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H/T Rico
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and..... OH, MY GOD !'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled, 'be jezis you should see the back of mine! '
H/T Liz B
The Sunday Best............
Day 23 – August 1st 1940
Amazing Grace - Rhema Marvanne 7 yr Gospel singer
"The Muslim.ca": Burning the Koran Bad! Holocaust Denial... Not So Much
South America Beckons to U.S. Firms
Why Some Republicans Want to ‘Restore’ the 13th Amendment
The 'Angel of Death': Special Forces' latest weapon is biggest flying howitzer in the world
Armed forces stunned by Trident bill
Sniper sues Army over error which put him in danger of being kidnapped by al-Qaeda
Nicolas Sarkozy orders Air Sarko One
Islamist protesters in Pakistan burn effigy of David Cameron as diplomatic row grows
Greek truck drivers clash with police as tensions rise over strikes
British troops advance in Operation Black Prince
BP's evaporating oil slick leaves America without a villain
North Korean football team shamed in six-hour public inquiry over World Cup
Israel retaliates with air strikes in Gaza
Having to pay for Trident is the Ministry of Defence's worst nightmare
The BP Spill: Has the Damage Been Exaggerated?
and finally..........
See no evil
Grace Kelly Tribute
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Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
Oh, don’t forget the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen
H/T Rico
Buchanan High School in Clovis, Calif., Endures Loss of Seven Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, Most From Any School in California
I'll be in Clovis at the end of August to attend my father-in-law's 70th birthday gathering. I called him this morning to give him the heads up on today's front-page story at the Los Angeles Times, "Wars Take a Heavy Toll on One California School." He thanked me, although Clovis is a small town, and he was well familiar with the losses:
The seventh funeral was Friday. The church was full, even strangers lined the streets and everyone in sight stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads as Brian Piercy's body moved from church to cemetery — the same as they had done for six others.RTWT.
Seven boys from Clovis' Buchanan High Shool have been killed in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
With Piercy's death, Buchanan has the somber distinction of more war dead than any other school in California.
There's no sure answer as to how such a thing could happen. But many people in this Central Valley city have a theory. They say Clovis is an extraordinarily patriotic community and its children are raised on God and country, duty and honor. They're willing to serve and willing to die, the same as Clovis' generations who went before them.
Buchanan's school colors are red, white and blue. The stadium is named Veteran's Memorial. Former classmates and older siblings come back in uniform for campus visits. Friday night football games include a moment of silence for Buchanan's fallen soldiers.
"The cheerleaders wear six stars on their uniforms. I guess it will be seven now," said 15-year-old Julie Thaxter. "We're not proud they died, but we're proud they fought. It makes others from here even more ready to go and honor them. My brother wants to join. He's 14 and he's been set on it since he was 8."
Also, "California’s War Dead" (for Buchanan High).
Cross-posted from American Power.
Weekend Roundup
Some Saturday blog samples:
* "Cancer Patient Nikki Phelps vs. Virginity Repairs in Britain — i.e., Islamic Hymen Replacement Surgery."And more great blogging at American Power.
* "Summer School 2010 — One of the Best Classes in Memory."
* "Eyes Without a Face (Stylin' Replay Version)."
* "One is the Loneliest Number (Saberpoint Fundraiser)."
* "Horrible Paris Rosen Front-Flip Crash at X-Games Motocross Event."
* "Mexican Drug Cartel Puts $1 Million Bounty on Sheriff Joe Arpaio."
* "FBI Releases 423 Files on Communist Historian Howard Zinn."
* "Outlook Dims on (Obama) the Economy."
Saturday, 31 July 2010
Best 'Out of Office' Automatic e-mail Replies:
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will not be able to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again... (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me... Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Sheila" instead of Steve
H/T Shelly
A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks "Excuthe me, do you have widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level and asks "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown one over there?"
The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, " I don't wealy fink my anaconda gives a phuc."
H/T Liz B
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Doing HER best.............from Rico
Gotta give the gurl SOME credit for contributing to the estrogen-flow on "the View" and doing HER best, but Berry is so damned hard on the paper products!!!
- Fits right in with the rest of the....er, "ladies", though and Oprah and Michelle must be so proud!
News From the Reb
A new post over at The Daily Bayonet! What to Do?
(Though for some reason Wordpress is calling it Auto Draft!)
Over at the Reb:
Movie Review: 'Brokeback Mountain'
Short Review: Sometimes there are moments when the fast-forward button ain't fast enough.
Full Review Here
Halloween is HERE!................from Rico
Known for their love of lavish parties, $100# steak, heavy drinking, the Worst Family has decided that it would NOT wait for Halloween this year. They agreed to 'preview' their respective costumes now (fancy dress for my civilized friends) before seeing what the Vice-Doofus and wife were going to wear.
When Michelle ma Belle came into the oval office wearing nothing but a pair of thigh-high vinyl go-go boots, the Won, horrified, asked: "What for the love of Allah kind of costume is THAT?"
- He didn't even need a teleprompter.
"I'm going as Puss-and-boots, and don't you EVEN take that tone with ME!" was the huffy reply, accompanied by a very Klingon-like scowl.
When the First Comrade appeared in turn, he was fully nude, whittling on a potato with a Chicago-style switchblade. When ready, he placed the potato on the end of his male organ. "You crazy MoFo! What you be doin?" asked the second-lady (hisself being considered the First Lady after since appearing on "The View").
"I'm going as a dick-tater!" he smugly replied, chin and nose elevated Mussoline-style. "And, let me clarify: Halloween is HERE. Now, and All year!....'cause I can and I sez so!!!"
- He didn't even need a teleprompter.
Communists, Reconquistas Protest Arizona's SB 1070 in Phoenix
At The Hot Joints, "Mexican Flag Waving Protesters Gather Outside Arizona Jail":
See also, "Communist ANSWER Coalition Spearheads Immigration Protests in Phoenix — Special Forum Edition, 'Moments With Fidel'."As always, more great blogging at American Power!
Friday, 30 July 2010
The brand new edition of."You know you're a redneck when.." is here!
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think ‘The Nutcracker’ is a vice on the work bench
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has ‘ammo’ on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23 You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say ‘Cool Whip’ on the
side.
24. The biggest city you’ve ever been to is WalMart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
H/T DML
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