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Monday, 29 December 2008
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24 Actual Course Evaluations....
These are real course evaluations made by students in various colleges and universities.
1. “This class was a religious experience for me…I had to take it all on faith.”
2. “Text makes a satisfying ‘thud’ when dropped on the floor.”
3. “The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree.”
4. “His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame.”
5. “Textbook is confusing…Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it.”
6. “Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That’s the way I felt all term.”
7. “In class I learn that I can fudge answers and get away with it.”
8. “Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot.”
9. “The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him.”
10. “Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room.”
11. “In class the syllabus is more important than you are.”
12. “I am convinced that you can learn by osmosis by just sitting in his class.”
13. “Help! I’ve fallen asleep and I can’t wake up!”
14. “Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material.”
15. “Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing it’s a great stress reliever.”
16. “He is one of the best teachers I have had…He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don’t hurt his chances of getting tenure.”
17. “I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They’ve got a cool nest in the tree.”
18. “He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high.”
19. “This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
20. “Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in.”
21. “Bogus number crunching. My HP is exhausted.”
22. “The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon.”
23. “TA steadily improved throughout the course…I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up.”
24. “Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose–spraying in all directions–no way to stop it.”
H/T DML
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Totty of the Year......
Senior Airman Polly-Jan Bobseine, 823rd Security Forces Squadron fire team member, takes aim behind a M-24 Sniper Rifle to hone her close precision engagement skills during proficiency weapons training at a deployed location.
Last Easter the ex-cheerleader (age 19) and now an Air Force Security Forces Sniper in this picture was watching a road that lead to a NATO military base when she observed a man digging by the road. She engaged the target, and she shot him. Turned out he was a bomb maker for the Taliban and he was burying an IED that was to be detonated when a US patrol walked by 30 minutes later. It would have certainly killed and wounded several soldiers.
The interesting fact of this story is the shot was measured at 725 yards. She shot him as he was bent over burying the bomb. The shot struck him in the butt blowing into the bomb which detonated. He was blown to pieces...
(The killjoys at snopes have a different version. F**k em. This version is better)
H/T 45 Govt
Sunday Selection..........
Maggie's Farm have a great choice of reading.
Grow Up! Mark Steyn on the economic state of affairs. (H/T Nebraska Bob)
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Business Meeting Bingo....
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all. Here’s a way to change all of that… Bullshit Bingo!
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5″x5″ is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
take that off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value-added
proactive
win-winthink outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower
knowledge base
solution
touch base
mindset
client focus
paradigm
game plan
leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”
H/T DML
The Sunday Best....
2008 was the year man-made global warming was disproved. Sadly it won't stop the Liberal media and eco-weenies trying to 'convince' us otherwise.
Home for retired missionaries loses grant - because it won't ask residents if they are lesbians. Oh so pathetic.
Spiked drinks and derailed trains... the official U.S. warning for American tourists to Britain. It's not that bad.......well not all the time!
The £4billion Airfix Kit: Behind-the-scenes at Britain's biggest warships. If Brown has his way we will only get the models.
World's first flying car on the roads from next year - yours for just £130,000. Cool, especially if you mount a couple of guns on it.
Israel launches more air strikes as UN calls for ceasefire. F**k the UN.
Hopeless Zimbabweans prepare for bitter 2009. Where is the UN on this? With it's head up it's ass as usual.
Afghan cricket team battles to become world class. A step towards becoming a civilized nation.
Brown has brought Britain to the brink of bankruptcy. We are well past the brink!
Will Barack Obama help Gordon Brown in 2009? Only into political oblivion.
Diplomats watch to see if Robert Mugabe dare go on holiday. It will be a one way trip.
Britain and US refuse to demand end to Israeli airstrikes on Gaza. Hamas must be neutralised.
Flying in Iraq with 'Supermen'. Great article.
Autoworkers Union Keeps $6 Million Golf Course for Members at $33 Million Lakeside Retreat. Par for the Course where unions are concerned.
...the Clarkypoos Bit
Save the high street – ditch bad service and ugly sales girls.
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Video of the Week......'Taliban Soldier Song'......
Borrowed from Small Dead Animals
H/T JM Heinrichs
If your car shimmies, you may have a Driveline Vibration Issue
Driveline Vibration Issue - Possible Root Cause
This guy ran over a mattress and decided to keep going. The ensuing jumble finally whipped around enough to put a tear in the gas tank, the subsequent lack of fuel is what finally brought this vehicle to its knees.
It had still managed to drive 30 miles decently with a 60lb tangle wrapped around the driveshaft.
This genius complained that the vehicle had a "shimmy" when driving it high speeds.
This is what the dealership found..............
H/T Ted Foster
Saturday, 27 December 2008
A real neurological test (This is not a joke)
This is a REAL neurological test. Seat comfortably and feel calm.
1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below..
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
3- Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult..
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass this 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist, but not the proctologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having Alzheimer Disease. Congratulations!
H/T Shelly
Santa Clause was Going to Town......brilliantly funny lyrics.
...from Kevin Bloody Wilson.
H/T Pete Hurrell
News...
Out of the 4,500 residents of Falinge, Rochdale, only 300 work - despite hundreds of jobs being available. Cut off their benefits.
Behave at school and you'll be given a PlayStation or plasma TV, pupils are told. Pathetic. This is no way to create discipline and respect.
Is this the saddest dog in Britain? Theo, the puppy dumped at a rehoming centre on Christmas Day. Find the 'owners' and shoot them.
Council official evicted elderly tenants from bungalows... then moved in herself. Norwich council are a bunch of crooks.
Cheers! Now they tell us beer and wine give us cancer. That's me screwed!!
Housing market crash has led to 32,000 estate agents losing their job. Oh Dear!!
Barack Obama questioned by FBI agents over Blagojevich Illinois senate seat scandal. Tut tut. The Obamassiah's halo is slipping already.
Record number out for Boxing Day hunt. Tally ho!
CIA give Afghan warlords Viagra in exchange for information on Taliban. That's one way of keeping up support.
Pakistan sends 20,000 troops to Indian frontier. This could go tits up very quickly.
Radical Islamists linked to al-Qaeda set to take control of Somalia. Here we go again.
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