I remember carbon paper.
I remember the smell of the mimeograph.
I remember when the postman delivered mail twice a day.
I know why we “dial” a phone number or “turn” it to a certain television channel.
I remember the fading “dot” when you turned off the television.
I used to draw against Matt Dillon in the opening credits of “Gunsmoke,” and won every time (of course, I was just using my finger, while he had a real gun).
I’ve illegally copied music by holding a tape recorder up to an AM radio.
… And that you used to have to push “record” and “play” buttons to get it to record.
I’ve opened a can of Spam with a key (and tuna fish too).
I remember when milk was delivered to your door in pint-sized glass bottles.
I’ve opened a bank account with one pound.
I remember not having an indoor toilet… and when we got one put in what used to be a cupboard. I was the first to use it but I was afraid to flush it. I had to have Dad flush it for me.
I remember the insurance man coming every week to collect a weekly premium.
I know there used to be leaded petrol.
You could only get watermelon in the summer.
I remember adjusting roller skates with a skate key.
I remember phone booths.
Crushing beer can took a LOT more effort, because they were made out of tin instead of aluminium.
When you returned empty drinks bottles, they sent them back to the factory to get refilled… and you got your deposit back.
If you couldn’t afford a colour TV, you could buy a plastic overlay for your screen that was blue on the top and green on the bottom.
H/T DML
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Things I Remember........
Monday, 30 March 2009
Babe of the day.......Angie Harmon
Angie Harmon: "If I Disagree With Obama It's Not Because I'm a Racist"
Not only is she absolutely stunning but she also has her head screwed on right. PS I am in love!!!!!
Appeal of the Day.....
Our Lancaster Is Grounded!
Ok guys one of the only two flying Avro Lancasters left in the world is in trouble. They need some cash to restore and keep it flying. Please if you can make a donation to keep this old war bird flying.
'At this time we are seeking your financial support for a very special project here at Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum. During the annual inspection on our Lancaster bomber aircraft it was discovered that there is a corrosion issue with the propellers and until we can replace these propeller blades our Lancaster will be grounded.
The propellers used on the aircraft are unique and although we have been fortunate enough to locate a very limited and currently available supply, the total replacement cost will be about $100,000.00. As I am sure you are aware, we own and operate one of only two Lancaster bombers still flying in the world today. This aircraft is the most popular and notable aircraft in our collection and we therefore receive many requests to have the Lancaster attend events throughout North America. Unfortunately without new propeller blades we will not be able to meet our flying commitments for the 2009 season.
As this year is the Centennial of Flight in Canada, the Lancaster has been requested to attend a number of high profile events and venues including Air Venture at Oshkosh, WI, the largest air show in the world. It is also scheduled to go to Cold Lake, Alberta; Bagotville, Quebec; and Winnipeg, Manitoba; as well as attending several other events in Southern Ontario. In 2009 the Lancaster C-GVRA flight schedule has been planned to allow many hundreds of thousands of people to enjoy this aviation icon during the course of the summer as we celebrate 100 years of powered flight in Canada.
In order to honour our commitments, we must endeavor to make our Lancaster airworthy once again. We have sent an appeal letter to our members and supporters and now we are asking for your assistance at this difficult time. With less than 2% of our annual operating budget coming from any government grant or assistance, we rely very heavily on supporters like you. As a donor, your investment in the Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum is an investment in a great Canadian success story. We still have a great deal to be accomplished here at the museum and we hope you will take part in this worthy endeavor.'
Doh!
Blundering Somali pirates arrested after attack on anti-piracy ship. Bring on the 'Q' ships. There was a time when all British Registered Merchant vessels had to have armoured decks to mount weaponry. I am not sure that it still stands. A couple of miniguns would certainly liven up the pirates afternoon.
H/T DML
The Sunday afternoon Quickie!
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a lollipop and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the parking lot', he shouted.
'An ambulance just drove by.'
'Looks like the Anderson 's have company', he called out.
'Matt's riding a new bike....'
'Looks like the Sanders are moving'
'Jason is on his skate board....'
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,
'How do you know they are having sex?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a lollipop.'
H/T AJD
Repost: A New Fragrance.....
...full credit to Bob and Tom who did the original sketch, I just stuck in the pics. This sketch really needs an update.
THE RETIRED GOLFER ......
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it - This is one ferocious lion! He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor.
He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"
The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way!
H/T AJD
Blogpost of the Day....
The Death of a True British Hero. I am so glad someone put this into perspective.
H/T Canis 61
15 Rules of Drunk Dialing.......We have all been there
Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across - there are a few rules you must know.
Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialling.
Only drunk dial when you’re drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
It’s okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.
If you’re going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.”
Dirty talk while drunk dialling is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to get bent over?
Voicemails are always better. This way your friends can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, or even weeks to come.
Drunk texting is OK, but only if you’re prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you sober up.
It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they ever had, and everything they know they learned from you. This way you can all sleep well at night.
You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain that I would still love me too!
If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
It’s always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
Drunk dialling should be fun and light hearted, or dirty and sex crazed… Never angry.
Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They’re usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.
If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is a bad thing which usually leads to angry dialling.
If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s. It’s karma.
H/T DML
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Comparing Obama-Lincoln continued......by Borderblu
I think there are some very interesting comparisons between one the greatest Presidents, Lincoln and the Amateur President we now have. The problem is that the version being put forth today by the Dummycrats is being written by people that completely screwed up the story of Robin Hood.. In the story Robin Hood stole from the idle rich to give to hard working poor. Not, as they see it, that Robbing Hood (AKA: BO) should rob from the working people to give to the idle poor.
President Lincoln did not believe in big government. BO believes in HUGE government. President Lincoln was required to more with less. There were very little federal funds to fight the Civil War. BO believes in doing nothing with more. He is creating bankruptcy and working backwards. The Civil war was started because Southern Democrats wanted to protect an out dated system and President Lincoln wanted to bring them within "modern" times. BO is working with Democrats to turn a modern society into a system equal to third world countries by limiting and discouraging free enterprise.
President Lincoln was a firm believer that every man should be the one to reap the benefits of THEIR labor. The Southern Democrats believed that they had a God given right to the benefits of other people's labor (some things just haven't changed).
In one aspect there is, unfortunately, a similarity between President Lincoln and the Amateur President. When President Lincoln was elected it caused the greatest rift between the peoples of this country. The country was divided North vs South. Not since President Lincoln has this country become so divided, only now it is the West Coast and East Coast vs Middle America.
Rico Responds...
This was a poignant response from a good friend of mine, perhaps the best undercover 'cop' I ever met. He "gets it" ...unlike all too many here today. He is also quite right in that "some things do not change" like the seemingly eternal desire of the political class to enslave their fellow man.
There seems to be neither enough rope nor trees some days!!!
Happily, there ARE still enough of us that do NOT mindlessly accept the yoke of socialist slavery that we have a fighting chance to make it through this period.
- But when individual liberty and freedom are "criminalized" by our would-be political "masters" there WILL be blood.
Earth Before vs. After.........from Rico
Gee, THANKS big Al!
What else can one say besides "any chance you'll give-back all of that money you made on this MMGW scam?"
Trickle-UP poverty....from Rico
How could I resist this?
In a mere 45 days Obama has created more DEBT than Reagan did in 8 years!
Now that is some CHANGE you can believe in...can you feel the hand of government fishing-around in your pockets for any loose change that might have been missed?
Nothing says SOCIALISM like trickle-UP poverty!
- Yeah! Steal from the working and give to the non-working! It's only "fair" that we all be "equal" (as in equally poor) right?
Here's your newly-won MERIT BADGE assclown!
Marriage....
* Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
* At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”
* Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.
* A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
* Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
* Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.
* When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
* Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
* After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”
* A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
* When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
* How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
* The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
* Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason
* Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
H/T DML
News.....
Jacqui Smith's humiliation: Minister 'could face axe' after claiming taxpayers' cash for husband's pornographic films. She should have been sacked long ago.
Not even in the Augean sleaze of the Major years did we have a Home Secretary claiming porn on expenses. Littlejohn lets rip.
Brown unites G20 countries... against him. He won't last long now. The local elections should finish him off.
The man who flies lion air: Narnia-style circus duo's amazing performance. Ok that's cool.
Nationwide to buy Dunfermline as taxpayers ride to the rescue again. Another Scottish Bank!
Water police could ban power showers... and summer bills may soar in purge on waste. WTF!
500 staff, armoured limousines, and a fleet of decoy helicopters... Barack Obama set to sweep into UK under huge security. A bit over the top. The Queen manages with a lot less and she is way more important.
Pensioner booked for speeding... in a 1923 Model T Ford that doesn't even have a speedo. Just shows how bloody stupid our courts have become.
University offers social media degree about Facebook, Twitter and Bebo. Anyone studying this should not recieve grants or loans.
North Korea 'preparing second missile launch'. They haven't got the first up yet. It would be a good test for the USAF airborne lazer.
Rise of sea levels is 'the greatest lie ever told'. Tut tut Mr Gore, it seems you have been telling porkies.
Golf clubs 'dying because players can't afford a round'. Some green fees are daylight robbery.
China's global cyber-espionage network GhostNet penetrates 103 countries. Time to block China the way they block us.
Extreme Right gains ground as Ukraine falls into crisis. Watch out for Russia's interference.
'Dumbest criminal' arrested after police convention robbery. Doh!
General Sir Richard Dannatt says MoD took eye off Iraq as Afghan instability grew. The MoD has never had it's eye on anything.
US Vice-President Joe Biden's daughter Ashley filmed snorting lines of cocaine. If Biden was my father I too would need drugs.
A Tale of Two First Ladies: Times Online disses M'chelle; awestruck by Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. From the Cutting Edge
Al Gore Leaves The Light On For Ya. Hypocrite!
Hillary Clinton leaves flowers for Our Lady of Guadalupe, asks ‘Who painted it?’ Ooops.
and finally.....
New wireless stun gun launched. I want one. (H/T Chad)
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Investing in "isms" but NOT results.......from Rico
I REALLY loved hearing our pResident Hussein al-Chicago tell us we needed to "invest" in education the other day. More HIS idea, OUR money.
It makes sense I suppose from the point-of-view of our nations corrupticrats. Dumbing down the American voter through government-run unionized skools has worked awfully well for them so far! Throwing MORE good money after BAD into gooberment skuls does create a great many more horridly stoopid voters which is GREAT for the Democrats.
Look at the numbers. We already are paying twice as much for half the result. WHY?
- Government (the US Dept of Education) does few things well, including education.
- The NEA (teachers union) does nothing well except garner undeserved pay raises from government for producing functionally illiterate but 'good' (compliant) young socialists to register and vote Communist....errrr, Democrat.
This must then BE the intended and desired result. The great unwashed, ignorant, clueless masses sitting on their collective asses 'waiting' for government to take care of their every need and want and gullibly swallowing every idiotic utterance by their "leaders" and political masters. Blessedly FREE of responsibility and quite free of freedom.
- Silly me, I had presumed that thoughtful, informed, competent, skilled, individuals capable of critical thinking and free/able to achieve their full potential was the desired result of an education.
Orwell was prescient. Freedom is slavery, and slavery is freedom...at least if you're an Obamunista!
THIS POTENT COMBINATION IS DOING WHAT ALL THE OTHER "ISMS" IN HISTORY COULD NOT DO: DESTROY AMERICA.
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