H/T
Commander Salamander via DJ Elliott
Sunday, 5 October 2008
The Sunday Best....
The farm chickens come home to roost. A Zimbabwe land grabber gets a taste of her own medicine.
City Council advises letting thieves have their way. How effing stupid are these people.
Iraqi Security Forces Order of Battle: October 2008 update. by DJ Elliott
Blunkett set to return to Cabinet as Mandy wrecks Miliband's leadership bid. The crooks and cretins are back.
Free: The headmaster's killer we cannot deport in case we breach his right to a 'family life'. And you wonder why we need the death penalty restored.
War in Afghanistan 'cannot be won', British commander warns. Prat. All we have to do is wipe them of the face of the earth by any means necessary.
Sarah Palin: Barack Obama 'palling around with terrorists'. Good girl.
Cheerleaders are risking serious injury and death to support their teams. But it is worth it!
Police spend eight minutes an hour on beat. That many!
Government will spy on every call and e-mail. Are they now. George Orwell was way off the mark, soon we will need government permission to take a dump.
Britons accused over roadside bomb network. Hunt them down and kill them.
Somali pirates vow to stand and fight. Then they will die.
Hillary Clinton praises Sarah Palin. Hee hee. The Clintons are not going to let go of their White House plans yet.
Relentless Taliban just keep coming. And they keep on dying. We must hit them at their bases in Pakistan. What other reason is there for MOAB.
British Ambassador Sir Nigel Sheinwald called Barack Obama 'liberal'. I prefer 'F**King Commie'.
The Clarkypoos bit....
Fingers on buzzers, you bunch of ignorant twerps. The crappiness of British TV.
Chrysler Sebring Cabriolet 2.7 V6. I don't think he likes it.
..and a spot of May
James May: One helmet law for all
Following the demise of Northern Rock, Lehman Brothers, HBOS and the Bradford and Bingley, the banking crisis has hit Japan.
In the past three days, the Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank has decided to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is to be sold and is likely to go for a song while, today, Kamikaze Bank shares were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank has announced that it will soldier on but deep cuts are expected and Ninja Bank says it has taken a big hit but remains in the black.
500 staff at the Karate Bank will get the chop and analysts report something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where investors are expecting a raw deal.
H/Ts Andi B & Terry Wogan
Q: What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a cross country run?
A: One is a pant in the country, the other is a ...
H/T Old Dude
An Italian, an Irishman and Chinese guy arrive to start work at a construction site.
On the first day the foreman points to a huge mound of sand and says to the Italian, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Irishman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
To the Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of supplies."
And off goes the foreman leaving them to it.
When he returns two hours later to finds nothing has been done.
"Why didn't you sweep it?" he asks the Italian, who says, "I no gotta da broomstick. You tella me da Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies but he'sa disappear an I no finda him."
The foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel the sand. "Aye, well I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge o' supplies but I couldna find him."
The foreman is furious and storms off looking for the Chinese fellow.
He gets angrier and angrier as he searches the entire site but can't find him anywhere until suddenly the Chinese guy jumps out from behind the pile of sand and yells (wait for it):
"SUPPLIES!"
H/T Stormbringer
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There's no one as Irish As Barack O'Bama...
..just because Ger and the Lads asked me to promote them and I like the song. Their Website is HERE
Saturday, 4 October 2008
How True.....
On television yesterday a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.
The Republican spokesman replied, "That's because McCain's supporters are at work."
H/T Shelly
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Friday, 3 October 2008
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Some Punny Lines....
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects!
H/T Shelly
Thursday, 2 October 2008
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