Absolutely brilliant unless you are stuck at Heathrow Terminal 5
Saturday, 29 March 2008
NEW Cadbury Dairy Milk Advert - 'Airport Trucks having fun'
Military Wit and Wisdom...part 1
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject....directly over the area you just bombed." -
U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered
automatic weapons." - General Macarthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you .. Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
H/T 45 Govt
Once a Marine.....
Riverside Press-Enterprise Wednesday, Jan 23, 2008
The U.S. justice system should not tolerate even minor assaults on military personnel. In the case of an Illinois Marine, we're glad to see the system work, even if it took an Internet-generated push. Thanks to a few Marines, both active-duty and retired, the story ends well.
On Dec. 1, Chicago lawyer Jay Grodner took offense at "Semper Fi" Marine Corps license plates on a black BMW. So the anti-war activist keyed the car. The car's owner, Marine Sgt. Michael McNulty, saw him do it and had him arrested.
The police wanted to charge Grodner with a misdemeanor. McNulty held out for a felony charge, which the damage warranted. The prosecutor felt it was a minor case and urged the parties to make a deal, but neither was inclined to do so.
Complicating matters was the fact that McNulty was en route to Camp Pendleton for his second deployment to Iraq. He was slated to report Jan. 2. The case was set for Dec. 31.
At this point, a military-affairs blogger, BlackFive ( www.blackfive.net), posted the story. A BlackFive reader attended the Dec. 31 hearing and reported a crowd in the courtroom supporting McNulty, along with a new prosecutor -- Patrick Kelley, USMC 1969-72. Grodner also had the misfortune of having his case assigned to Judge William O'Malley, USMC 1961-64.
The case was resolved Monday when Grodner pleaded guilty. The judge couldn't resist a little lecture. From the transcript:
"You probably also wondered why there was a whole crowd of people here today, Mr. Grodner. ... That's because there is a little principle that the Marine Corps has and has had since 1775, when they had fought and lost their lives so that people like you could enjoy the freedom of this country; and that is a little proverb that we follow, that no Marine is left behind. "Sgt. McNulty couldn't be here, but other Marines showed in his stead. Take him away."
Grodner will do community service, spend a year on probation, pay restitution and then, if his promise to a newspaper columnist can be believed, move to France.
To the online Marine community, congratulations on a gratifying victory. And to Sgt. McNulty, come home safe.
Original story HERE
H/T Thomas Struckmeyer
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Jessica Simpson launches swimwear line....yeah right.
I wasn't aware she could spell swimwear let alone 'design' it.
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Joke of the Day...
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden on their Wyoming ranch. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent
eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, 'Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain shit in our garden.'
H/T Jackie Gedling
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News...
After 2 Iraq tours, Marine gets U.S. citizenship. Hoooorah.....he earned it the hard way!
We're not sex objects, say bikini pageant models. So let's take them seriously!!!!
Get off my bus, I need to pray. Boot the bastard out of our country.
Serial burglar swanned into Downing Street using Lithuanian lover's ID in amazing security breach. Ho ho...if the plod can't keep No 10 safe what chance do the rest of us have.
Families slash spending, experts warn of mortgage meltdown and NOW job threats loom. Brown is about to discover the true meaning of prudence..
Michael Martin's home gets £1.7m makeover. Make the prick pay for it himself.
Dutch MP Geert Wilders claims to be all about freedom of expression - but is he about to engulf Britain in a holy war? We are already in a Holy War!!
We must talk to the Taliban, says Des Browne. WTF!! This prick is supposed to be our Defence Secretary. We must exterminate the Taleban and sack this no good Mother F**ker as well.
Rift between UK diplomats and Army in Basra. Let the Army do their job their way and sack the worthless diplomats.
Election rigged for Robert Mugabe, says official. No s**t!
Hillary Clinton told to accept defeat for party. I would love to have heard her reply!!
North Korea provokes US with missile test. Can we do a missile test. I want to know if trident really works!!
Plan to allow sea to flood Norfolk villages. Go flood someone else's villages.
Coroner attacks MoD failures in Afghanistan. And? The MOD will continue to 'kill' our troops and nobody has the guts to get rid of the f**king useless department.
US Marine accused of killing Iraqi civilians won't face court. People die in war! In fact you cannot win one without killing civilians.
James May: Man and machine.
And he wants to be President!!!
When you are faking a pose for a camera photo opportunity, shouldn't you at least get the phone turned in the right direction!
H/Ts Casasquirrels & Don Emslie
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TWO OLD MEN ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON
THe TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.
THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER,
'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE.'
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE
OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS
DEAD!'
'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'
HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
' A WITCH ?? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A
LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH
HER!'
H/T Jackie Gedling
Friday, 28 March 2008
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An AH-64D Apache from Company B, 1st Attack Battalion, 227th Aviation Regiment, 1st Air Cavalry Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, flies over a residential area in the Multi-National Division-Baghdad area Oct. 12. The Apache crew was conducting a reconnaissance mission to keep an eye out for enemy mortar and anti-aircraft systems.
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Just in case you didn't know ....
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected . I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never again saw the man nor his assistant, nor their money. Just monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
H/T Shelly
CargoSquidNews.....
84-year-old ruins would-be robber's day. A Marine never forgets his training...
Allies’ jet laser can melt tanks. The eco-loonies are going to 'love' this!!!
Terminal disgrace: Passengers forced to spend the night as Heathrow launch descends into chaos. I saw a program the other night showing off this thingy. They claimed it was so advanced it would never break down!!!
How university recruitment drive became a £10bn flop. Labour true to form.
Sarkozy embarrasses Brown by praising his 'great job on the EU Treaty'. I don't recognise the EU. Brown will be gone soon and so will the Treaty.
Race watchdog bid to block pub named after 'slave trader' Royal Navy hero. Oh crap!
Has Billionaire Chelsea boss Abramovich bought the biggest drill on earth to dig a tunnel between Britain and America? Great idea. We can all then escape.
MoD to pay compensation for death of Iraqi prisoner Baha Mousa. The MOD is a waste of space. Our Military is ill-served by these pricks.
Areas of Baghdad fall to militias as Iraqi Army falters in Basra. Bring back carpet bombing. You cannot win a war without killing people!!
Iraqi police in Basra shed their uniforms, kept their rifles and switched sides. Nuking Basra has a certain appeal!!
Mugabe's Zanu-PF party draws the crowds. That's why they invented Claymores!!!
Basra crisis leaves British withdrawal in ruins. We walked away to soon.
Zimbabwe: heavy mob takes to streets of Harare before day of reckoning. We should send in our heavy mob.
Konnie Huq may boycott Olympic torch relay. Pity I would love to see her jogging!!!
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