More IDF Women at DoubleTapper
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
QUIZ FOR PEOPLE WHO KNOW EVERYTHING.........
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.
Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Scroll down for answers (Just below the Superbowl ad)
H/T Pete H
Serious Snowblowing.........
Photos by Mel Wilson
"These photos were taken on the Bellwood Subdivision, between Seward and David City, Nebraska on the BNSF RR. Seward is about 25 miles west of Lincoln, on the Ravenna Sub. A few blizzards and sub zero temperatures coupled with moderate winds made for a beautiful, but, flash frozen environment. A freight train was snowed in at David City and a rotary snow plow was sent to clear the track of drifts that varied from 6ft or less up to 12ft in spots!! The photos were taken on Jan. 8th through Jan. 10th, spent on my birthday weekend."
H/T Canis 61
Answers To Quiz:
1... The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle.
The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellip ses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
News.......
How unmanned drones are changing modern warfare
Academy chapel to add outdoor circle to worship areas
Why I'm speaking at Tea Party convention by Sarah Palin
City still waiting for reimbursement from Obama's 2008 visit
Obama Deficits Could Weaken American Power
Generals and admirals to be culled in defence cuts
Police earn £100 overtime for answering phone
Iran 'ready to accept uranium deal'
Australian banker caught ogling nearly naked model 'sacked'
Helicopter-maker Sikorsky to build pilotless Black Hawk
Britain facing food crisis as world's soil 'vanishes in 60 years'
Russia and US 'agree to nuclear deal'
Saudi Arabia cracksdown on motorcycle gangs in holy city of Mecca
UK 'could face power shortages'
and finally.....
The Making of the 2010 Pirelli Calendar by Terry Richardson (NSFW)
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Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Irish Virginity Test Kit..........
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things from a DIY shop: a can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel.'
Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?'
The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her with the shovel.'
H/T Old Dude
Visit to the Dr.
A flat chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr Smith advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest say 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months! To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?' 'Yes I am……… How did you know?' He winked and whispered, ' Hickory dickory dock...'
H/T AJD
THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY...
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into
her Grandpa's room....
"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the
room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog - because Grandma said that as soon as you croak,
we're all going to Disneyland !!!"
H/T Casasquirrels
News........
Guy Earle v. Complete Societal Breakdown
The Most Important Story You Didn't See Last Week (and Probably Won't Ever See)
Inventor unveils $7,000 talking sex robot
Barack Obama: "George Bush has been sneaking back into Washington...
Swimwear record attempt trial run
Government too slow to respond to terrorism threat
Third of British 2012 Olympic athletes privately educated
Heart Attack restuarant owner sues Heart Stoppers owner over theme
Berlusconi says Israel should be an EU member
China attacks US 'Cold War' mentality over Taiwan arms sales
Carriers versus tanks: Royal Navy joins battle for resources
School creep's detention haul
Amazongate: new evidence of the IPCC's failures
and finally......
Unreality’s Top 15 Best Lists of the Year
Rutgers sorority girls arrested for spanking pledges
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Change THIS!..............from Rico
"No nation has ever PRINTED its way to prosperity, BORROWED its way to prosperity, or
SPENT its way to prosperity."
"Hope" all you want, but this will NOT "Change."
Golf Sayings......
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie..
~ Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis
Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best
~ Jack Nicklaus
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H G Wells
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf..
~ Bob Hope
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball..
~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work..
~ Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
H/T Shelly
Video: Bing West: Finishing Firefights Difficult in Afghanistan
Francis J. 'Bing' West is a Correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly. He served as Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Affairs in the Reagan administration. In Vietnam, he w More..as a member of the Marine Force Recon team that initiated Operation Stingray - sustained attacks behind enemy lines.
Video: Strange Environmentalist Bed Fellows
A lot of people came out against Global Warming last week like Leonardo DiCaprio and a group called "This Is Our Moment" came out with a nifty PSA pushing for Cap and Trade, and oddly enough so did Osama Bin Laden?!
The fact that Leonardo, Obama and now Osama want to pass Cap and Trade just maybe shows us what the ultimate goal of the bill is, as Osama put it "to bring the wheels of the American Economy to a halt".
I wonder if Hollywood will include Osama in their next PSA? If they did it could probably look something like this.
SEVEN PILLARS OF WISDOM
What are the tactics of the Muslim Brotherhood in their strategy to take over the world?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . STORMBRINGER
To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1.. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS
Monday, 1 February 2010
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