. . . . . . . . . . . . . STORMBRINGER
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Irish Virginity Test Kit..........
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things from a DIY shop: a can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel.'
Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?'
The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her with the shovel.'
H/T Old Dude
Visit to the Dr.
A flat chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr Smith advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest say 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months! To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?' 'Yes I am……… How did you know?' He winked and whispered, ' Hickory dickory dock...'
H/T AJD
THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY...
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into
her Grandpa's room....
"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the
room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog - because Grandma said that as soon as you croak,
we're all going to Disneyland !!!"
H/T Casasquirrels
News........
Guy Earle v. Complete Societal Breakdown
The Most Important Story You Didn't See Last Week (and Probably Won't Ever See)
Inventor unveils $7,000 talking sex robot
Barack Obama: "George Bush has been sneaking back into Washington...
Swimwear record attempt trial run
Government too slow to respond to terrorism threat
Third of British 2012 Olympic athletes privately educated
Heart Attack restuarant owner sues Heart Stoppers owner over theme
Berlusconi says Israel should be an EU member
China attacks US 'Cold War' mentality over Taiwan arms sales
Carriers versus tanks: Royal Navy joins battle for resources
School creep's detention haul
Amazongate: new evidence of the IPCC's failures
and finally......
Unreality’s Top 15 Best Lists of the Year
Rutgers sorority girls arrested for spanking pledges
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Change THIS!..............from Rico
"No nation has ever PRINTED its way to prosperity, BORROWED its way to prosperity, or
SPENT its way to prosperity."
"Hope" all you want, but this will NOT "Change."
Golf Sayings......
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie..
~ Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis
Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best
~ Jack Nicklaus
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H G Wells
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf..
~ Bob Hope
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball..
~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work..
~ Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
H/T Shelly
Video: Bing West: Finishing Firefights Difficult in Afghanistan
Francis J. 'Bing' West is a Correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly. He served as Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Affairs in the Reagan administration. In Vietnam, he w More..as a member of the Marine Force Recon team that initiated Operation Stingray - sustained attacks behind enemy lines.
Video: Strange Environmentalist Bed Fellows
A lot of people came out against Global Warming last week like Leonardo DiCaprio and a group called "This Is Our Moment" came out with a nifty PSA pushing for Cap and Trade, and oddly enough so did Osama Bin Laden?!
The fact that Leonardo, Obama and now Osama want to pass Cap and Trade just maybe shows us what the ultimate goal of the bill is, as Osama put it "to bring the wheels of the American Economy to a halt".
I wonder if Hollywood will include Osama in their next PSA? If they did it could probably look something like this.
SEVEN PILLARS OF WISDOM
What are the tactics of the Muslim Brotherhood in their strategy to take over the world?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . STORMBRINGER
To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1.. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS
Monday, 1 February 2010
U.S. INVESTIGATING BLACKWATER BRIBERY CLAIMS IN IRAQ
The Obama Administration's war against Blackwater continues . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . STORMBRINGER
Green shoots or Galoshes?.............from Rico
Recovery? Green shoots of?
The economy cannot function without jobs. Having lost jobs for 24 consecutive months, with unemployment and underemployment at 'unprecedented' highs (over 20%), how anyone can claim we have a recovery is ludicrous. How anyone can believe these preposterous claims is....well, frankly stupid.
Having a paying job is the bedrock of this economy. There can be no recovery without jobs.
The number of States that are 'broke' and have to 'borrow' unemployment funds from the Federal Gov't belies any crazy talk about "recovery"...one is better reaching for the galoshes. The crap spewing forth from the gooberment and the MSM is piling up pretty quickly and deeply!
- Galoshes it is!
News........
Partnering
by DJ Elliott
Last of Great Escape camp PoWs return for recreated long march
David Cameron: burglars leave human rights at the door
Barack Obama to forecast $1.6 trillion deficit in budget
US bolsters defences of Iran's Gulf neighbours
Austrian army withdraws 'sexist' tank advert
Secret airstrip built at Zimbabwe diamond field
Taiwan seeks submarines and fighter jets from US
Climate chief was told of false glacier claims before Copenhagen
and finally.......
Whither Tea Party?: "Do You Hear Me Now?"
2010's Coolest Gadgets Revealed (NSFW)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Oxymorons......
50. Act naturally
49. Found missing
48. Resident alien
47. Advanced BASIC
46. Genuine imitation
45. Airline food
44. Good grief
43. Same difference
42. Almost exactly
41. Government organization
40. Sanitary landfill
39. Alone together
38. Legally drunk
37. Silent scream
36. British fashion
35. Living dead
34. Small crowd
33. Business ethics
32. Soft rock
31. Butt head
30. Military intelligence
29. Software documentation
28. New York culture
27. Extinct life
26. Sweet sorrow
25. Childproof
24. “Now, then…”
23. Synthetic natural gas
22. Christian scientists
21. Passive aggression
20. Taped live
19. Clearly misunderstood
18. Peace force
17. New classic
16. Temporary tax increase
15. French bravery
14. Plastic glasses
13. Terribly pleased
12. Computer security
11. Political science
10. Tight slacks
9. Definite maybe
8. Pretty ugly
7. Twelve-ounce pound cake
6. Diet ice cream
5. Rap music
4. Working holiday
3. Exact estimate
2. Religious tolerance
And the NUMBER ONE top Oxymoron
1. Microsoft Works
H/T DML
Dominoes............from Rico
WRT to Greek problem, Barcleh's did a nice flow chart of it. Essentially, the watershed will likely be whether the EU or the IMF handle the Greek bailout.
BUT we should be looking further afield. There are even bigger problems. California...with a GDP many times the size of Greece... is broke and may have to look to the US Federal gub'mint, which is also broke.
So, while economies in the EUrozone may follow Greece like dominoes, think what will happen if the California (the Michigan, then...) domino falls over?
"I promise 100% transparency in my administration."
"I promise NO NEW TAXES on a family making less than $250K a year."
"I will allow 5 days of public comment before I sign any bills."
"I will remove earmarks for PORK projects before I sign any bill."
"I will end Income Tax for seniors making less than $50K a year."
"I'll put the Health Care negotiations on CSPN so everyone can see who is at the table."
H/T Martin
73 MEN SAILED FROM THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY
"Ride, Captain, ride, upon your mystery ship . . ."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . STORMBRINGER
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
