Theo Spark: 23/11/2008

Saturday, 29 November 2008

A couple of great songs from Chris De Burgh.....

Patricia the Stripper. If you have never listened to this you are missing out. It is brilliant. Probably the best song to sing in the shower ever.

Spanish Train...

News...

Terrorist's BlackBerry link to the UK. So we are now exporting terrorists.

Lord Mandelson draws up list of businesses Government should save from collapse. I wonder how many have made donations to Labour.

Police state Britain: Tory MP Damian Green's crime was to reveal truths Labour didn't want you to know. Stalin would be impressed.

'Speaker Martin must go': MPs unite in wake of unprecedented police raids on Tory MP and House of Commons. Throw him into the gutter where he belongs.

HMAS Apocalypse: Deep in the Atlantic, a submarine waits on alert with nuclear missiles that would end the world...And thank God we have her. Our attack boats should all carry nuke tipped Tomahawks as well.

Using satellite spy cameras, councils target private land to build 7,500 gipsy sites. Keep the effing gypos out.

'Killjoy' council bosses blasted for threatening children's pantomime with police raids. Pathetic.

War veteran, 86, stuck on his mobility scooter for 16 hours after hitting a patch of mud. He had better get a 4x4.

Mumbai attacks are warning to us in Britain. We have created a problem that must be dealt with.

Damian Green arrest shows how Labour is destroying our political system. I never thought I would agree with a liberal.

Zimbabwe leaders 'agree on constitutional amendment'. Progress? Don't bet on it.

Mumbai attacks: Investigation focuses on Pakistan. Pakistan is either with us or not. If not there is going to be carnage.

British and Irish anti-piracy experts rescued - after pirates attack. What is the point of having un-armed 'security' personnel?

H/T Peter Gunn

Friday, 28 November 2008

Cartoon round-up...by Mark Scott

Light News...

ANALYSIS: Is Labour using the police?. Of course they are. Any opposition to Labour will be systematically crushed before the next election.

As thief gets away with caution, boss who marched him to police lands false imprisonment charge. Once again the police proove what a bunch of worthess idiots they are.

Flipping madness! Police offer free flip-flops to binge drinkers who keep falling over in heels. WTF!

Violence over jobs threatens Chinese cities. There is a lot of trouble brewing in China.

Raúl Castro offers to meet Barack Obama on 'neutral ground'. A big commie cuddlefest.

Here's harsh things a woman can say to a naked man.

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.
3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It’s okay, we’ll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… I just got a flash headache.
11. (Giggling and pointing)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

H/T Mark Scott