Thursday, 26 November 2009
what Larry the Cable Guy has to say about Nebraska ...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Nebraska .
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Nebraska .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Nebraska .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Nebraska .
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of GRAND ISLAND for the weekend, you live in Nebraska .
If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Nebraska .
If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Nebraska .
If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Nebraska .
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Nebraska .
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Nebraska
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Nebraska .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Nebraska .
If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Nebraska .
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Nebraska .
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Nebraska .
If you have more hours on your snow blower than miles on your car, you live in Nebraska ..
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Nebraska .
If you understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Nebraska friends & others, you actually have lived in Nebraska .
H/T Kenneth
Fall Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Thursday November 26, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued.
H/T Pete H
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News........
81-Year-Old takes a flight in his homemade WW Fighter II
Unstoppable China
Apology after learner tank driver crashes into garden
Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Nov.25 2009
A Three Beers Later Thanksgiving Special!
WW II Battleship Sailor tells Obama to shape up or ship out
Priceless? Well No, Actually: Campus Occupations Could Cost UC Hundreds of Thousands
Aerial photographs taken during reconnaissance missions in World War 2
MoD bonus pot is £60m for civil servants this year
CIA used famous magician for his tricks during the Cold War
White House state dinner gate-crashed by reality TV wannabes
Baroness Ashton denies taking funds for CND from Soviet Union
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian President, gets hero's welcome in Venezuela
Obama Breaks A Promise to Britain
Did Obama Steal the Election?
Best Buh-Bye?
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
OOPs ! ! !
Meet Navy Lt. Kara Wade
a.k.a. Jessica Biel
Now read how STORMBRINGER really stepped in it this time . . .
Every once in a while in life you run into a genius with true talent......
H/T Rodney
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
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News..........
Thanks to the Troops!
Another Eurosocialist Success Story -- Paddy Goes A-Begging!
The former British police officer who wants to bring down Barack Obama
CRU Hack/Leak Round-Up #2
4 Lessons Learned From the Health Care Vote On Saturday
All 193% of Republicans Support Palin, Romney and Huckabee
Navy SEALs Face Assault Charges for Capturing Most-Wanted Terrorist
Iraq inquiry: Britain rejected regime change as illegal in 2001
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: US and Israel 'don't have the courage' to attack Iran
Kim Jong-il bans World Cup coverage - unless North Korea win
Jetman attempts first intercontinental flight
US expects Nato to join troop buildup, Pentagon says
Feral camels terrorise Australian Outback community
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