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MORE HERE
H/T Shelly
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
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Puns....
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still..
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You sta y here; I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmo t her telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
H/T Shelly
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Blog Post of the Day.....
Australia prepares for America’s decline. Pity the British government doesn't have the same foresight. Obama could get us all into a whole lot of trouble which we are not prepared for.
H/T Nebraska Bob
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More handouts with our money.......from Rico
Handout specialist and professional nose-wiper Obama is tossing MORE taxpayer money at irresponsible home buyers (you cannot call them home owners because these folks don't 'own' anything except debt).
"The Second Lien program."
This is more hopey-changey help for...you know who I mean...the money morons and Obama voters who, having no money for a cash down payment, used a second mortgage to close their home purchase. Now the poor dears are "upset" because the governments $50 billion dollar mortgage rescue plan isn't working for them. [They can't have their 1st mortgages re-worked because that 'mean' old 'unfair' 2nd mortgage is in the way. Dayumn...who'dda thought?]
But never fear, First Comrade Obama and his "team" are on the job. When it comes to HOPE and CHANGE and FAIRNESS for Americans who are financially reckless, their largesse with our money knows no bounds!
Taxes are going up. I s**t you not!
Priceless: An excuse from jury duty......
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I have painted out the surname to protect this genius.
H/T Stormbringer who has written a great bit on Caligula's horse aka Al Franken
The First 'Jetliner'.....
.....technically the DH Comet wasn't called a jetliner.
Wiki here
H/T Peter Gunn
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