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H/T DML
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
One sentence stories..............
When I was 5 or so my mom would tell me to lie down before she tied my tie and I just now realized at the age of 19 that she did this because she’s a funeral director.
My 8-year-old sister proudly declared that she knows that “WTF” means “Wow, That’s Funny” and has been using it all over the internet.
I held my father’s hand as he died in that hospital room and realized I’d never held his hand before that moment.
Today you shaved your hair into a mohawk to make my mom laugh over losing hers to chemo and today I realized that you are my hero.
When asked to name the one person absent from her life that she missed the most, she responded, “The person I hoped I’d be by this point in my life.”
I conduct job interviews for a living and nothing gives me a better sense of wielding karma than giving the job to the nervous kid instead of the better qualified arrogant prick.
My online dating service matched me with my cousin.
Arriving home after sitting in traffic for two hours, I said to myself, “Oh, wait, I don’t live here anymore.”
As I woke up from my nap to find written on my feet “This is my momma and you can’t have her,” I realized that my child is very, very strange.
My mother called me to do a chore and I responded, “What you need, Woman,” to which my father chided, “Your mother is NOT a woman!”
H/T DML
Monday, 6 July 2009
Observations of the President's 1st Five Months..............
He has.....
1. Offended the Queen of England .
2. Bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia .
3. Praised the Marxist Daniel Ortega.
4. Kissed Hugo Chavez on the cheek.
5. Endorsed the Socialist Evo Morales of Bolivia .
6. Announced we would meet with Iranians with no pre-conditions.
7. Gave away billions to AIG also without pre-conditions.
8. Expanded the bailouts.
9. Insulted everyone who has ever loved a Special Olympian.
10. Doubled our national debt..
11. Announced a termination of the space defense system the day after the North Koreans launched an ICBM.
12. Despite the urgings of his own CIA director and the prior 4 CIA directors, released information on intelligence gathering.
13. Accepted without public comment the fact that five of his cabinet members cheated on their taxes and two others withdrew after they couldn't take the heat.
14. Appointed a Homeland Security Chief who quickly identified as "dangers to the nation", groups including veterans of the military, and opponents to abortion on demand, and who ordered that the word "terrorism" no longer be used but instead referred to such acts as "man made disasters".
15. Circled the globe so he could openly apologize for America's greatness.
16. Told Mexicans the violence in their country was because of us.
17. Politicized the census by moving it into the White House from its Department of Commerce origins..
18. Appointed as Attorney General the man who orchestrated the forced removal and expulsion from America to Cuba of a nine-year old whose mother died trying to bring him to a life of freedom in the United States and approved the pardon of Marc Rich so Clinton could let the felon go free.
19. Salutes as heroes three Navy SEALS who took down three terrorists who threatened one American life and the next day announces members of the Bush administration will likely stand trial for "torturing" a terrorist, who had played a part in killing 3000 Americans, by pouring water up their nose.
20. Flew Air Force One over New York City causing panic at a cost of $400,000 to get a photo you can make with Photo Shop for less than a dollar.
21. Sent his National Defense Advisor to Europe to assure Europe that the US will no longer treat Israel in a special manner and they might be on their own with the Muslims
22.Began the process of nationalizing the Auto Industry and the Insurance industry.
23 Announced that for intent and purposes the Health Insurance Industry will be nationalized.
24 Sided with Hugo Chavez instead of the Rule of Law as Honduras legally deposed Zelaya and installed Roberto Micheletti as President. It must be noted that the army did so following a lawful order of the Honduras Supreme Court.
And just think only 1360 days to go, if we have anything left.
H/T Shelly
Point of view..............from Rico
'This explains a lot.
If your perspective, your historical point-of-view is one where America and it's entire history...Hell, let's cut the crap, America's very EXISTENCE is as depicted below can there be ANY reasonable doubt that despite what is "said" along hopey-changey lines that all of Obama's and the Left's actions are intentionally meant to destroy America?'
Awesome: Top Gear - Ken Block with James May
This is absolutely amazing......the filmography is brilliant. This is the best Ken Block video on the web todate. Watch out for Ricky Carmichael's cameo appearance.
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News.........
Defensive errors. Why the Mod will never be held to account for their constant failures.
BBC chiefs 'rack up biggest pensions ever seen in public sector'. Another reason to scrap the licence fee.
Umpire, 72, killed as cricketer's throw hits him on the head. A tragic accident. Let's hope the Heath and Safety nazis don't insist on umpires wearing helmets.
Police spending half their time away from front line as paperwork increases. Only half!!
Russia hints it could block nuclear arms deal with US President Barack Obama. Expect some unilateral nuke disarmament from Obama.
Recession may get worse, Gordon Brown warns world leaders. Reality dawns.
140 people killed as China protest suppressed. We should buy more from India which is a democracy.
Iran clerics declare election invalid and condemn crackdown. Just when the Mullahs thought they had crushed to opposition.
'Dodd Continues To Mislead People About the Value of His Irish Property'
Health and safety fears are making Britain a safe place for extremely stupid people. Common sense is long gone. I blame two-bit legal shysters who have made 'accidents' and compensation big business.
UK concedes new Basra death probe. Bulls**t. More lawyers in need of a slap.
and finally.....
Duty Officer Explains Job Is Rigourous.
Australia probes navy 'sex game'.
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Soooo funny: Michael Mackintyre on last nights Top Gear..........
....I had never heard of him 'til last night. This guy is very very funny as he discusses cars and driving.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX…..
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you so me.
6. It’s O.K. when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
1. You can do the whole neighborhood.
H/T DML
Sunday, 5 July 2009
DC Tea Party highlights
Shots from the DC Tea Party, notice Wonder Woman seems to have showed up.
The socialists get Nancy Pelosi and petuli wearing hippy chicks at their events and the Tea Party events get Wonder Woman.
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You know you are from California if....
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
4. You can't remember . . Is pot illegal?
5. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
6. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
7. You can't remember . . Is pot illegal?
8. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
9. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U. S.
10. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
11. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
12. You can't remember . . Is pot illegal?
13. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH.."
14. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
15. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
16. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
17.. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
18. The Terminator is your governor.
19. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
H/T Shelly
Band of the Day: 'Old Man Pie'......
Formed out of a piggery in deepest darkest West Yorkshire, Old Man Pie play country rock, americana and pie music. Our influences are many and varied and musical differences are a plenty, but we are united by a pleasure of good melody and lyrical depth.
Caution Language.
Their site is HERE
"Real" vs. "Reported"...................from Rico
Taking a break right now from considering the USG's unfunded liabilities vs. the deficit (ugly, ugly numbers) which pretty much guarantee TWO things...even 'less' bang-for-the-buck in government services (if you can imagine that) AND much-much higher, significantly higher, taxes (all too believable). It's just too depressing for a sunny Saturday.
There ARE some other things we NEED to know, but really aren't being told by the media (shocking, I know), and while also depressing, aren't made any better by ignoring or 'massaging' the facts. To guide ourselves through this mess, it is better to know the following than to put blind trust and/or any faith in the political denizens of incumbistan (Wash.D.C.).
The economists "predicted" the June unemployment number would be 350,000 but they got it wrong...it was 467,000.
While many parts of the U.S. are now seeing 'reported' double-digit unemployment numbers, the numbers announced by the USG 2 July bring us to 9.5% nationwide. This understates the problem.
- When you factor-in those who are currently unemployed but no longer looking for work....but want work and are available for a job, PLUS the 9 million who are working part-time just to have ANY work at all, you get a "real" unemployment rate of 16.5% vice the "reported" rate.
That is nearly 1 out of 5 potential workers. [Probably more than that in California and Michigan I'd bet.]
The only recovery "green shoots" around are the ones being rolled in zig-zag papers by Team Obama. Hey, Washington: This is not getting better no matter how much wack-tabacky you smoke!
It is NOT a good time to be spending money we do not have to by our way out of debt.
The Sunday Best....
Licence rebel prosecuted as BBC finally tackles TV fee 'refuseniks'. Last time we ran a poll 86% said licence should go.
All public sector workers should have pay frozen, urges head of government spending watchdog. Except the military. Actually you could get rid of 25% of the public sector tomorrow. It would only improve things.
How Guards hero fell victim to the Taliban's deadly mobile phone spies. So shut down the mobile phone networks.
21st out of 23: Defence Secretary’s Cabinet rank is the lowest in history prompting Armed Forces anger. The Army should remove the government.
Inside a Pakistani school where children are being brainwashed into terrorists. Teach them cricket instead!
Red tape forces cancellation of village fetes. Ignore the red tape and lynch the first asshole who turns up to enforce it. Labour hates the countryside and it's values.
Troops' lives 'at risk through vehicle delays'. Sack those responsible for the delays.
Lack of helicopters in Helmand costing lives of British troops. Brown must be charged with 'corporate manslaughter' for his criminal neglect of our forces.
Honduras coup: exiled president to return as supporters march on airport. A plane load of left wing nut jobs!!!!
Pirates 'smuggling al-Qaeda fighters' into Somalia. A spot of swine flu will soon fix that.
Whitehall lines up ‘doomsday’ cutbacks. And not a single civil servant will go whereas in reality we could do without nearly all of them.
Taliban war pushes tanks into storage. Expect the cavalry to be hit in the defence cuts.
US 'may freeze North Korea bank accounts'. Why the f**k weren't these seized years ago.
British Islamists plot against Pakistan. Round them up and boot them out.
Saudis give nod to Israeli raid on Iran. It's going to happen.
America's quick response to roadside bombs outstrips British action. Send the politicians and civil servants to fight the war.
the Clarkypoos Bit.......
After three brushes with death in planes I want a parachute.
Lamborghini Murciélago LP 670-4 SV
Top Gear producer gives inside story on Top Gear
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN’T
10. Nuts…my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up…I need to wash my balls first.
H/T DML
Geoff Burch Motivational Speaker
Business guru and speaker Geoff Burch knocking 'em dead late last year.
Saturday, 4 July 2009
Jonathan Gabay on the Nazis
Jonathan Gabay's new book Soultraders was featured in this week's Jewish Chronicle. Read the review here.
Jonathan Gabay and Branding
Author of Soultraders, Jonathan Gabay highlights the difficulties brands have attracting customers.
Meet the Blogs...4th of July with Franken, Tea Parties & Obama
Meet the Blogs, with Mr Green, Mr Ott & Mr Dodge on PJTV -- and beer, brats, and bombs. Discussions of Sen. Franken and Obama's latest moves to expand the government.
My Top 5 patriotic games...
1. Fallout 3
2. Prime Target (Marathon engined game)
3. Duke Nukem
4. America's Army
5. Call of Duty 4
Inspiration came from from this list.
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