Friday, 26 February 2010
Stock Market Report.......
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cow steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market
H/T DML
Blondes
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Grade 4.
What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
"'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
"Toe goes in first".
H/T Rico
News........
The British PoW who broke into Auschwitz — and survived
"Earl, I'm feelin' a vibration when I accelerate..."
Slain Hamas man used many passports: confidant
Medvedev Objects to 'Endless' NATO Expansion
Yearly increases in defence spending down, despite two full time engagements
Death in the Atlantic: The Last Four Minutes of Air France Flight 447
Spectre of double-dip recession looms over UK
Admitted Attempted Illegal Voter Works for Obama
Time running out for France's faltering bistros
Russia will supply S-300 missiles to Iran
Kermit Tyler, Player of a Fateful, if Minor, Role in Pearl Harbor Attack, Dies at 96
CANADIAN WOMEN REDEEM CANADIAN MANHOOD!
Abu Dhabi ‘Vanity Plate Record Breaker’
Colonel Gaddafi calls for jihad against Switzerland
Breast implants stop bullet
Mugabe to celebrate 86th birthday with televised £325,000 lobster feast
Barack Obama already preparing for next election campaign
Argentina seeks US backing in dispute with Britain over the Falklands
Solar-powered boat prepares to conquer world
The case against college education
Nigel Farage rudest man in Europe
and finally.....
Detroit bans lap dances in strip clubs; let the exodus begin
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