H/T Mark Scott
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When private equity came for trailer parks
2 hours ago
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
Monday, 4 February 2008
Lil Billy in the buff.......as 'endorsed' by Miss Lewinski!!!
Clicking this may put you off your dinner!!
Two aliens landed in the Australian desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger leaned over and addressed it saying,
"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response, and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting, again there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad."
"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpled mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, when a guy has a dick he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't want to mess with him!"
H/T 45 Govt
Theo's Tech Tip....
The WM Converter is a great piece of kit that allows you to change video formats. So when you 'borrow' an FLV file from a site you can convert it to Windows Media and upload to You-Tube etc. It is unlimited unlike most that only allow you 3 goes or a month of use.
Light news.....
Fury as foreign prisoners get luxuries. Deport them in shackles NOW.
Female Muslim medics 'disobey hygiene rules'. Boot them out as well.
Why families are £1,000 a year worse off since 2002 thanks to Labour taxes and interest rates. Throw in inflation at about 10% and things are going to get bad.
PRICE OF FOOD SOARS TO ALL-TIME RECORD. You are telling me!
Thousands of sick soldiers and resignations leave British Army running out of men. Gordon Brown must beheld responsible for destroying Britain Military. It is tantamount to treason.
Ban gas-guzzling cars, says ex-Shell boss. W**ker!!
Kennedy's kiss of death for Barack Obama. He has probably been bought off by the Clintons.
And I am not sure Obama will be thankful for the support of this bunch!!
...and finally: The French Stewardess can't seem to keep her kit on!! Caution Boobies.
Medical alert...!!!!!
Many men are buying "black market" Viagra pills from Mexican mail-order drug stores.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that several of these pharmacies are mixing the Viagra with ground up Mexican Jumping Beans. 
H/T Don Emslie
We’re implementing this Answerphone message today
'GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO England
'Press '1' if you speak English.'
'Press ''2'' to disconnect until you can
Wouldn't it be amazing, if this caught on, all over the country...?
H/T AJD Shootist
CNN - Sharp as a button....
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion , she approached him for an interview.
‘Pardon me Sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN, What’s your name?
‘Maury Fishbein’ he replied.
‘Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?’
‘For about 60 years.’
‘60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?’
‘I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the Wars and hatred to stop, I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.’
‘How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?’
‘Like I’m talking to a f**kin’ wall.’
H/T Mark Scott
Jeremy Beadle Rip......met him once, was actually a nice bloke.
The funeral service for Jeremy Beadle has been arranged. Its a quiet family only service with a small finger buffet afterwards
Jeremy Beadles lawyer is having difficulty reading his will, apparantly it was written in short hand
How does the coroner know what time Jeremy Beadle passed away ? Cos the little hand was pointing to the big hand
After the autopsy when asked if jeremy beadle had a big manhood or not the coroner replied, "well on one hand he has but on the other hand he hasn't"
Apparently Jeremy Beadle requested to be recycled into compost on his garden. ITV sources say he could be back in early autumn with 'Watch Out, Beadles a Sprout'.
His local football team manager spoke to Jeremys manager and asked if they could have a minutes silance for him at the next match ,but his manager said Jeremy would have prefered it if they gave him a big hand.
H/T AJD Shootist
Sunday, 3 February 2008
The Ghost's of Presidents Past.....
Hillary Clinton has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House.
FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly!
The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Washington says, ‘Never tell a lie.’
‘Ouch!’ Says Hillary, ‘I don’t know about that.’
SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears…
Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Jefferson says, ‘Listen to the people.’
‘Ohhh! I really really don’t want to do that.’
THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears…
Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Lincoln says,
‘Go to the theater.’
H/T Mark Scott
Why men can't play football with women.....
Hard to concentrate isn't it!
H/T LG Toles
and apparently it is pronounced Okla....hooooo...ma
H/T Nebraska Bob
Great, Briton
“We shall abandon them in the mountains! We shall abandon them in the cities! We shall run like frightened children! Out of my way, I’m trying to surrender!”. Jules Crittenden quite rightly lets rip on Afghanistan and those who want to surrender!
However there is a solution......
We don't make them like this anymore........classics.
Posted with the kind permission of John Brooks who has some great pictures of the Goodwood Festival HERE
News.....
RAF forced to borrow planes. At last they get some decent kit. Pity the government won't buy them some of their own.
Asian PCs 'blocking crackdown on honour killings'. Then get rid of them.
In the morning, this headteacher was told his school was one of the best in England ... In the afternoon, he was told it would be closed. Only in Britain can crap like this happen.
It's a troubling thought, but was Tony Blair thinking of his bank balance when he backed Bush? Of course he was.
Our state collects more data than the Stasi ever did. We need to fight back. When a liberal rag like the Guardian starts to publish stuff like this you know things are bad. Freedom is our right, not a luxury bestowed upon us by a malevolent government.
Porter sacked by hospital after he asks for 'multi-faith' prayer room crucifix to be made visible. It is seriously time for the English to stop putting up with this crap. Revolution anyone?
Mr and Mrs Gorbals, king and queen of the Commons. Got their little socialist snouts well and truly in the trough......
Bishop of Rochester under police protection after receiving 'death threats' for saying Britain has no-go areas for non-Muslims. Anyone want to set a date as to when we are going to have to start 'clearing out' the Islamonazis.
Tories pledge lower tax and more police. We don't need more Police. We need the ones we have to start doing their bloody job and stop sitting aroud the staion playing with each other.
Multiple wives will mean multiple benefits. WTF......
Poland 'agrees' to US missile defence deal. Good. Poland is a good ally. Pity about the rest of the Eurowimps!!
Adolf Hitler's 'lost fleet' found in Black Sea. So that's where they got too.
Brian Ashton lost for words as England implode. I can think of several useless and c**nts being my favorite two. Possible the most pathetic display I have ever seen. I was as if the English team had bet on Wales to win.
Police bugged Muslim MP Sadiq Khan. Finally they do something useful.
SAS coup plotter Simon Mann faces show trial. Send in some of his 'old chums' to get him out. Overthrowing Nguema should also be on the to-do list. Maybe we could practise on him before we nail Mugabe.
US plan for Afghan troop surge. This is because some of our so called NATO allies are gutless and won't fight. There is no room in NATO for token members.
Why government busybodies should leave our land alone. Shoot them for trespassing!
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