H/T DML
Thursday, 9 July 2009
News.........
Remembering a Real Hero. (H/T Nebraska Bob)
Electing a Moron By Alan Caruba
Police chief denounces 'cowardly' iPhone users monitoring speed traps. A good application for the i-phone. (H/T JMH)
O2 for the O’s from Fausta.
Britain 'to build £1m jail in Nigeria' for 400 prisoners serving sentences HERE. WTF!!
The ONE MILLION people who haven't worked since 1997. Stop their benefits.
More British soldiers will die in Afghanistan, says minister as seventh is killed in a week. Mainly due to lack of the proper kit.
Chitty Chitty Bang Ban! Killjoys bar film car from Mayor's parade for having no MoT. Typical of Norfolk plod.
G8 summit: leaders warn global economy faces more danger. No s**t.
Marijuana 'could help solve California's economic problems'. I thought Marijuana had caused most of California's problems.
Barack Obama tells Africa to stop blaming colonialism for problems. Well he is an African so he should know.
Fury over MoD refusal to buy more helicopters for Afghanistan troops. The MoD is the biggest problem our troops face.
G8 leaders claim historic break through on new deal to tackle global warming. Or how to bankrupt the west.
North Korea 'launches massive cyber attack on Seoul'. It is only a matter of time before we have to 'smack' North Korea.
True unemployment rate already at 20% I hate to think what the true figure is in the UK.
and finally............
Democratic Congressman: You expect us to read bills before passing them? The Daley Gator has a good idea.
Camping trip.........
Dan was attending his 4X4 club’s monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn’t make the upcoming camping trip because his wife wouldn’t let him go. After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow 4X4 friends Dan left to go back home to his wife.
When Dan’s friends started arriving to set up camp the following day who should be there but Dan sitting up in front of his truck, tent up, fishing rod in hand, camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.
”How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Dan?” “I didn’t have to” was Dan’s reply. “When I left the meeting I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, surprise!!
When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, “Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want.”
So here I am!
H/Ts DMJ & AJD
Slicker than........from Rico
A really smart guy and trusted friend once used the expression "slicker than snot on a leather mitten" and I have shamelessly stolen it for my own use. It describes the current situation perfectly.
IMHO our feckless.....er, fearless pResident Obama-Soetero-Soro's sock-puppet doesn't need any of this Liagra stuff, he's naturally overflowing with it. His system has no testosterone, so it was easy to fill in the empty spaces with naturally-occurring bullshit.
This may explain why so many defective personalities self-select to be political parasites...they have too much of this stuff in their systems as well.
I find it hard to imagine ANY of the greatest comedy writers/comedians being able to create the unsavory, bumbling, dishonest, clownish, and phoney-artificial characters as those who populate the political scene today.
For those who aspire to a free piggy-back ride through life on the shoulders of hard working taxpayers, but who may lack the requisite levels of dishonesty and reality avoidance, this stuff may be just the ticket, however!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Video: The Zimbabwean Titanium Trillion Dollar Campaign
"TBWA\Hunt\Lascaris won a record number of Cannes Lions for its Trillion Dollar campaign for The Zimbabwean newspaper at the prestigious annual Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival. This is the single most awarded campaign coming out of South Africa in Cannes’ 56 year history. This is the video that sent it roaring to the top of the heap of ads submitted. Inspirational"
H/T Paul H
Norfolk Poem on place names.....
Moost counties hev nearmes searm as Norfolk
Whot never sound quite loike they spell.
So, because I’m a trew Norfolk dumplin’
I fare ter know some onnem well.
Now, why should Wy-mond-ham be Windham?
And Happ-is-burgh’s Haisboro, yew see,
And Haut-bois....well, thass known as Hobbies.
They reckun thass French - dunt arsk me!
There’s By-laugh whot lay close ter Dereham,
Called Belaw, at least so they say,
And Gar-bold-is-ham-well, jist leave out the middle
Then Garblesham’s the trew Norfolk way.
There’s Colney, well, thass known as Coney,
An’ Cost-ess-ey thas Cossey fer sure.
Hindol-vest-on is well know as Hilderstun,
But please dunt arsk me what for!
The old folk at Wive-ton say Wiffen,
An’ the neartives of Cley will say Clay,
While Glandford’s referred to as Glanfer,
Thass torkin’ the trew Norfolk way.
The Norfolk for Salt-house is Saltus,
An’ Morston - just leave out the T.
While Stody is allus called Study,
That dew seem a rum’un ter me.
There’s Stiffkey what locals call Stukey
An’ their cockles are called Stukey Blews.
Thow, o’ course, the village med headlines
When the parson wuz well in the news.
This list ent complete I assure yew,
But these few are a proof jist ter show
Thass roight trew whot the rhyme say o’ Norfolk....
We allus dew diffrunt, yer know!
H/T Tim D
Light News.....
Decorated NZ WW2 airman dies. RIP.
Big Lie Propaganda
...by DJ Elliott
Ethical storm flares as British scientists create artificial sperm from human stem cells. WTF!! Not sure this is a good idea.
Far-Right extremists 'are plotting spectacular terrorist attack in UK', police warn. WTF 2!!!
Flash floods and power cuts (even at the Queen's garden party) in Britain's heaviest downfall since records began in 1865. Must be that global warming thingy!!
Gordon Brown to warn G8 leaders of threat of second recession. We haven't finished the first one yet. The stimuless has created more problems than it solved.
New Zealand goes mad for sport of sheep-racing. Well it's different.
Zimbabwe farmers leader murdered in axe attack. Mugabe must be held to account.
Review ordered as defence spending hits crisis level. We cannot cut back any further. We MUST increase the defence budget.
Barack Obama offers to scrap missile shield in return for help from Russia with Iran. Idiot.
Al Gore invokes spirit of Churchill in battle against climate change. Don't think Winston would be amused.
and finally......
World’s strongest vagina breaks own record lifting 14 kilos. Bloody hell.
BBC New Labour are one in the same..........
....Dimbleby taking orders from Harriet Hardon.
H/T Liz B
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
The Choice is Yours..............from Shelly
OK, THE CHOICE IS YOURS: GO HIKING ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL, or GO TO ARGENTINA TO SEE MARIA ?
Maria
Maria's little sis
In all fairness to Governor Sanford and the reporting errors his staff made:They thought he said, "I'm getting on the Appalachian Trail."
And that sounds an awful lot like what he actually said: "I'm getting some Argentinean tail!"
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Helpful Norfolk Sayings........
Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one if one don’t eat.
Don’t corner something meaner than you.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Don’t go huntin’ with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
You can’t unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.
Borrowed from Mitchieville
H/T JMH
CHANGE.............from Rico
Drowning in a sea of paper. That is a 'change' isn't it? Look at the chart.
The government [read: Obama] has created 100% more money than existed a year ago.
All you need to know is the more dollars printed, the less each one is worth.
We are well and truly f**ked.
Stand by.
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Obama Shopping..........
Barack Hussein Obama was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls
in a local pub: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
To the blonde he said, 'I am the President of the United States . Now how
much will it cost me to spend some time with you?' She replied, '$200.'
To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was '$100.'
He then asked the redhead. Her reply was, 'Mr. President, if you can get my
skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get that thing
of yours as hard as the times we are living in and keep it rising like the
price of gas, make me hotter than it is in my apartment and screw me the way
you have the next two generations of Americans, then it isn't going to cost
you a damn cent!'
H/T Shelly
Norfolk Bride....
H/T DML
also: Scarecrow dressed as policeman for village fete 'stolen' by overzealous WPC
(H/T Liz B)
Good news!!!!!...............from Rico
It hardly gets better than this!
After the first one FAILED, the Democrats (C) are now talking about a 2nd Stimuless!!!!
But maybe too many have been 'distracted' by the unrelenting media circus surrounding the death and funeral of this Michael person, who was a black man who transformed himself into a white woman while behaving as a drug-addled, monstrous pedophile.
FOCUS America!
News accidentally covers tea party...
Apologises for offending its loyal viewers.
Methinks news organisations are thankful to Michael Jackson for saving them from having to care about what Americans care about...
News..........
Burgler Ass Whooped By 72 year old vet/boxer in England. Hee hee.
Bring back the duel to the death ...Good Idea.
Britain gives French £15million to police their own border. How hard is it to secure an island.
Murderers & rapists at large: Police won't name 1,000 criminals who should be in jail but have vanished... to protect THEIR privacy. What use are the Police and courts?
It's enough to leave you stumped... England versus Australia with the WELSH anthem! Which w**ker sent the test to Wales. The first test should always be at Lords.
China arrests 1,400 in aftermath of Xinjiang riots. Unlike Tianamen this time the internet will keep the stories and pictures coming.
BBC to cut programme budget to fill £2bn black hole in pension fund. Cut the pensions and sack all unnecessary staff, like most of them.
Welsh Guards bear brunt as Afghan death toll rises. With more men and weapons they could cause serious damage.
Taxpayers last in queue for repayment from Rock subsidiary. Surprise surprise!
The One.......
And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as The One. He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them :
“I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed.”
And the people rejoiced. For even though they knew not what The One would do, He had promised that it was good; and they believed.
And The One said “We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!! Change is good!”
Then He said, “We are going to tax the rich fat-cats,”—-
And the people said “Sock it to them!”
“—- And redistribute their wealth.”
And the people said, “Show us the money!”
And then He said, “Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody”
And Joe the plumber asked, “Are you kidding me? You’re going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??”And The One ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked, “Isn’t that Marxist policy?”
And she was banished from the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, “With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?”
And The One said, “Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!”
Then The One said, “I shall give 95% of you lower taxes.”
And one, lone voice said, “But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes.”
So The One said, “Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!! Show us the money!”
Then The One said, “I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!”
And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.
And He said, “I shall mandate employer-funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited health care and medicine and transportation to the clinics.”
And the people said, “Gim’me some of that!”
Then he said, “I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas.”
And the people said, “Where’s my rebate check?”
Then The One said, “I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!”
And the people said, “Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part about higher electric rates.”
So The One said, “Not to worry. If your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!”
Then He said, “Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bilingual signs and guaranteed housing…”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!!” And they made him King!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever- higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support
Then The One said, “I am the The One - The Messiah - and I’m here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!”
But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, “Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more…”
And the people said, “Wait a minute. That is unfair!!”
And the world said, “Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist State and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!”
And the people cried out, “Alas, alas!! What have we done?”
But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change The One had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.
And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, “Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!”
But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.
You may think this is a fairy tale, but it’s not. It’s happening RIGHT NOW..
H/T DML
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
