H/T M Kohl
Monday, 22 December 2008
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A PEACE MESSAGE:
"Aloha snackbar, to all fundamentalist Islamoretard heathen followers of a lunatic pedophile psychopath (piss be upon him).
You moon-rock worshipping, misogynistic, homoerotic, murderousley-intolerant, savagely ignorant, bereft of common-sense, lacking basic human decency, and deprived of alcohol-humor-fun clueless dumbasses... I WISH YOU ALL ETERNAL PEACE (your version of peace, that is).
Sadly I ran out of time and ammunition to accomplish this for as many of you as I had hoped, but there are still very many more fine young men and women perfectly ready, willing, and able to continue bringing you PEACE until you reach an understanding of modern civilized behavior.
Until that time arrives, however, pucker up buttercup!"
Rico sends.
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Crime report!!!!
A local man was found murdered in his home in Galveston, Texas over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk and cornflakes, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks...
Police believe it was the work of a cereal killer.
H/T M Kohl
Some 'we were so poor' stories from Banjo Hangout.
People saw us kicking a can down the street and asked what we were doing...we said "Moving"
We hung the toilet paper out to dry.
We couldn't pay attention.
We made a hole in the kitchen wall, behind the cooker, and we used to dip our bread in next door's gravy!
We leave my door unlocked. A burglar might come in and lose some of his change.
My grandma went to the local government office and said: "I hear y'all declared a war on poverty. Did we win?"
The dog got nervous every year at Thanksgiving.
We had to borrow a few beans, to make the gas for a fire.
Our momma used to serve cereal with a fork.
The only things we saw on the kitchen table were elbows.
The bank came and repossessed the calendar they gave us at the county fair.
We would go to the KFC and lick other peoples' fingers.
The electric company came to the house and blew out the candles.
Maw & Paw had to face opposite directions and hook their elbows together, just to make ends meet.
We had to reach up to touch bottom.
When we needed a new pair of shoes Ma would make us run outside when it was raining.
When we got our feet good and muddy she made us come inside and put our feet up until the mud dried.
H/T DML
News...
After Woolies, 15 store chains 'will go bust next month' as shoppers stay at home. Kings Lynn has already lost Focus DIY, MFI and Woolies.
We failed to spot the dangers of debt: Bank chief's startling admission on financial crisis. Everyone with half a brain cell saw it coming, except the Government and Bank of England!!
Pensioner survives being stuck up to her knees in mud for 21 HOURS overnight. Tough old bird.
Parents warned not to 'hang baubles on Christmas tree' in leaflet isued by Ed Balls' staff. More bollocks from Balls.
Teenage thief who stole £25,000 of lead from Rochester cathedral is ordered to repay only £1. Pathetic!
Busking bagpiper arrested for causing 'distress' to local shoppers. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing!!
Mugabe's genocide: The images of despair that reveal the full horror of Zimbabwe. Mugabe must be killed, there is no other option.
British troops suffer four times as many fatalities as Americans. They need the right equipment now. Labour must be held to account for this.
Israeli leaders vow to topple Hamas. Good.
US says Zimbabwe power-sharing deal cannot happen with Robert Mugabe as president. The Embassy's Marine Detail should be able to manage it in about 10 minutes.
Rubber ducks elude Nasa. 'Looks like we got ourselves a convoy!!!'
Toyota to make first loss since 1941. Who will still be making cars in 12 months time?
National Grid chief Steve Holliday: blackouts will be common in 7 years. If we have a cold winter expect them this year.
Companies blacklisted in US for allegedly backing Mugabe operate freely in UK. Shut the f**kers down.
and finally.
God bless all of you . . . on the good Earth by Jeff Jacoby
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
"Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
H/T Shelly
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Lorenzo - The Flying Frenchman at Olympia 2008...
...ok this is impressive
If it is slow to load just hit pause for a min or so to let it get ahead.
The Sunday Best....
Britain has lost the stomach for a fight. A great piece by Michael Portillo.
Blagojevich pardons 22 people. What a great country to live in. Future convicts can pardon other convicts. (H/T DML)
Brown to resist 'cut and run' election in the spring. Coward. He will cling on 'til the bitter end.
The wider view: British soldiers and their Jackals in the Afghan desert. Better than a Snatch Landrover but still vulnerable.
Inside Europe's strangest 'theme park': A secret underground base offers a terrifyingly realistic reminder of Soviet occupation. Alternatively, just visit Brown's Britain.
Labour MPs back separation of state and Church of England. The Church is about the only thing left that Labour hasn't destroyed.
Promoters overstated the environmental benefit of wind farms. No surprises there.
Britain sells stake in Atomic Weapons Establishment. WTF!!! The scum running this country will disarm our nukes next.
Speaker Michael Martin blocks inquiry into his handling of Damian Green arrest. Talking of scum!
Rescue package for British car maker 'weeks away'. Why not order some new up-armoured landrovers for the Army. Landrover get the money and we get something semi-useful in return.
Jeremy Irons: Why our TV isn't what it used to be. Try the fact that British TV is run by a bunch of liberal halfwits.
General George S. Patton was assassinated to silence his criticism of allied war leaders claims new book. Interesting.
Crematorium to help heat homes in Swedish town. This idea could catch on.
Malaysian minister's praise for man who threw shoes at President Bush. Wanker.
Spitfire, Hurricanes and Lancasters losing out to Nazi foes in kit toy sales. Yes, but we won the war.
Bailiffs get power to use force on debtors. The Bailiff body count could be high.
Council pays out £90,000 a year in rent to mother of four. Start sacking the idiots responsible.
Lavish life of Mugabe’s looter-in-chief. It only takes one little bullet, or rather a big effing bomb.
Note to Warming Nuts-->BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE. from Yid with a Lid
The Clarkypoos Bit...
Ambulance, quick - some idiot’s had a brainwave. A must read.
BMW 330d M Sport
and little Jimmy May's contribution
Recession? What recession? 
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Forget the Eating and Drinking......
Christmas season is peak for mating. Nothing like a good stuffing at Christmas!!!!
H/T Nebraska Bob
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