They were on the bridge of a warship on joint manoeuvres in mid-Atlantic, arguing about "what is courage?"
The American admiral declared: "I'll show you. Seaman Bush - climb to the top of the mast, and dive into the sea!"
Knowing he faced almost certain death, he carried out the order and disappeared beneath the waves. "That's what we call courage," smirked the Yank.
The Russian admiral retorted: "That's nothing. He could have survived. Seaman Kalashnikov, climb the mast and dive down the funnel!"
He saluted, and did his duty. "That's what we call courage," grunted the Russkie.
The British admiral ordered Able Seaman Smith: "Climb the mast, and dive on to the deck - right here in front of us."
The matelot replied: "Begging your pardon, sir, **** off!"
"That's what we call courage," smiled the Brit.
In a funny kind of way, that tells you everything about being British. Especially why we don't need to swear allegiance to Queen and country, as the government proposes.
Patriotism is natural, handed down the generations in our genes - not something you acquire from politicians. Paul Routledge 2008.
H/T Liz B
Monday, 17 March 2008
Have you heard the one about the British admiral, the American admiral and the Russian admiral?
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6 comments:
Reminds me of the story of a briefing being given to some Gurkhas before their first parachute jump. They were told they would be jumping from 1000 feet. They looked distinctly unhappy and eventually one of them was persuaded to come forward and ask the briefing officer if they could make that 500 ft. He explained that their chutes would not have time to open from that height. Beaming smiles all round as they say 'Oh we didn't realise we'd have parachutes!'
"Patriotism is natural, handed down the generations in our genes - not something you acquire from politicians."
That's why they destroyed the country first. I have this instinct burning inside me for sure, Theo. What is it, exactly, that I'm supposed to be patriotic about ? Tony Blair has dismantled my country - it no longer exists.
American readers should bear in mind what I have just said when they venerate Tony Blair as a saviour of Western values. It was under his watch that London became known to the CIA as 'Londonistan'.
If you look there is still enough left to hold onto and build upon..nulabour will pass.
Not without really knocking heads together, Thud. By that I mean something verging on civil war.
Whatever emerges will not be Britain.
Londonistan. A clarification for Americans.
Blair threw open our borders as a sop to the European Union - absolutely no checks or controlls of immigrants. They were given full access to our health and benefits system in a deliberate and spiteful assault on indiginous people (he hates Britain and patriotism). The overwhelming and astonishing influx of foreigners has changed the face of Britain in the space of ten years - emigration of our best people has never been greater. A sizable amount of these immigrants were Islamo-fascist anti-westerners to the extent that American security services started calling our capital Londonistan.
Couple this with the fact that Blair tasked our military on record numbers of engagements whilst undercutting their resources (record numbers of crack troops, officers, SAS, SBS special forces are leaving and not being replaced) and some friend of the US he turns out to be.
He's neutered one of your greatest allies.
We have a different version in our Navy.
The Joint Chiefs were arguing about which service had the bravest men.
The Air Force General said," Follow me" and off they went to Andrews Air Force base. The Gen'l found a radio and called the f-15 on patrol..."Lt, I want you to put that plane into a dive and not pull up until I tell you." Well, the pilot did so, crashed, and died. The General turned to the others and said, "That's courage."
The Army General took them to Ft. Benning and found a Ranger. "Ranger, take this pocket and knife and take that tank!" "Sir yes sir!"
It was a mess...
The Marine Corp Commandant replied, "A Tank? Watch this." From Parris Island, he found a Gunny Sgt. "Gunny! Go take Iran!" "OOORAH, sir!" And was never seen again.
Well, the Admiral looked at them all, smiled, and said follow me.
On a pier in Norfolk, Va., he stood looking at a carrier with binoculars. Finally, he found what he was looking for...
"Hey Quartemaster! Yeah, you on the bridge wing...I need you to jump from there, into the water 120 feet below, between the ship and the pier." The QM looked at the water, looked at the Admiral, looked back at the Admiral,flipped him the bird and said "FUCK YOU ADMIRAL!"
The Admiral turned to the others and said,
NOW, THAT'S Bravery!
True story! Would I lie? Go Navy!
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