Tuesday, 7 October 2008
You're an EXTREME redneck when...
1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines" or "Play ball".
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
H/T Shelly
Light News...
Nato commanders to draw up plans to defend ex-Soviet bloc members from Russia. A wise precaution, although most NATO members are incapable or reluctant to deploy anywhere.
Israel 'may bomb Iran' if Russia sells missile system. Well someone's got to.
Pakistan facing bankruptcy. More bloody problems in Pakistan.
Russia to test fire cruise missiles for first time since 1984. From planes dating from 1984 and earlier.
Gloves off as John McCain lands Barack Obama 'lie' jibe . About time too. There is no such thing as a clean fight when Democrats are involved.
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Monday, 6 October 2008
An effing disgrace....
Armed forces bosses spend £230 million on hotels and dining. Heads must roll for this.
News....
Prince Harry in 'secret return to either Afghanistan or Iraq war zones'. Will somebody kindly tell the Daily Mail thr definition of 'secret'.
Last survivor of battle cruiser HMS Hood in the Second World War has died at the age of 85. A lucky man. A sad loss.
Republicans ask officials to probe Barack Obama 'illegal contributions'. They can also start looking at the Democrats attempts at ballot rigging.
Somali pirates: Islamist insurgents demand weapons from hijacked ship. Now why would they want tanks?
British woman skydiver conquers Everest. Brave lass.
Russia's warships head for exercise with Venezuelan navy. Venezuela has a navy!
Robert Mugabe’s marauders seize their last chance to grab white farms. Nothing has changed in Zimbabwe and nothing will until Mugabe and his cronies are dead.
Cap’n Roman Abramovich builds his Bismarck. Another boat for his flotilla.
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Obama's Arrogance Just Became A Nightmare.....
....he is unfit to be Commander in Chief.
H/T Mark Scott
Sunday, 5 October 2008
The Sunday Best....
The farm chickens come home to roost. A Zimbabwe land grabber gets a taste of her own medicine.
City Council advises letting thieves have their way. How effing stupid are these people.
Iraqi Security Forces Order of Battle: October 2008 update. by DJ Elliott
Blunkett set to return to Cabinet as Mandy wrecks Miliband's leadership bid. The crooks and cretins are back.
Free: The headmaster's killer we cannot deport in case we breach his right to a 'family life'. And you wonder why we need the death penalty restored.
War in Afghanistan 'cannot be won', British commander warns. Prat. All we have to do is wipe them of the face of the earth by any means necessary.
Sarah Palin: Barack Obama 'palling around with terrorists'. Good girl.
Cheerleaders are risking serious injury and death to support their teams. But it is worth it!
Police spend eight minutes an hour on beat. That many!
Government will spy on every call and e-mail. Are they now. George Orwell was way off the mark, soon we will need government permission to take a dump.
Britons accused over roadside bomb network. Hunt them down and kill them.
Somali pirates vow to stand and fight. Then they will die.
Hillary Clinton praises Sarah Palin. Hee hee. The Clintons are not going to let go of their White House plans yet.
Relentless Taliban just keep coming. And they keep on dying. We must hit them at their bases in Pakistan. What other reason is there for MOAB.
British Ambassador Sir Nigel Sheinwald called Barack Obama 'liberal'. I prefer 'F**King Commie'.
The Clarkypoos bit....
Fingers on buzzers, you bunch of ignorant twerps. The crappiness of British TV.
Chrysler Sebring Cabriolet 2.7 V6. I don't think he likes it.
..and a spot of May
James May: One helmet law for all
Following the demise of Northern Rock, Lehman Brothers, HBOS and the Bradford and Bingley, the banking crisis has hit Japan.
In the past three days, the Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank has decided to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is to be sold and is likely to go for a song while, today, Kamikaze Bank shares were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank has announced that it will soldier on but deep cuts are expected and Ninja Bank says it has taken a big hit but remains in the black.
500 staff at the Karate Bank will get the chop and analysts report something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where investors are expecting a raw deal.
H/Ts Andi B & Terry Wogan
Q: What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a cross country run?
A: One is a pant in the country, the other is a ...
H/T Old Dude
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