H/T Jackie G
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Dog logic.........
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin Jones
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise -Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
H/T Martin
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News.......
Al Gore, Ignoramus
News Images Analysis by PoliticalXray.Com (PoliSat.Com) Barack Obama:
Hamas Offers $1.4 Million For an Israeli Soldier
Is Andrew Sullivan fantasizing about Levi Johnston?
Al Gore Got a D in Natural Sciences at Harvard
Jodie Evans is Barack Obama's Code Pink Liaison to Taliban Insurgents
Oil tankers parked off British coast as speculators wait for prices to rise
Osama Bin Laden's son wants to work for UN
MoD defends use of military time for Top Gear stunts
Barack Obama to set out 'end game' for Afghanistan
Somali pirates attack US-flagged Maersk Alabama a second time
Taser gun used on 10-year-old girl who 'refused to take shower'
Cuba: Raúl Castro 'continues brother's repression of critics'
Envoy lets slip EU presidency pact by France and Germany
We're going to miss Guantanamo deadline, Obama admits
Obama aims to break down wall around North Korea
President Obama returns home from visit to China almost empty handed
and finally......
Alcohol 'protects men's hearts'
You're An EXTREME Redneck When......
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, guys, watch this.”
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
H/T DML
Turpentine vs Holy Water
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.
A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.
The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'
The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'
The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's arse, he'll pass a Harley Davidson !'
H/T Rodney
A few more one liners.........
271. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
272. Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.
273. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
274. The best thing about living at the beach is that you only have assholes on three sides of you.
275. Silence doesn’t mean your sexual performance left her speechless.
276. The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
277. Why is it that in the US: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: “There’s a naked person outside!”
278. Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.
279. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
280. I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying
281. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
282. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
283. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
284. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
285. Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
286. Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
287. At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
288. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
289. Constipated people don’t give a crap.
290. Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
H/T DML
STORMBRINGER IN STATE OF SHOCK
Obama bowing and scraping to the Emperor of Japan . . . 
Khalid Sheik Mohammed returning to the scene of the crime to be acquitted . . .
and if all THAT ain't enough . . . Jane Fonda's got a BRAND NEW BAG ! ! !
WHAT A WEEK . . . . and it's only TUESDAY ! ! !
- STORMBRINGER
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