A little more on marriage....

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray


Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash


"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..." - Anonymous


"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to." - Henny Youngman


"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield


"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." - Milton Berle


"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." - Anonymous


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - Anonymous


First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

H/T Shelly