* In which case, can he videotape it?
3. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
4. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to our manhood.
5. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
6. It is only common courtesy to leave the toilet seat up when you’re done.
7. If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
8. The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
9. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
10. Don’t hog the covers. Really.
11. If he has to sit through “Legends of the Fall”, you have to sit through “Showgirls”.
12. “Fine.” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
13. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.
14. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.
15. Of course he wants another beer.
16. The guy doesn’t always have to sleep on the wet spot.
17. Dogs good. Cats bad. Grrrrrrr….
18. He does not want to be just friends.
19. Do not question a man’s innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.
20. He was not looking at that other girl.
* Well, okay… maybe a little.
* Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
21. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. a) And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.
22. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
23. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.
24. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.
25. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
26. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.
27. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Did I mention Love it?
28. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
29. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
30. He heard you the first time. Honest.
31. You know, you can ask him out too… Let’s spread the rejection around a little.
32. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.
33. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you’re with.
34. Of course size matters, and boy does he has the grandaddy of them all.
35. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.
36. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the halftime show to act upon that.
H/T DML
Video: The drunk belgian minister
The video of the Minister of Pensions Michel Daerden, a character in the belgian governement, whilst he elaborates about the progress he made, visibly drunk!
H/T Filippo
Monday, 11 January 2010
The grassroots Tea Party event that ain't...
TPM has a good piece on the $550 a head "grassroots" conference in Nashville. Palin and Bachman are speaking, but the grassroots aren't really buying into the whole thing. Palin foolishly is blowing off CPAC for this faux grassroots event. Not exactly sure if it will do her reputation in the grassroots very good. To me the Nashville thing smacks of another attempt by the Republicans to hijack the movement for their own ends. It really worries me for the future of their party that their attempts at doing this are so constantly cack-handed.
QUEEN OF THE TROLLS
What . . . IS . . .
. . . IT ? ? ?
Troll Threat Brief . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .STORMBRINGER
Thought for the Day........
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich ..
H/T Martin
Chump CHANGE...........from Rico
More CHANGE you can 'keep' or 'believe in' it's up to you...until and unless the current regime makes it mandatory!
Yes, more "annuities" talk (as in 401k's-IRA's, Obamunists). Be wary. Be aware!
1. As a rule, the very worst possible time to convert lump-sum savings into a fixed-income annuity* is when interest rates are LOW (like now).
2. The above is very like buying long-ter bonds when interest rates are likely to increase. Your 'fixed' earnings are doubly eroded by inflation.
3. So WHY would the Obaa-Soetero administration 'float' the notion that this is 'somehow' a good idea for Americans?
- Well if they didn't like, respect, or care about Americans it all makes perfect sense!
*Like Social Security, an annuity (like an R-annuity you'll be hearing about soon) guarantees income until your death but reverts back to the government. You do not "own" your money, and neither do your heirs.
- What a clever way to 'shift' ownership of YOUR money into the hands of gooberment!
HEY!!! Look at the grouse!!!
Because your ;oliticians and governent care for you. Yeah. Right.
KEEP the CHANGE!
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