Saturday, 21 January 2012

TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOUTHERN BOYS SAY:

31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY (EVER):

1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole busload of us
down to re-elect OBAMA.

H/T Shelly

10 comments:

PacRim Jim said...

You forgot:

"I hate the U.S.A."

Anonymous said...

Touche!
(Which is another thing you'll never hear Southern boys say, thank God).

Anonymous said...

Touche!
(Which is another thing you'll never hear Southern boys say, thank God).

Anonymous said...

How about, "No, you mean African-American"

Anonymous said...

Amen to that brother

LSBeene said...

Um, Rednecks hate the USA!?

Anonymous said...

@LSBeene - The context = 'Things you'll NEVER hear a Southern boy say'.

No Southern boy would say... "I hate the U.S.A."

Make sense now?

Anonymous said...

Right.

Tom Wolfe, Tennessee Williams and William Faulkner would have no idea how to deal with Shakespearean trivia...

Douchebag bigot post.

PacRim Jim said...

William Tecumseh Sherman High School

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