Theo Spark

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Recently the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned "flavored" cigarettes, preventing the sale of clove and (the hitherto unknown) "chocolate" cigarettes

UPDATE ON MONICA LEWINSKY

After a relaxing bath...Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a
mirror...
Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing
her....
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for
help...
'God....If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She
prayed...
And just like that... her ears fell off...

H/T Rico

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Markos Moulitsas and American Taliban

I've got a new post, and I'm taking the gloves off a bit, so I think I'll refer folks over to my place.

Here's the tweet, in any case, from from yesterday:

Plus, see my review: "Misunderstanding Markos Moulitsas and American Taliban."

All c/o American Power.

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get
him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like a very long wait, theER doctor appeared, wearing his
scrubs and a long face.

Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating."
"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks in horror and shock! "We've never had a Democrat in the family before".

H/T Tuscan Tony

Bedtime Totty......

How Do You Build One?

The Pencil

Cartoon Round Up....

Video: The Beauty of the Power Game - Victoria Azarenka

H/T HJB

When Farmers Get Bored They House Race.....

H/T DML

The Ultimate Blogmobile......

H/T Peter Gunn

Video: Volvic Commercial | First male engineer

H/T HJB

WHAT MEN DRINK in a PUB and Why.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY/JACK DANIELS
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JIM BEAM
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

H/T Rodney