Friday, 28 November 2008
Here's harsh things a woman can say to a naked man.
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.
3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It’s okay, we’ll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… I just got a flash headache.
11. (Giggling and pointing)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.
H/T Mark Scott
From
Theo Spark
at
08:07
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Thursday, 27 November 2008
The Secretary Of State Rhyme Contest...
..anyone who is bored leave your entries in the comment section. I will post them later. Limericks also would be good.
Hilly had a little Lamb'
She named him 'lil Billy,
Everywhere that Hilly went,
He followed with his willy.
From
Theo Spark
at
12:58
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comments
News....
Mumbai terrorist attacks: Troops launch operation to free hostages. This will not end well. Islam proves once again that is a threat to civilization.
Not a single rasher of bacon served to UK forces is British. An effing disgrace. The MoD are a joke.
Lesbian soldier pestered for sex by her male boss wins 'obscene' £200,000 payout. Greedy dyke. She now wants to join the police so expect another similar lawsuit in a couple of years.
It's great news for the impatient gentleman - women say foreplay is overrated. Australian's idea of foreplay: 'Brace yourself Sheila'!!
Drugs police raid grandmother's home... after mistaking TOMATO plants for cannabis. The Keystoners at it again.
Barack Obama plans 20,000 troop surge to boost Afghan effort. Bulls**t. General Petreaus and Dubya have been planning a surge in Afghanistan and have been for some time. Obama is already gettting a Napoleon Complex.
Should Thabo Mbeki be blamed for the early deaths of 365,000 people from Aids? Not to mention the thousands dying from cholera in Zimbabwe where he is keeping Mugabe in power.
Intelligence chiefs were expecting Al-Qaeda spectacular. A two year old could have predicted it. We need to up our game to eradicate radical islam.
and
Things To Be Thankful For In A Troubled World. by Jules
Bird of the Week: Eastern Wild Turkey.
From
Theo Spark
at
08:40
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