H/T M Kohl
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Coming Soon: VBS TV - The Vice Guide to Liberia.
Launch date 19 Jan
Last year, VICE founder Shane Smith and Editor Andy Capper, visited Liberia’s capital, Monrovia, to meet three men who participated in the 14 years of civil war. One of the men giving us a guided tour is Joshua Blahyi, aka General Butt Naked, an ex-war lord famed for forcing his soldiers to fight wearing nothing but shoes. Blahyi admits to killing more than 20,000 people and drinking the blood of children, but now spends his time preaching about his quest for forgiveness.
News..........
Swine flu is ‘one of the greatest medical scandals of the century’ says eminent epidemiologist
Five Luton men found guilty after abusive chants at soldiers
Christmas Flight Bomber Was 'singing Like a Canary' Before Being Advised of His Right to Silence
Obama Grants Interpol Full Diplomatic Immunity And Makes Them no Longer Subject to FOIA Requests
Middle class professionals such as doctors, dentists, lawyers in tax evasion crackdown
5,000 soldiers and officers 'unfit to fight on the front line'
Sarah Palin signs on as Fox News commentator
Half of employers 'reject potential worker after look at Facebook page'
Wootton Bassett protest group Islam4UK to be banned
China tests new technology to shoot down missiles in mid-air
Yemeni officials admit they are losing the battle against al-Qaeda
Commuters brave cold for 'No Pants Day'
Remote-controlled bomb kills Iranian professor
Guinea under international diplomatic pressure
Jordanians question alliance with US after Humam al-Balawi’s CIA suicide bombing
and finally....
10 Facts I’ve Learned About Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer
Judicial Watch Announces List of Washington's "Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians" for 2009
Oz firm seeks talented IT developer 'SQL server experience, DD cup breasts'
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Stuff Women Really Need To Know About Men
Women might be a mystery to men, we all admit that, but, in order for us to get along well, there are a few things that they should know about men too:
1. If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
2. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
* Unless the answer is yes.
* In which case, can he videotape it?
3. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
4. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to our manhood.
5. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
6. It is only common courtesy to leave the toilet seat up when you’re done.
7. If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
8. The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
9. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
10. Don’t hog the covers. Really.
11. If he has to sit through “Legends of the Fall”, you have to sit through “Showgirls”.
12. “Fine.” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
13. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.
14. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.
15. Of course he wants another beer.
16. The guy doesn’t always have to sleep on the wet spot.
17. Dogs good. Cats bad. Grrrrrrr….
18. He does not want to be just friends.
19. Do not question a man’s innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.
20. He was not looking at that other girl.
* Well, okay… maybe a little.
* Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
21. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. a) And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.
22. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
23. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.
24. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.
25. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
26. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.
27. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Did I mention Love it?
28. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
29. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
30. He heard you the first time. Honest.
31. You know, you can ask him out too… Let’s spread the rejection around a little.
32. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.
33. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you’re with.
34. Of course size matters, and boy does he has the grandaddy of them all.
35. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.
36. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the halftime show to act upon that.
H/T DML
Video: The drunk belgian minister
The video of the Minister of Pensions Michel Daerden, a character in the belgian governement, whilst he elaborates about the progress he made, visibly drunk!
H/T Filippo
Monday, 11 January 2010
The grassroots Tea Party event that ain't...
TPM has a good piece on the $550 a head "grassroots" conference in Nashville. Palin and Bachman are speaking, but the grassroots aren't really buying into the whole thing. Palin foolishly is blowing off CPAC for this faux grassroots event. Not exactly sure if it will do her reputation in the grassroots very good. To me the Nashville thing smacks of another attempt by the Republicans to hijack the movement for their own ends. It really worries me for the future of their party that their attempts at doing this are so constantly cack-handed.
QUEEN OF THE TROLLS
What . . . IS . . .
. . . IT ? ? ?
Troll Threat Brief . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .STORMBRINGER
Thought for the Day........
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich ..
H/T Martin
Chump CHANGE...........from Rico
More CHANGE you can 'keep' or 'believe in' it's up to you...until and unless the current regime makes it mandatory!
Yes, more "annuities" talk (as in 401k's-IRA's, Obamunists). Be wary. Be aware!
1. As a rule, the very worst possible time to convert lump-sum savings into a fixed-income annuity* is when interest rates are LOW (like now).
2. The above is very like buying long-ter bonds when interest rates are likely to increase. Your 'fixed' earnings are doubly eroded by inflation.
3. So WHY would the Obaa-Soetero administration 'float' the notion that this is 'somehow' a good idea for Americans?
- Well if they didn't like, respect, or care about Americans it all makes perfect sense!
*Like Social Security, an annuity (like an R-annuity you'll be hearing about soon) guarantees income until your death but reverts back to the government. You do not "own" your money, and neither do your heirs.
- What a clever way to 'shift' ownership of YOUR money into the hands of gooberment!
HEY!!! Look at the grouse!!!
Because your ;oliticians and governent care for you. Yeah. Right.
KEEP the CHANGE!
TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK
- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport
as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule
and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said,
'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.'
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physiques will follow.
H/T Casasquirrels
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News.......
100 Incredible & Educational Virtual Tours You Don’t Want to Miss
Redneck REEEEligion!
Real U.S. Unemployment Rate? 17.3%
U.S. Has Contingency Plan for Dealing With Iran, Petraeus Says
"You want the truth? you can't handle the truth." ... simple as that.
Imams Issue Fatwa Against Terrorist Attacks on North America
Sunk Australia WWII hospital ship Centaur: first images
Faith schools facing admissions curb
Al-Qaeda veterans 'are flooding into Yemen'
Religious violence in Malaysia escalates as more churches attacked
McDonald's launches study into flatulent cows used in its burgers
Health and safety experts warn: don't clear icy pavements, you could get sued
Sir Jock Stirrup's 'dead meat' over Afghanistan
US drones collecting 'too much information'
British forces could be replaced by US troops in Helmand
Iranian parliament says Ahmadinejad’s ally is to blame for deaths
Analysis: fight over tiny oil-rich enclave
and finally......
Why I Subscribe To The Local Newspaper
The 11 most inept TV heroes of all time
Forgetting Communism’s Evils
Surely they're joking!.........from Rico
Sadly, they are NOT joking.
The latest brainfart to emanate from the Obma-Soetero Mis-adminsitration is the idea to "annuitize" 401K's-IRA's. [Read: the Gov't wants to take your retirement money in exchange for, say a 2.5% return (less 'fees') as a new source of funding for a too-big-to-function government and all of the bailouts you've been benefitting from.]
The idea is wrapped in an enticing "we don't want people to run out of money in retirement" fig leaf, but make no mistake.....the idea is simply "hey, we're broke but those shnooks still have a few bucks left so let's shake them down for it! They'll swallow THIS!
- Never mind that Social Security has been bankrupted and bled-dry of cash, or that we're wrecking Medicare/Medicaid in the name of Helath Care Reform. Yup! Government has done SO well with all of its programs over the years that surely we can trust them with another one involving TRUSTING THEM WITH OUR RETIREMENT MONEY!
There is no longer any sense of shame left in Washington. Neither is there ANY good intention towards the population outside the beltway and this government parasite we are now faced with.
Well, I'm Taxed Enough Already...and you can "annuitize THIS" you crooked assholes
Economic Indicators........
1. The economy is so bad... that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. The economy is so bad... I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
3. The economy is so bad... that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. The economy is so bad... if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5. The economy is so bad... Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
6. The economy is so bad... McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. The economy is so bad... parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names..
8. The economy is so bad... a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico..
9. The economy is so bad... Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. The economy is so bad... Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
11. The economy is so bad... the Mafia is laying off judges.
12. The economy is so bad... Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
H/T DML
Sunday, 10 January 2010
AN OLD FARMERS ADVICE FOR 2010
Old Farmer's Advice:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..
Live simply . . . Love generously . . . Care deeply . . . Speak kindly . . . and don't never pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill
you.
Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come and pull your ass out of the bind you've gotten yourself in.
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