An old man and his ever nagging wife decide to go to Jerusalem for there 60th wedding anniversary.
While on vacation the old mans wife dies.
He goes down to the funeral director who tells him that for $500 he can have his wife buried in the Holy Land but shipping her back to America would cost $5000.
The man says he would like her remains sent back to America, when the funeral director questioned this, the old man replyed.
"Once, along time ago, there was a man who died here and three days later rose from his grave.
I just can't take that chance."
H/T Thomas Harris
Sunday 24 February 2008
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Jewish wife phones her mum.
"Mum I'm geddin' a divorce."
"Why - you gotta rich husband, beautiful house, pool, a lovely car ?"
The daughter ponders this a while "But mum, it's the anal sex. When I first married I had an anus the size of a 5 pence piece - now it's the size of a FIFTY pence piece !"
The mother replies "So you're gonna give it all up ... for forty five pee ???"
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