Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said,
'We agree it was rather high for the time of year.
It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.'
(The Daily Telegraph)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear.
When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description.
It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster.
A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.
(The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed.
He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge.
However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff..
( Aberdeen Evening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe,
delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden.
He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled -
'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap,
but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)
H/T Pete H
Saturday, 15 August 2009
NEWSPAPER ITEMS...........
Video: Hava Nagila Texas Style
The CUFI Cornerstone singers sing the popular hava Nagila Texas style
H/T Shelly
Video: Obama Booed at Town Hall Meeting
Here is footage from the Hagerstown, MD Town Hall meeting with Senator Ben Cardin on 8-12-09. This particular video shows the audience's true feelings toward the Obama administration.
H/T Shelly
Little Johnny has a great history lesson................
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775", he said.
"Very good! Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'"?
Again, no response except from Little Johnny, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed; Little Johnny knows more about history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F@#$ the Indians."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Little Johnny put his hand up, "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"
Again, Little Johnny says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004."
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit! We're screwed!"
Little Johnny bowed his head and said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008."
H/T Glen
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What Air is to Fire
"Liberty is to faction what air is to fire, an aliment without which it instantly expires. But it could not be less folly to abolish liberty, which is essential to political life, because it nourishes faction, than it would be to wish the annihilation of air, which is essential to animal life, because it imparts to fire its destructive agency. The second expedient is as impracticable as the first would be unwise. As long as the reason of man continues fallible, and he is at liberty to exercise it, different opinions will be formed. . . . " James Madison
If people refuse to govern themselves at all -- let alone well -- it is unlikely that a bureaucratic state will be in any position to lessen destructive impulses. Both New York and California are Pushing for Constitutional Conventions. If our politicians were anything like truthful, they would point to these two states and instruct Obama that the proper course at this time is a reduction in spending, and tax reform, not a crazed expansion of the State.
Tory in America Fred Siegel on Henry Fairley's Essays
Hitler's America: Wizbang Gets the Creeps
Further Dissent at Washington Rebel
Friday, 14 August 2009
NAVAL AIR OPERATIONS IN AFGHANISTAN
I just wanted to let you know how things are going out here on the good ship USS Eisenhower . . . We began combat operations on March 21st and have been flying over the beach almost every day since then . . . Keep watching the news. If you hear about airstrikes in Southern Afghanistan there is a good chance it came from my Air Wing.
Full text & more photos straight out of the 'Stan at STORMBRINGER
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"LIVE FREE OR DIE!"
-Motto of the Great State of New Hampshire.
What kind of American DOESN'T recognize Old SlabSides?
Politics is cheap and over-rated. Read about it at STORMBRINGER
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Probable repost: Overheard conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz, while flying from Europe to Dubai.
The conversation went like this...
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps F/A-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Radar: ................................................................... 
This may be a repost and the assholes at snopes probably have something on it, but I like it and someone should send it to Imadinnerjacket.
H/T Paul B
Grab THIS!..............from Rico
Obama's "Health Care Reform" very simply = the Gov't (White House) will decide who lives and who dies.
The very real and realistic public 'concern' stems from the fact that no one with a functioning brain trusts the Government anymore.
How long can this colossal anal rape of America by Team Obama continue?
Things you do see in Norfolk.......
.....Rick Yemm from Ice Road Truckers. Just had a couple of beers with him. He is a nice guy, don't believe everything you watch. He is over here for a Monster Truck thingy and it was fun to chat with him.
He has a site HERE
Light News.....
East German Trabant revs up for comeback.
French ban Muslim woman from pool for wearing 'burkini' swimsuit.
Hijacked Arctic Sea feared to be carrying secret cargo of drugs. Probably hijacked by the Russians to give them an excuse to have an 'exercise'.
US senator to meet Burma's General Than Shwe. Why? There can't be many crackpot dicators left that Obama's mob haven't cuddled up to.
US Marines in mass assault on Taliban town
Watchdog 'gives green light' for huge City bonuses.
Rumours and fears stoke fury over Obama healthcare plans
Alabama test
Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed teacher at County Elementary School.
In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important TAKS test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions,which she administered to her class last Tuesday.
The exam purposely covered a broad array of topics.
I call your attention to question # 11, which simply read:
LIST, IN ANY ORDER, THE FOUR SEASONS:
1. ________ 2. ______ 3. ______ 4. _________
Now, could you possibly imagine that 67% of the students gave the following answer?
1. SQUIRREL SEASON
2. DEER SEASON
3. RABBIT SEASON
4. TURKEY SEASON
GOD BLESS ALABAMA
H/T DML
Letter to Obama.....
Dear President Obama, et. al.
In order to save some time and effort on the part of the minions that you have encouraged to spy on me, I am writing to turn myself in regarding your official White House request for people to contact you and let you know if they have heard any rumors and ‘casual conversations,’ or seen any e-mails surfacing against your so-called ‘health insurance reform’ bill. http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/Facts-Are-Stubborn-Things/
Not only have I seen these things, but I have also forwarded them to everyone in my address book, posted about them on blogs, message boards and Face Book ad nauseam and I have discussed them (out loud!) in public restaurants during dinner parties with my friends and family members. I have exposed the absurdity of your scheme to destroy America over the phone, internet and fax when I corresponded with my duly elected representatives in an effort to let them know my views against this horrific bill so that they can actually REPRESENT me in voting against it. I’ve signed several internet petitions and joined online groups opposing this travesty!
I have actually dared to exercise my FREEDOM of SPEECH, (as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States the last time I looked), in my frequent writings against this bill to deconstruct my way of life.
I listen to talk radio. Worse yet, I listen to CONSERVATIVE talk radio with the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Congressman J.D. Hayworth. And to top that off, I actually LAUGHED at several jokes that may not have been as politically correct on this issue as you demand, but at least they weren’t directed at innocent Special Olympic kids.
Oh yeah… Barbara Boxer will be smug to hear from you that she was right about us manufactured mob ‘types’… I dress nicely for a member of a mob ~ oh, not as lavishly as Michelle Obama with her $500 tennis shoes that she wears to garden in, but I’m probably a little more presentable than most of the “entitled” thugs in your frenzied mob ~ you know, the poor, disadvantaged and uneducated lazy bums you have inspired to join ACORN to train to be ‘professional’ agitators.
OK ~ I’m guilty as charged! I’m a conservative, pro-life, Jesus loving Christian, blue-eyed, blonde, white woman who owns a gun, belongs to the NRA and is old enough for AARP. English is my only language. I am a patriotic, proven LEGALLY born, tax-paying, hard working used-to-be-before-you-were-elected-and-crashed-the-market ‘rich’ labeled American small business owner who loves my country with no apologies and I don’t bow down to anyone, let alone terrorist dictators. I support the troops, respect my elders (even those over 64), and eat too much apple pie, so there’s plenty of me for the health Czar to shun in public. People know who I am. None of my records are sealed. I’m not afraid and don’t hide my true self behind LIES or a platoon of highly paid attorneys like you do.
I don’t appreciate you screwing over America and I’m going to continue to express my TRANSPARENT opinion against your pompous, radical actions in every which way but loose.
What the HELL are YOU going to do about it?
Sincerely,
Deborah
H/T DML
