H/T You Strip
also.....
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
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VERY INTERESTING STUFF..........
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only..Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later..
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
H/T Peter Gunn
Monday, 23 March 2009
Another Stupid Question....
The series 'The Mentalist' starts in the UK this week. Is it worth watching?
Question?
I need a netbook but which one? Am thinking the Samsung NC10 due to cost. I would like the new sony but it is stupidly expensive. Any suggestions?
I don't think a Blackberry will give me the utilities that I need.
Men can't win.....
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race…you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework …you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard…there’s never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough…you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay…this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay…..you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her…..that is favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you……it’s affirmative action.
If you mention how nice she looks……it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet……….it’s male indifference.
If you cry…………you’re a wimp.
If you don’t……..you’re an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her………you’re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you……she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy……. that’s domination.
If she asks you………it’s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form …..you’re a pervert.
If you don’t ….you’re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs, wear sexy lingerie and keep in shape ………….you’re sexist.
If you don’t……………..you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape……you’re vain.
If you don’t ……..you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers………….you’re after something.
If you don’t ……..you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements……..you’re full of yourself.
If you aren’t……. you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache…………she’s tired.
If you have a headache………….you don’t love her anymore.
If you want it too often………you’re over sexed.
If you don’t…………….there must be someone else.
So why do men die first?
H/T DML
News.....
Obama's 'spend, spend, spend' budget will bankrupt America, warns top Republican. Gordon Brown has already bankrupted Britain.
Stagnation, decay and a fear of failure is 'crushing Foreign Office', reveals damning report. Sack 'em all and start afresh.
Barack Obama's Afghanistan strategy delayed over 'bribes' row. His strategy seems to be 'surrender'.
American Top Gun fighter pilot academy set up by British. Well we are the best!
A list of war films that bend the truth. Only a couple.
Former POWs mark 'Great Escape' anniversary. Brave chaps.
Britain to have fastest train service in the world within 12 years. Who is paying? And make that 22 years.
Nobel outrage at South Africa’s decision to ban the Dalai Lama. Mugabe Good, Dalai Lama Bad. Time to boycott next years World Cup.
Bruce Willis marries British lingerie model Emma Heming. 
and finally.....PROSTITUTES FACING SOFT TIMES
In the words of..............from Rico
In the words of the 1st Sasquatch (and you thought Hitlery was a shrew) ObaMarx WILL:
"require you" "demand that you" "never allow you"
YEAH. RIGHT.
EXACTLY 'WHO' WORKS FOR 'WHOM' HERE?
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I'll apologize IF........from Rico
I'll apologize IF I'm wrong....but I do not think I am:
ALL of Obama's friends are either Marxists, Terrorists, Crooks....or a combination thereof.
Here's MY take on these varmints!
Quotes...
'Customers want 1/4” holes, not 1/4” drills.' - MBA Magazine
'Example is leadership.' - Albert Schweitzer
'All progress depends on the unreasonable man.' - George Bernard Shaw
'Quality is what the customer says he needs, not what our tests indicate is satisfactory.' - Tom Peters
'The road to hell is paved with good excuses.' - Walter Shawlee 2
'It is what it is.' - Bob Sibson
Sunday, 22 March 2009
Well I think it's funny....
Norfolk zoo only has one animal in it - a dog.
It's a shitzu!
H/T Old Dude
Prognosis.....
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
H/T DML
Dads....
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
H/T DML
We The People Stimulus Package........
...this is good.
H/T Bruce
Also How to become a banana republic
The Irish Blacksmith...
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses...
He said no, but he had once told a donkey to f**k off.
H/T Old Dude
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If at first... CHANGE 101.
Does anyone remember the old saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!"
Probably not. Not anymore than anyone remembers Eastern or TWA airlines, or the Studebaker Car Company, or any number of private enterprise entities that have disappeared over the years based on competition in the free market.
Heck, I'd even 'bet' most folks today cannot remember "Bear Stearns" much less articulate why they were allowed to 'fail' as a commercial enterprise, while Vikram Pandit's "Citigroup" was bailed out.
So here is TODAY'S short lesson plan for CHANGE 101 (Obama Administration version):
If your company is a failure, but is in the financial or insurance sector (and $upported the Democrats [read: Obama, Dodd, Fwank, Pelosi, Reid]), the government is waiting to prop you up with unlimited taxpayer money.
If your company is successful. but selling a popular product and creating jobs (including health-care services), the government is going to come down HARD and tax the bejeesus out of you.
H/T Rico
Blogpost of the Day....'I Shoot You Because I Care!'
'Dear Mr Taliban (ACM, AAF, Booger Eater, EOP, Bad Guy or whatever),
Over time I’ve received emails and comments on this blog that I’m insensitive to your culture. Evidently, I should endeavor to be more tolerant and politically correct in my quest to kill you with every means at my disposal.
After much self reflection I’ve seen the error in my ways and thought I’d write you a brief note to apologize for my actions and those of my compatriots in Team Vampire. I now see how my attempts to incinerate, ventilate and generally cause mayhem could possible hurt your feelings and offend your sensibilities. For that I apologize.
First, let me complement you on the bunker complex that we saw the other day. It seemed very nice and looked like you’d chosen wisely on the size. It appears to me that you didn’t overextend yourself financially building it. That’s great! I also hope that you didn’t use a subprime lender or an adjustable rate mortgage. This should alleviate any issues in the future about defaulting; having to walk away from the bunker complex.'
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