Saturday, 15 November 2008
Global Domination Theo Style....
...that's hits from 148 countries in the last month. The internet is truly amazing.
Ducks are getting crafty....
My father used to pick me up from school at 4am, we would go down to Blakeney marshes for the morning flight and would be back at school for breakfast. Nothing like a flask of cocoa laced with scotch to keep you warm and liven up the morning classes.
H/T
Maggie's Farm
Things You Hear on a Golf Course...
Look at the size of his putter.
Oh, dam, my shaft’s all bent.
After 18 holes I can barely walk.
My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
Lift your head and spread your legs.
You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
Just turn your back and drop it.
Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
Damn, I missed the hole again.
H/T DML
News...
Why Europe is secretly afraid of a socialist America. And why our enemies have big grins. The West's biggest enemy is the liberal/socialist cabals that have taken control of or media and institutions. Until this cancer is cut out Western civilisation will continue to decline.
Gordon Brown risks 'collapse of sterling' says George Osborne. Brown must go, NOW.
Al-Qaeda's influence is spreading, says CIA chief. We ignore Africa at our peril.
Row over British plan for labelling 'illegal' Israeli vegetables. Utter garbage. I will buy them when I see them.
Judge orders girl to write apology for killing HMS Belfast's cat. Keelhaul the little bitch. And why can't scum like this be named?
Barack Obama is warned to beware of a ‘huge threat’ from al-Qaeda. They know that he hasn't the balls for the job.
Over 250,000 displaced as sexual violence erupts in DRC. More butchery. Africa was much better under white rule.
Saving car giants will cause havoc, Gordon Brown warns US. What does he know. Bulking up the public sector with union non-jobs has caused havoc over here so he can hardly talk. At least the US still has a motor industry. The unions destroyed ours.
RAF exercise over Iceland is cancelled. And the Russians will take full advantage.
Nicolas Sarkozy calls for rethink over US missile defence system in Europe. F**k Iran etc. We need missile defence to protect us from the Russians. If you hadn't noticed the Cold War is on the way back.
White guilt? Done; over; history. I wasn't aware we were supposed to be feeling guilty!
Christmas Lights Challenge......
...beat this! Ok it's early but over here we are in full Christmas mode. The shops and TV have been full of Christmas stuff and adverts since Nov 1. Personally I think all Christmas ads and paraphernalia should be banned before Dec 1. Also the whole lights think works well in North America where there is snow in the UK it is just crass.
H/T Pete Hurrell
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WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other--
that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl'sempty and so
is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Friday, 14 November 2008
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Vampire Killing Kit....
This 200-year-old vampire killing kit was recently sold at an auction in Natchez, Mississippi. The winning bid? $14,850! The lucky bidder is rumoured to be one WJ Clinton.
H/T DML
News...
Taleban vow to win Afghan fight. What again. They keep threatening it.
Dems Target Private Retirement Accounts. Typical Socialist Policy. Brown has taxed the s**t out of Britains Pension Funds.
Leading Psychiatrist Says Liberalism is a Psychological Disorder. Something we have all known for ages.
Ascot and luxury foreign trips - a portrait of Haringey's head of children's services. Sack the useless bitch.
Prisoner branded one of Britain's most dangerous men escapes from guards while shopping in Aldi supermarket. WTF!!! Since when do prisoners get shopping trips.
20,000 migrant workers register for London Olympics jobs - despite pledge to provide work for local people. Nothing about the Olympics will be as promised, especially the Budget.
Paul Boateng's wife investigated for alleged bullying of domestic staff. Nothing would surprise me. Boateng is a revolting specimen.
Outrage as school fails to observe poppy day silence - because it would disrupt classes. Sack the head teacher.
Ministers must not resort to 'cheap options' on defence, says British Army chief. They have been for years. Defence has been shredded to pay for all Brown's nonjobs in the public sector. Obama will probably do the same.
US drones fire missiles into Pakistan. Hit the Terrorists where they feel safe.
Starving Zimbabweans raid food lorries. The only way to end the suffering is to send in troops to wipe Mugabe and his cronies out. I wonder if Obama will do anything to save fellow Africans.
Piracy gets a shot across the bows. Let's see how many other navies will take the aggressive action needed to stop it.
Double-decker graves to tackle lack of burial space. Nothing is sacred. Wouldn't be surprised if the families are sent the bill for reburying they dead.
Taliban calls on human rights groups to stop executions. They can f**king talk.
Hillary Clinton tipped to be new Secretary of State. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer still.'
A Thought.....
I was sitting here thinking during lunch and this thought struck me ……
After all that time and money spent during the election what actually was the outcome? ……
Another black family living in government housing!
H/T DML
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A man owned a small farm in Norfolk...
The Department of Employment claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board.
The cook/housekeeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
H/Ts Paul H & Shelly
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Understanding Engineers...
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
H/T DML
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Gadget of the Day.....
Auto dimming mirrors rear camera display
More goodies available from
Mito Corp
News....
Broken promise on Snatch vehicles. The Government and MoD must be held responsible for the unnecessary deaths of British service men killed due to faulty and inadequate kit.
Barack Obama to appoint Republicans to key cabinet roles. Define 'key'?
Vladimir Putin closes in on presidency. I wasn't aware he had ever given it up. The Pseudo-Tsar is becoming a serious threat to world stability with his soviet style shit-stirring.
Navy kills three pirates off Somali coast. Nice one. We need to track the pirates to their bases and take them out.
Thief caught on CCTV taking money from a Poppy collection on Remembrance day. To the stocks with him.
US soldiers get military-issue TroopTube. Should be interesting.
BT to slash 10,000 jobs after profits plunge. The only people not to shed jobs in the next couple of years will be the bloated and incompetent public sector. This is the one place that needs to shed jobs by the thousands to release the burden upon the taxpayers. It is chronically overstaffed and protected by the trade unions who 'control' Labour.
Investigation into brutal death of Baby P increases the pressure on council chiefs. It is a Labour council staffed by socialists so don't expect anyone being held to account.
Power supergrid plan to protect Europe from Russian threat to choke off energy. Like it. Putin will be pissed.
Syria to be offered sweeteners to come to heel. Bullshit. Let's all cosy up to the terrorists states. It's worked so well in the past.
Zimbabweans want a new election. And they deserve one under strict supervision.
Minnesota Senate race getting ugly as recount looms. The Demoncrats will steal it.
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