Press Falls for Yet Another Hoax
H/Ts Glenwood & JC
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Video: Will the Real Chamber of Commerce Please Stand Up?
Job application..........
Deer Sir,
I wanna apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I theenk I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person. Pepole seam to respond to me well.
I4m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job no problem. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you theenk that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a picksure of me taken at mi last jobb.
H/T DML
Video: Health Care debate in the Senate under reconciliation
This is how the Senate operates.........Scary
H/T Letchworth
Coaching Wisdom...........
#1. At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern. '
#2. 'After you retire, there's only one big event left... And I ain't ready for that.' - Bobby Bowden / Florida State
#3. 'The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#4. 'When you win, nothing hurts.' - Joe Namath / Alabama
#5. 'Motivation is simple.. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#6. 'If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, 'Roll, tide, roll!' - Bear Bryant / Alabama
#7. 'A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
#8. 'There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.' - Woody Hayes / Ohio State
#9. 'I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.' - Bob Devaney / Nebraska
#10. 'In Alabama , an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant.' - Wally Butts / Georgia
#11. 'You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.' - Paul Dietzel / LSU
#12. 'It's kind of hard to rally around a math class.' - Bear Bryant / Alabama
#13. When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world. 'No, but you can see it from here.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas ...
#14. 'I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.' - Bear Bryant / Alabama
#15. 'There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line.' - Matty Bell / SMU
#16. 'Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
#17. 'I never graduated from Iowa , but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's.' - Alex Karras / Iowa
#18. 'My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.' - Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
#19. 'I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.' - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
#20. 'Always remember... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.' - Shug Jordan / Auburn
#21. 'They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces.' - Darrell Royal / Texas
#22. 'Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
#23. 'They whipped us like a tied up goat.' - Spike Dykes / TexasTech
#24. 'I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: 'Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good.' - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State
#25. 'Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel.' - Bobby Bowden / Florida State
#26. 'Football is not a contact sport - it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.' - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
#27. After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: 'All those who need showers, take them.' - John McKay / USC
#28. 'If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.' - Murray Warmath / Minnesota
#29. 'The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
#30. 'Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.' - Spike Dykes / Texas Tech
#31. 'It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it.' -Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
#32. 'We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.' -Darrell Royal / Texas
#33. 'Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas ' - Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
#34. 'We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.' - Wilson Matthews / Little Rock Central High School
#35. 'Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad.' - Darrell Royal / University of Texas
#36. 'I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
#37. 'Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.' - John Heisman
H/T Shelly
My First Time............
It was my first time ever
And I’ll never forget
I’d do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I..
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it’s finished
It’s all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow . . .
H/T DML
News........
Demon Beast Recession! NSFW
MPs' expenses: pay rise for MPs to stop rebellion
Hamid Karzai agrees to run-off amid fears of more violence and fraud.
Pakistan condemns US for abandoning Afghan checkpoints.
Tony Blair branded a 'terrorist' by heckler during West Bank visit.
US commander in Iraq warns of threat to pull-out timetable.
British backpackers 'spreading sexually transmitted diseases across Australia'.
Iran objects to French involvement in nuclear talks.
Dunkin' danger! Hundreds of council workers duped into answering Health and Safety questions on eating biscuits.
Obama Administration worried about Cameron effect in Europe.
Cholera breaks out in Zimbabwe again amid fears of an epidemic in summer rains.
At least six killed in Pakistan as suicide bombs shatter Islamabad campus.
Terrorism “Justified” Against White South Africans: UK Foreign Secretary
Best Short Joke........
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
H/T Paul B
Obamam's Call to Worship
"The Most Beautiful Sound on Earth"
CAIR EXPOSED: A new book reveals the secret Muslim underworld that’s conspiring to Islamize America
Hollywood Joins Obama in Taking Control. Of You.
Media Matters in Lockstep with White House Muezzin
"Nine months into the Obama Administration, the White House communications strategy is coming into clear focus. Demonize, harass and ultimately aim to silence opposition, while endlessly repeating the administration line, with the full cooperation of the old media." Robert Bonelli
Jobs, eh? "Stimulus II is, and Stimulus III would be, primarily designed to save a few dozen jobs — those of Democratic members of the House and Senate." George Will
Steve McCann: Divide and Conquer
Trussed and Obedient at Washington Rebel
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"Gone WILD" pic attached..............from Rico
NO. Get your mind off Snoop Dogg's "Girls Gone Wild" shtick!
This time it's the Fed Gone Wild.
- Take a look at this pic! It's fuglier than Harry Pelosi in a bikini, and no amount of botox can 'fix' this...even temporarily!
This is exactly why the US Dollar no longer has any significant upside left.
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Night Patrol.........
Providing some local security to his dismounted forward observer party during the last light of the day, NT-Police Officer and Army Reserve Bombardier Bradley Wooten from the 101st Medium Battery at Mount Bundey in the Northern Territory scopes his surrounds.
Borrowed from Rogue Gunner
A REMARKABLE COINCIDENCE
Monday night, driving down the Great American Highway in a brand new Dodge Charger, just passed a sign that tells me I'm on a remnant of the historic Route 66 somewhere northern Illinois, Elvis on the satellite radio singing Unchained Melody, when suddenly my phone rings. It's Kleck, the mad German bombmaker I haven't laid eyes on in about twenty years.
This is all the more remarkable because I don't BELIEVE in coincidences of course . . .
. . . STORMBRINGER
Pros and cons of large breasts.......
Women with large breasts…
* can get a taxi on the worst days
* have men give them the best seats on a bus.
* have a neat place to carry spare change
* have always been the center of the arts
* make jogging a spectator sport
* can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
* have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
* usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
* can always carry a little extra cash
* always float better
* know where to look first for lost earrings
* rarely lack for a slow dance partner
* have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
* never have to buy a car with airbags
* have a place to carry a extra beer
Women with small breasts…
* don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
* always look younger
* find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
* can always see their toes and shoes
* can sleep on their stomachs
* have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
* know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
* know that everything more than a handful is wasted
* can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
* can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out
* never be accused of having implants.
H/T DML
Russian General.......
At the Russian military academy, a general gave a lecture on "Potential Problems and Military Strategy." At the end of the lecture, he asked if
there were any questions.
An officer stood up and asked, "Will there be a third world war? Will
Russia take part in it?"
The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
The officer asked, "Who will be the enemy?"
The general replied, "All indications point to China ."
All in the audience were shocked. The officer asks, "General, we are only 150 million. There are 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all?"
The general answered, "Just think about this. In modern warfare, it is not the quantity that matters but the quality. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious."
After a small pause, the officer asked, "Do we have enough Jews???"
H/T Shelly
News...........
The Lost Art of Due Diligence.
Only Idiots Listen to these "Leaders".
Debris Plume Spotted in 'Moon Bombing'.
Apropos Nobel Peace Prize.
No Winner for $5 Million African Leadership Prize.
Persistent criminals could escape trial under new CPS guidelines.
Barack Obama may attend Copenhagen summit if there is climate change progress.
'Grow your own body parts' could herald in the age of the active centenarian.
Armed Forces families given dirty, badly-maintained homes, audit finds.
Hamid Karzai refuses to accept being stripped of Afghanistan election win.
Pakistan plans to overwhelm Taliban within two weeks.
Iran threatens revenge against Britain over bombing.
White House aide says Barack Obama team 'controlled' the media.
Lioness attacks buffalo, creating traffic jam in South Africa.
Generals join forces to resist 'hijacking' by BNP.
Kremlin rigged Russia’s regional elections, says Mikhail Gorbachev.
Violence threatens Barack Obama’s pledge to pull troops out of Iraq.
Nasa rolls out Ares 1-X, successor to the shuttle — but will Obama let it fly?
Obama offers incentives to Sudan Government to end Darfur ‘genocide’.
and finally....
Doc's Computin' Tips: Tweaking Vista
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