Dutch politician Geert Wilders to be deported after being refused entry to Britain.
Today freedom of speech was squashed under the twin jack-boots of Islamic Extremism and the Sociaist State.
I, P. Niss, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
..............................................
The Response
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task..
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
H/T Shelly
Newseum which shows you the front pages from newspapers all over the world.
H/Ts Shelly & Old Dude
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; One from Illinois, one from Tennessee, and a third from Kentucky. They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700.' The official, incredulous, whispers back, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
The Illinois contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.'
'Done!' replies the government official.
And that my friends, is how it all works ! !
H/T Old Dude
Col. Joseph Martin, commander, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Multi-National Division – Baghdad, hits the first ball at the grand-opening of the “Dagger” driving range on Camp Liberty, Feb. 8. The Dearborn, Mich., native christened the range as a way for Soldiers to unwind in their free-time.
These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
H/T Shelly
"The wide-open arms" Canada is offering to Mexican illegals from the US.
H/T Pete Hurrell
...this pretty much sums up the state of Britain today. As Brown plays with this Nations future, and mortgages it for the next decade at least, it's worth reading a very poignant quote written by the late Dr Adrian Rogers:
"What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
The Government cannot give to anybody anything that the Government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for; that, my dear friend, is about the end of any Nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!" - Dr Adrian Rogers.
H/T Rodney
How Britain, the cradle of liberty, is sleepwalking towards cultural suicide....Melanie Phillips on the death of Britain.
Party boy who grew up: City worker who once holidayed with William and Harry describes his terrifying life on the front line. A good piece from the front.
D-Day veterans turned down for bank account. Lloyds should immeadiately pay back the money the government gave it. If it cannot then put them out of business.
City watchdog admits: We warned HBOS over risky business years ago. But did Gordon know? Of course he did.
Meet Labour's City cronies: The roll call of bankers rewarded by Brown and Blair. Crooks cretins and cronies the lot of them. Just watch the same thing happen in the states.
Prince Harry sent on equality training after 'Paki' race slur. Oh piffle.
Russian and US satellites collide. Accident?
Supermarket refused to sell cigarettes to 59-year-old man on a Zimmer because he had no ID. Just who or what are Tesco hiring as staff!
Axe falls on St George: Parade is halted after council says it attracts racist thugs. Absolute crap. They had better ban England supporters from Wembley and Twickers then. Labour are pathetic.
Scots council tax frozen, but rates in England rise. No surprises there.
The Domino's branch where you can't get a pepperoni pizza - because they only do halal. Oh for f**ks sake.
Oldest milkman on the job since World War 2. Everyone should have a milkman and insist on buying British milk preferably Gold Top.
Zimbabwe: Morgan Tsvangirai challenges Robert Mugabe after he becomes PM. Wishful thinking.
European officials warned of 'interns trading sex for secrets'. The EU has secrets!!
Warrant to be issued for Sudanese President over alleged Darfur genocide. And a fat lot of good it will do.
No criminal charges for peers in sleaze row. Just shows how corrupt the state and police have become.
Michelle Obama displays her love of fashion as Vogue's cover star. You still cannot make a silk purse......
Why Obama Wants Control of the Census. It's called ballot rigging. How many 'new' citizens will be added to the census by the crooks in the Democrat party.
Retribution for Mughniyah: A Dish Served Cold? Like Hamas, Hezbollah must be destroyed.
It's illegal to eat your vote, Venezuelans told. Why? It is not as if it will count for much. Chavez is another master of ballot rigging.
United States of Argentina. A warning for us all.
Muslim peer leading opposition to visit ince invited Al Qaeda terror suspect to Parliament. Who did he pay to get his peerage?
Village fury over £8,000 to be spent teaching Romany songs to schoolchildren. The gypos should be moved, by force if necessary.
Every email and call will be stored under new law. Why? Effing Labour and their big brother bullyboy bulls**t.
'Let them arrest me': Dutch MP vows to defy Home Office ban and fly to Britain to show anti-Islam film.
You mean this itty bitty little film.....
H/T Pete Hurrell
'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'
'Okay then,' Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't
have been bigger than the a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the
nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor.
Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.
'I'm so sorry,' said the nurse. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor
as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what
seems to be the problem?'
'...It's swollen,' Fred replied.
H/T Pete Hurrell
Murphy's Law, the Peter Principle and Barack Obama.
Emails from my Wall St. friends at Maggie's Farm
Of Tight Lips, Bleeding Hearts and Leakage....from Jules.
Video: Timeline shows Bush, McCain warning Dems of financial and housing crisis; meltdown
Just remember it was socialist politicians in the UK and US that got us into this mess. Sooner or later they are going to pay for it.
and finally....
Sanitizing atrocity serves only Taliban's interests.
Labour has already pulled the same stunt over here.
H/T Canis 61
Also: RIGHT BEFORE THE ELECTION OF PRESIDENT HUSSEIN:
"A $550 Billion Electronic Run on the Banks" Sounds like Soros.
£1bn 'spy jets' join RAF squadron. About time we got some new kit.
ASTOR Sentinel R1 Airborne Stand-Off Radar. For those who want the technical bit.
H/T Mark Scott
'A good plane landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.'
H/T DML
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Khalifa-Bin-Zayed's ROYAL Yacht
H/T Peter Gunn
Virgin Atlantic cabin crew ad 'is sexist and offensive to women', claim viewers.
I wonder what the 'viewers' would make of this one. (NSFW-ish)
Judges tell state to free thousands of inmates. In California not Britain. Although it is not much different here.
F-22 Design Shows More Than Expected. We could do with a couple of squadrons of them.
Revenge of the whistleblower: HBOS executive sacked and gagged for warning of disaster reveals truth to MPs. Time for heads to roll. Starting with Brown.
Terror law overkill? Police stop 180,000 people under draconian laws but only 255 arrested. Stupid laws enforced by stupid people.
As dole queue hits 2million, job centres say: Go to Europe for 31p an hour. The figures have been bent by Labour the true figure is much higher.
Fury over 'stitch-up' as Jacqui Smith escapes sleaze investigation into £116,000 second home claim. Not many more nails to go in Labour's coffin.
Britain's a world-leader in sharia banking - but we haven't grasped the sinister and dangerous implications. We are heading towards a disaster.
Jackboot Jacqui... our 'Second Home' Secretary. She is finished as a politician.
Shiny chin to the fore Miss Piggy struts into Parliament. More on our Home Office Hog.
Audrey Hepburn beats Angelina Jolie to title of ultimate Hollywood beauty. Couldn't agree more. She was stunning.
Church of England votes to ban clergy from joining BNP. The C of E is a joke. It is infested with limpdick liberals who want to foist their perverted ideals on the rest of us.
Morgan Tsvangirai appoints Zimbabwe cabinet. He can appoint who he likes but while Mugabe is alive there will be no changes.
Controversial anti-Muslim MP banned from the UK because of public order fears. Freedom of speech is dead in the UK.
Female FBI officer 'tortured Mumbai terror attacks suspect with sex'. In his fantasies!
Zimbabwe dollar dead, says top economist. Without a currency Zim is f**ked.
Plunging oil prices threaten Chavez revolution as vote looms. He is on the way out. Expect a military coup soon.
Now Home Office drugs adviser wants to downgrade LSD from A to B. Sack the asshole.
Pakistan will be a stern test of Washington's 'smart power'. And Hillary is on point. This should go tits up really quick.
Submarine crew fought to save trapped sailors under Arctic ice. Wow.
Italians get collywobbles over broccoli. Battle of the Brassicas.
US launches spy operation over North Korea. But does Obama have the balls to face down the North Koreans.
Iranian mob attacks moderate ex-president Mohammed Khatami on anniversary. The hardliners have got to be removed by any means necessary.
Zimbabwe is caught in a classic Catch-22. Pretty much sums up the situation. Tsvangirai should 'invite' western troops to help spread the aid. They can nobble Mugabe on the way past.
Hillary’s incredible, shrinking role. How long before she starts to undermine Obambi?
and finally a must see.
Rep. Gary Ackerman's Attack on SEC (H/T Jonathan)
...following the example that other great marxist muppet Mugabe.
New $2 trillion plan to rescue US banking system.
H/T Chad
1st Hillbilly: “My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air conditioner.”
2nd Hillbilly: “Why is that stupid?”
1st Hillbilly: “We ain’t got no ‘lectricity!”
2nd Hillbilly: “That’s nothin’! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin’ machines!”
1st Hillbilly: “Why is that so stupid?”
2nd Hillbilly: “Cause we ain’t got no plummin’!”
3rd Hillbilly: “That ain’t nuthin’! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin’ fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.”
1st and 2nd Hillbillies: “Well what’s so dumb about that?”
3rd Hillbilly: “She ain’t got no pecker."
H/T DML
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