Theo Spark

Monday, 12 January 2009

Blogging Humour: Funny and close to the truth....

H/T DML

Good Reading......

The Biggest Lies About the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. From North Star.

(H/T USA Partisan

How the Dinosaurs became extinct........

H/T DML

Canadian Armour in Afghanistan....

More Here (Pdf)

H/T JM Heinrichs

News.....

Energy-guzzling plasma TVs will be banned in Brussels eco blitz. If you want to save power get rid of Brussels.

Brown in £500m 'golden handcuffs' bid to buy new jobs for people out of work six months. More money that has magically appeared from nowhere.

Dancing girl 'murdered by Taliban after refusing to give up traditional performances despite death threats'. Brave girl murdered by Islamo-scum.

Tesco is feeling the bite of the recession as sales figures reveal small growth margins. People are tired of Tesco's domination. Morrisons are way better.

Israel 'close to destroying military wing of Hamas'. Hamas have 'gone to ground' like the cowards they are.

Britain 'disappears from map of Europe'. Woo hoo.

Prince Harry in hot water over ‘Paki’ remark to cadet. Absolute Bollocks. The assholes in the media have created something out of nothing.

Home for Heroes: Help war veterans abandoned on our streets. This problem has beeen around for years. The MoD & Military must do more to help ex-soldiers when they leave the Army. We as a nation should also put them at the front of any employment queue as they usually are better disciplined, trained and more reliable than 'civilians'.(H/T Liz B)

For Middle-Class Pakistanis, a Gun Is a Must-Have Accessory. Even the Pakis get to defend themselves.

Ford Model T - 100 Years Later

H/T Shelly

Handley Page Victor Dropping Stuff.....

..this if genuine is a rare photo indeed.

101 Ways to Annoy People Part 1.....

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbours upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

Bedtime Totty....

...she is Leonor Varela, for those of you who are interested in giving her a good Googling.

Graphic: Shocking Undercover Video Of Prisoner Abuse At GITMO....

...everyone should watch this.

H/T Indy Jane

So much for Global Warming....

Earth on the Brink of an Ice Age.

Slovenia with record low temperature -49.

Snow continues to trap thousands at Madrid airport.

H/T Shelly

George Bush will be protecting the world from the bad guys for years to come.......

...and soon there could be a brace of USS Bushs. A whole Bush Battle Fleet. How to really piss off the libs.

USS George H.W. Bush Aircraft Carrier Commissioned.

DEAR ABBY:

'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'

Sam in California.

DEAR SAM:

'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'

H/T Shelly