Groaners to Get You Through the Weekend!

Nineteen Newfoundlanders go to the cinema.
The ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"
Buddy replies, "The film said 18 or over."

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday.  So I went to our local pet shop and they were $70.
Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper on the web.

I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. 
A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
 
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker.
Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

H/T Old Dude