H/T M Kohl
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When private equity came for trailer parks
2 hours ago
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
An open letter to the Western banking establishment.......
Re. your unauthorised overdraft
Dear Western banking establishment,
I notice that your unauthorised credit facility from international lenders of last resort now totals approximately $10 trillion. As a taxpayer and therefore your largest shareholder I would be grateful if you could repay this facility at your earliest convenience. I have charged you an additional £30 for this letter and a monthly unauthorised overdraft fee of £28. If you do not repay this facility shortly I will have no choice but to become further massively impoverished along with legions of fellow taxpayers for multiple generations to come.
I would also be grateful if the strategists and economists who work for you could abstain from publishing their unsolicited opinions about resolving the banking crisis within the financial media. I am sure you will agree that hearing from the same strategists who worked for the architects of such widespread financial destruction is likely to irritate those of us who were not actually complicit in the extraordinary and venal credit boom of the last several decades. There is an expression that if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Those of your employees who were the public face of the problem are, I think you will agree, unlikely to represent the solution, unless perhaps they are fired – en masse, from a giant howitzer, into an area where they can do no further harm. Alaska, perhaps. I would further suggest that the high profile commentators who work for you and who have implicitly played their part in marketing and then amplifying this catastrophe might consider quietly entering another field with superior ethics and enhanced value to society at large: perhaps as piano players in brothels. This note has been copied to the letters editors of The Financial Times and The Wall Street Journal (which I understand is shortly to be renamed simply The Journal on the basis that Wall Street no longer actually exists – as was noted this week by Messrs Wen Jiabao and Vladimir Putin at Davos. Don’t worry about not being there – you weren’t missed).
Since the start of the year is always a time for slimming and working off the excesses of the festive period, I wonder whether your industry would consider operating along similar lines. Just as there is no real need to have 18 different coffee bars all touting their wares along my High Street, there is probably no real need to have 18 different banks, not all of which are subsidiaries of Santander, clogging the High Street and busily not wanting to extend me back any of my own money so generously lent to them.
I would also be interested in your views as to the wisdom and efficacy of the monstrous pile of credit being shovelled at you and your peers by governments when it was overmuch credit creation that precipitated this crisis. I do not, of course, expect anything other than a self-interested response. But you may find the following observations pertinent. If they seem acutely relevant today it is because they were written in the early 1930s, by one Garet Garrett (and a grateful hat tip to M. Gandon):
“The general shape of this universal delusion [that is, credit] may be indicated by three of its familiar features.. First, the idea that the panacea for debt is credit.. The burden of Europe’s private debt to this country now is greater than the burden of her war debt; and the war debt, with arrears of interest, is greater than it was the day the peace was signed.. Debt was the economic terror of the world when the war ended. How to pay it was the colossal problem. Yet you will hardly find a nation, state, city, town or region that has not multiplied its debt since the war. The aggregate of this increase is prodigious, and a very high proportion of it represents recourse to credit to avoid payment of debt.
“Second, a social and political doctrine, now widely accepted, beginning with the premise that people are entitled to certain betterments of life. If they cannot immediately afford them.. nevertheless people are entitled to them, and credit must provide them.. Result: Probably one half of all government, national and civic, in the area of western civilization is either bankrupt or in acute distress from having over-borrowed according to this doctrine.. Now as credit fails and the standards of living tend to fall from the planes on which credit for a while sustained them, there is political dismay.. When [people] have been living on credit beyond their means the debt overtakes them. If they tax themselves to pay it, that means going back a little. If they repudiate their debt, that is the end of their credit. In this dilemma the ideal solution, so recommended even to the creditor, is more credit, more debt.
“Third, the argument that prosperity is a product of credit, whereas from the beginning of economic thought it had been supposed that prosperity was from the increase and exchange of wealth, and credit was its product.”
It will probably not have escaped your attention that the National Housing Federation this week urged the UK government and its wholly owned banking subsidiary, Northern Rock, to extend mortgages to people on lower incomes. “Given that Northern Rock has been nationalised it should now be made by ministers to take on a social purpose and ensure that those people on low-to-moderate incomes who can afford to buy a low cost home, and have a good credit rating, are given access to mortgages,” said NHF chief executive David Orr. Be careful what you wish for. The Nationwide building society, on the same day, reported UK house prices falling at an annualised 17%. Perhaps Mr. Orr wishes a whole new sub-class of low-to-moderate wage owners to be lured into a collapsing housing market. Nice one. Said wage owners should perhaps be grateful that the banking system is currently so dysfunctional (a.k.a. “finally prudent”) – it may end up saving them a fortune in lost housing equity.
Perhaps you, like I, find it richly ironic that members of the public still use your investment subsidiaries as a means to protect and grow their private wealth. I think you should promote the activities of these subsidiaries more widely. My idea for an advertising slogan: “When it comes to moral hazard, we’re Number One. We helped trigger the biggest financial and economic collapse in history through our imprudent lending and investment. Between 18 million and 30 million jobs throughout the world are almost certain to be lost. And more than 50 million jobs throughout the world are now in jeopardy. As a result of our investment expertise, we’ve lost billions, and those of us that still exist and aren’t owned by the taxpayer are technically insolvent. Now, how can we help you with your finances ?”
In any event, this letter is also to let you know that now that you and your members, in collusion with your governmental paymasters, are offering negative real returns to cash depositors, I am withdrawing what remains of my funds since I can find altogether better opportunities for the preservation and growth of my capital within high quality pockets of the equity and corporate bond markets, and I can get sufficient “insurance” for my increasingly worthless fiat currency in the form of gold. I appreciate that the withdrawal of my funds may send you spiralling into nationalisation. Sorry about that. And since you appear not to know the meaning of the word:
“Sorry. (“sQrI), a. Pained at heart; distressed, sad; full of grief or sorrow. In later use freq. in weakened sense, and often employed in the phrase “I’m sorry” to express mere sympathy or apology. But not by members of the banking profession.”
Yours sincerely
A. Customer.
H/T DML
Monday, 2 February 2009
The First Aircraft Carrier........
and the Royal Navy test their new carrier thanks to Brown's Budget Cuts.
H/T JM Heinrichs.
Sooo true....
An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks'.
A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks'.
A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks'.
The English doctor, not to be outdone, said 'Hah!. We can take two arseholes out of Scotland, put them in 10 & 11 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours'.
H/T DML
Quote of the Day.....
'We have the right kind of snow, just the wrong quantity'. - Boris Johnson, Mayor of London.
Important health alert for women.....
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas.
However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Attraction to the same sex
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
H/T DML
The Texan Chapter of The Democrat Party.....
Shot in Palo duro canyon (just south of Amarillo, Tx )
H/T Chad
News......
Snow Day! Millions trapped at home by travel chaos as Britain is hit by 10 INCHES of snow. And there's much more on the way. What effing snow!
Persecuted for praying: Nurse who faces the sack after offering to pray for sick patient. WTF!
Sellafield workers join wildcat strikes as they demand jobs 'level playing field'. Blame European legislation and the Government for letting the EU run Britain.
Cricket team told it can't call itself 'the Crusaders'...in case it offends Muslims and Jews. Oh for f**ks sake. Not sure about the pink shirts either.
How can a baby chimp become smarter than a human child? All they need is love, say researchers. When they grow up they can become politicians.
Barack Obama preserves CIA renditions as he keeps elements of Bush's war on terror. Welcome to the real world Mister President.
African nations call on West to lift sanctions against Robert Mugabe. Assholes. It is time to cut off all aid to Africa.
Families forced to put down their horses as recession takes hold. Keep the horse and cancel the holiday.
Schools becoming 'anti-reading' zones, claims author. Our education system is a disaster. The Teachers Unions and Ministry must be held to account.
Rare Second World War pictures go on sale for Bomber Command appeal. A great appeal serving the memory of all those who died in Bomber Command. More details HERE
Confusion over registration restricts turnout in Iraq poll to 51%. Which is about the same as the UK and US.
‘Jimmy Carter’ tag has Obama wincing. And they are right.
Happy few get access to world's most exclusive e-mail address. You mean wanker@whitehouse.com
The Ant Story.....South African Style
ORIGINAL VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food
or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
SABC1, 2 and 3 show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The world is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Good Morning Live with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Demonstrations are held in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
TV commentators explain that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and there are calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the Government drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government and handed to relatives of the grasshopper.
The grashopper instigates a lawsuit against the ant, and the case is tried under the watchfull eyes of the trade unions.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighbourhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be VERY careful how you vote in 2009!!
H/T James M who says 'we have a National Election coming up here in South Africa later in the year, I find this quite fitting for the attitude of the poor masses here in our country, such a sad “culture of entitlement” and still after 18yrs of a democratic “peoples government” it’s still “apartheids fault”!'
Where to Live After Retirement:
You can live in Phoenix where...
1.You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
OR, you can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 but still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and drought!
OR, you can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "The City" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "Nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn (Ed note, if you even have a car!)
6. You think eye contact is an Act of Aggression.
OR, you can Live in Minnesota where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes all fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
OR, you can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either '"n yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference too!
OR, you can live in Colorado where...
1.. You carry your $3000.00 mountain bike atop your $500 car!
2.. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3.. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4.. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
OR, you can live in Ohio where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
OR FINALLY, you can live in Florida where...
1. You eat "dinner" at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
H/T Shelly
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Topical seeing as the UK is about to 'disappear' under 2 inches of snow.......
...so all those people who are not unemployed or on strike will have the perfect excuse not to go to work tomorrow.
Late News....
Half of us are barely literate and it's getting worse. Can Britain get any worse?
Illegal immigrants found hidden in bins. They must be desperate. Most sane people are trying to get out of Britain.
More than 100 suspected illegal immigrants caught working on Olympic site. No surprise.
Minority sports hit hard in the pocket as they prepare for 2012 London Olympics. The socialist idiots running this country would hate us to win medals.
Tips on Getting More Efficiency from your Women Employees
The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during World War II, only 61 years ago. The intent was not to be "funny".
1.) Pick young, married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2.) When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3.) General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4.) Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5.) Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs set out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
6.) Whenever possible, let the female employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
7.) Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make for some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
8.) Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
9.) Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
10.) Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
Anyone want to post this in their office tomorrow?
H/T DML
82nd LRSD OEF VIII....
A collection of still images and video taken by the men of 82nd LRSD on their 2007-08 Afghanistan Deployment. Edited by Justin Hunt using Sony Vegas Pro 8
The Sunday Best....
Revealed: The secret Soviet past of sleaze peer Truscott. How the f**k did this guy become a peer? No doubt paid Blair. He has KGB plant written all over him.
I am like Titian, Gordon Brown tells baffled world leaders. Half right Gordon, you are most certainly a tit.
Action MoD: Never mind equipment shortages in real warfare, Defence Ministry now markets full range of toys. Just confirms what a joke the MoD are.
Financed by the British taxpayer, brutal torturers of the West Bank. Why are we giving the Palestinians money in the first place.
Vladimir Putin faces signs of mutiny in own government as protests break out in east. About time someone stood up to the 'Pseudo Tsar'
North Sea sees recovery of cod stocks. But will we let them recover properly before we start over fishing again? British waters should only be fished by British owned boats. Sod the Common Fisheries Policy.
How Hamas is reasserting itself in Gaza using money, manpower and force. Israel should have wiped them out.
This is the sub-prime house that Barack Obama built. The truth will out.
Blowfish testicles poison seven. Shouldn't eat testicles.
60,000 infected with cholera in Zimbabwe. How many will die while the west does nothing?
Zimbabweans celebrate as Morgan Tsvangirai joins Robert Mugabe's government. Naive fool. Mugabe will not share power. He will only be Prime Minister on paper. Until South Africa are persuaded to drop their support of Mugabe nothing will change.
National march against foreign workers. We need the foreign workers to do the jobs the British are too f**king lazy to do themselves.
Defence chief attacks ‘weak’ Afghan leader. If Jock Strap wants to criticise someone try the Government and MoD for their gross effing incompetence on all things military. The Afghan government is not his problem. Making sure the British military is properly manned and equiped is.
World to dump ‘toxic ships’ on Britain. The way things are going it will be the only industry we have left.
Whitehall data-share plan extends ‘snooper Britain’. I am surprised we don't need permission to take a dump.
Iraqi fighters swap bullets for ballots. Hopefully it will lead to a brighter and safer future. Iran is now the problem, although Imadinnerjacket could be voted out later this year which may help.
Israel’s nuclear hawk Avigdor Lieberman in poll surge. Good.
Britain 'must revive farms' to avoid grave food crisis. We must be self-sufficient in all foods that can be produced here. We can start by quitting the CAP and binning DEFRA
Defense Official: Obama Calling for Defense Budget Cuts. As predicted. Obama has no idea on defence or on anything else.
The western front of the jihad against the Jews. by Melanie Phillips
the Clarkypoos Bit....
Come quick, nurse - the NHS is going frightfully green.
Volkswagen Passat CC GT V6.
and little Jimmy May.
Help fix my Honda, please.
and finally.
The Lost Squadron from The Belmont Club. (H/T Nebraska Bob)
Best of Bumper Stickers.....
· If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
· Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
· It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better
· I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
· Sorry, I don’t date outside my species
· Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
· Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
· As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
· Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
· Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
· Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
· I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car …
· I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
· Your kid may be an honour student but you’re still an IDIOT!
· It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
· When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Inland Revenue.
· Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
· Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
· Wink, I’ll do the rest!
· I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
· When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
· Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
· If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
· Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
· My karma ran over my dogma.
· Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from.
· Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
· We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
· Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
· He who laughs last thinks slowest.
· Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
· Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
· Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
· Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
· Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
· Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
· There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
· Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
H/T DML
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