If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:
"My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanuel, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and Al Gore"...
If that doesn't scare the s**t out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.
There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing a public service.
H/T Jackie
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Free Medical Advice...............
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION.......
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:......continue reading
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Top Country & Western Songs.....
17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
16. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long
15. If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Getting Better
10. I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
9. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight
8. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now
6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
5 . She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
4. You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
2. She’s Looking Better After Every Beer
And the Number One song is . . .
1. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With A Few
H/T DML
Monday, 18 May 2009
Magic beans and consequences......from Rico
Read the "magic beans" attachment.
It goes a loooong way towards understanding what makes Barry & Michelle 'tick' and it also should scare the living daylights out of you into the bargain.
In more debt we trust? This really explains a lot about what's been happening the last few months.
These two have their "magic beans" but the rest of us are going to face very severe economic consequences because they are....well, financial morons.
Being a flaming Marxist doesn't help matters.
I am still considering the old 'saw' to "never ascribe to malice, what can be explained by stupidity."
Click to enlarge
Blog Post of the Day: THE DIVERSION YOU’RE IGNORING.....
. . . is the enemy’s main attack (Murphy’s Law of Combat; Rule #14). Murphy's Laws apply equally across the tactical to the strategic level; they work all the way from the lowly grunt in the foxhole right up to generals and Field Marshals leading armies across the plains of Europe and Asia.
While the Nancy Pelosi waterboarding soap opera develops and Obama’s socialization of the economy continues to dominate headlines, our strategic opponents are moving to outflank us on two significant fronts: Russian moves in the Arctic, and Chinese advances in cyberwarfare.
In August of 2007 a Russian a deep sea submersible descended 14,000 feet and......continue reading
Light News....
Mr Speaker's last stand: Isolated Martin makes desperate attempt to keep his job as clamour grows for him to go. He must be thrown out.
Teacher's 'assault' hell: 'All I did was touch a pupil on the arm... so why was I barred from school? We must restore discipline in schools.
MPs' expenses: Officials colluded over mortgage claims. Jail them.
Maritime defences 'not properly resourced', say MPs. We have maritime defences!!!!!
Trial of Aung San Suu Kyi begins amid lockdown. Another country that needs regime change.
Barack Obama attempts to ward off disastrous military air strike on ‘nuclear’ Tehran. Just because he hasn't the balls to take on Iran.
It's a barracks for Obama, and the rest of G8, says Silvio Berlusconi. Expect much fighting over who gets the top bunk.
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Are You an Extremist?......from Rico
Rico writes: 'Because I remember the days of the hammer & sickle far too well, this one is a no-brainer. Sign me right up as an "extremist" .....'
Top ten reasons a handgun is better than a woman......
10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU’RE ON THE ROAD.
8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND’S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN’T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.
5 - A HANDGUN DOESN’T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.
4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.
3 - A HANDGUN DOESN’T ASK, “DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?”
2 - A HANDGUN DOESN’T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.
and the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman
#1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN
H/T DML
Sunday, 17 May 2009
BNP... where their voters really come from...
Yet it is also, fundamentally, Old Labour. It would take the railways back into public ownership. It rejects globalisation. It believes in strong trade unions and that as much of industry as possible should be owned by those who work in it. In these respects it reminds you that Oswald Mosley left the Labour Party in 1931 to form the party that ultimately became the British Union of Fascists because Labour had rejected his plan to defeat mass unemployment with a programme of public investment. It is no coincidence that campaign leaflets in white working-class areas describe the BNP as "the Labour Party your grandfathers voted for".
From this piece in the Telegraph. The UK best hope that the "protest" vote goes to UKIP and not the neo-Nazi BNP.
Rod Liddle makes a valid point about the BNP, but ruins it with an ignorant attack on Lynyrd Skynrd that borders on libel. He seems to think that because Griffin has it as a ring-tone that means all LS listeners are racists and so is the band. He spouts off some bollocks about the song "Sweet Home Alabama" because of a reference to then governor of the state. He, and obviously Griffen, completely miss the point of the song. I posted a comment in disgust let's hope its published.
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Stormbringer presents: Murphy’s Law of Combat Operations
1. Friendly fire – isn’t.
2. Recoilless rifles – aren’t.
3. Suppressive fire – won’t.
4. You are not Superman.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
6. If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.
8. If at first you don’t succeed, call in an airstrike.
9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
13. If your attack is going really well, you’re walking into an ambush.
14. The enemy diversion you’re ignoring is their main attack.
15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: A) when they’re ready, B) when you’re not ready.
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
continue here
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Child's Prayer........
”Dear God, Please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy’s computer……Amen”
H/T DML
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