Theo Spark

Saturday, 27 December 2008

North America, from Vancouver Island.

H/T JM Heinrichs

Cartoon round-up...by Mark Scott

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

H/T DML

Friday, 26 December 2008

How To Survive a Bear Attack......

Cheers to all our Readers.....

Taking to the Bunker......

An Englishman's Castle has a new blogging HQ.

Model of the Day....

A Spitfire in one-fifth scale

H/T Haddock

Ahhhh.....

WORLD SUBMARINE RACING CHAMPIONSHIPS 2008......

WELL, WHAT THE F**K DID YOU EXPECT TO SEE ????????

H/T DML

The Sales are on.....

H/T DML

Christmas Under Fire (1941).......

....for those who think Christmas at the start of a recession is "hard":

H/T Mark H

A Boxing Day Message to Channel 4....

H/T DML

Christmas Cheer......

See all the pics
HERE

News...

Amateurs Try Genetic Engineering at Home. Not sure this is a good idea!!

Outrage as Channel 4 lets Iranian ruler give 'offensive' alternative Christmas message. The bitch responsible is Dorothy Byrne. The Foreign Office must have OK-ed this and therefore Brown.

Teachers banned from using 'confrontational' red ink in case it upsets children. And you wonder why Britains education system is in meltdown.

Teacher criticises 'can't touch' culture after being throttled by pupil as colleagues looked on. We must restore discipline in our schools. If it involves tasering the little s**ts all the better.

Average person will soon have two mobile phones. Only two!

'Text-messaging elephants' save farmers' fields. Would that be a 'trunk call'!!!

Fears for Zimbabwean activists accused of coup plot against Robert Mugabe. Let's start the New Year on a positive note, by killing the bastard.

China sends unemployed graduates to teach countryside peasants in 'Mao policy'. So a bunch of modern living kids are going to the seriously backward countryside to tell that them being poor is good. The Chinese peasantry are already getting restless over land ownership, this could be the spark to set things off.

Mystery as dozens of public artworks vanish. So the Foreign Office are thieves as well as traitors.

China sends navy to fight Somali pirates. And to increase their presence in Africa.

Army way to water ski....

H/T DML

Boxing Day Totty....

Redneck Treehouse.....

Tally Ho.....

Has the hunt outfoxed the law?

Jeff Foxworthy -Medicine Side Effects....

Taken from The Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

Why Companies Prefer Married Men....

There is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a woman organisation called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are week, dumb, cantankerous…or what?”

“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”

H/T DML

Some websites that didn't think their addresses through......

1. “Who Represents” is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is:
www.whorepresents.com

2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than:
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
www.therapistfinder.com

5. There’s the Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don’t forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for IP computer software, there’s always:
www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site:
www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site:
www.speedofart.com

H/T Nebraska Bob