1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
H/T Liz B
Saturday, 28 June 2008
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Light News...
Force bans village bobby from bike because he hasn't passed his cycling proficiency. You couldn't make this up!
Suspected al-Qa'eda terrorist leader to be freed on bail. Welcome to the British legal system.
Hugo Chavez's Venezuela 'supplies half of Britain's cocaine'. It is about time that someone did something to put Chavez out of business.
Queen refused government grant because of 2012 Olympic Games. The Queen does more for this country in a weekend than al the politicians manage in a lifetime. The Olympics are going to be an expensive shambles.
Zimbabweans refuse to vote and spoil ballot papers despite Robert Mugabe's violent threats. The poor sods are going to be stuck under Mugabe's murderous rule until he dies, 'cos the West have no balls.
James May: Lighten up.
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Friday, 27 June 2008
DML wants to know what this is.....
...looks like an Otter to me. Once again I have a huge backlog of e-mails, I will be getting to them tomorrow.
Theo's predictions for 2008....
I made these on Jan 1 on the old site. I am not doing too bad.
Hillary will not make it to the White House.
Gordon Brown will be ousted from power.
Londoners will get rid of Ken Livingstone.
Someone somewhere will detonate a nuclear device.
The poor bloody Darfuris will continue to suffer.
Britney/Paris/Lindsay will pose for Playboy.
Television audiences will drop by 20%.
The Patriots win the SuperBowl.
Britain's Economy goes tits up.
Why I love the internet....
Lisa Edelstein - Schoolgirl from last nights episode of House. My recorder wouldn't work quick enough to get it but some genius had already got it. Enjoy.
Incidentally clicking this pic could be considered NSFW. Yes it is a fake but a good one.
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