Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and replied, ‘That tasted like bullshit!’
The doctor replied, ‘It was, you were a quart low.'
H/T DML
Sunday, 19 October 2008
The Sunday Best....
Jamaica puzzled by theft of beach. How the f**k do you steal a beach?
UK minister: Teach British children what Muslims did for us. Bloody Idiot.
New law to allow police to collect DNA in secret from teacups. WTF! This is getting crazy.
Alistair Darling's early days as the 'bearded Trot' who 'wanted to nationalise the banks'. Once a Commie.....
Darling: I'll spend our way out of the recession. What with? Brown has bankrupted Britain.
Outrage as Harman gives MPs 24 days off at Christmas. Workshy Wankers.
Afghans steal vital gear destined for our troops. Do the Afghans serve any useful purpose?
Robert Mugabe forces Zimbabwe aid agencies into cash crisis. When will somebody have the guts to 'remove' Mugabe from power?
Olympic mosque could create breeding ground for extremists, says senior Anglican. Why are we building a mosque in the first place? A new Cathedral would be a better idea. After all Britain is still a Christian country.
The Taliban is better organised and more dangerous than for years. Until we can hit them at their bases in Pakistan we will continue to have problems.
Stalin 'planned to send a million troops to stop Hitler if Britain and France agreed pact'. Not sure a million Russian Troops would have stopped Hitler at the time.
Passports will be needed to buy mobile phones. Why not just microchip everyone and be done with it!
Fishnets and flu shots? What a combo.
Envoy alert fuels Kim Jong-il rumours. Dead as a Dodo!
Pentagon plans ‘spaceplane’ to reach hotspots fast. Can we have some?
The Clarkypoos Bit....
Ditch the laptop and suit if you wanna stay alive, Mr Corporate.
Vespa GTV Navy 125.
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Saturday, 18 October 2008
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Some Quotes by Women.....
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. ~Cora Harvey Armstrong~
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~Helen Hayes (at 73)~
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. ~Janette Barber~
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. ~Lily Tomlin~
A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow~
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. ~Laurie Kuslansky~
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck~
Old age ain’t no place for sissies. ~Bette Davis~
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. ~Rhonda Hansome~
The phrase “working mother” is redundant. ~Jane Sellman~
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. ~Jennifer Unlimited~
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton~
Thirty~five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. ~Caryn Leschen~
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~Jennifer Unlimited~
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. ~Catherine~
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! ~Kathy Buckley~
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb .. and I’m also not blonde. ~Dolly Parton~
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. ~Sue Grafton~
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. ~Roseanne Barr~
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. ~Elayne Boosler~
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. ~Maryon Pearson~
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man~ if you want anything done, ask a woman. ~Margaret Thatcher~
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career… ~Gloria Steinem~
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor~
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt~
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies. ~unknown~
H/T DML
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Friday, 17 October 2008
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Light News....
Cut your petrol prices or face an inquiry, Brown tells fuel giants. Gordon Brown wanting to reduce tax revenue. Bulls**t. This is just spin.
Has the £2 trillion financial bail-out package failed? Probably. Bailing out the banks will not help Joe public who cannot afford to pay the bills due to being up to their eyeballs in debt to the banks.
British families of Second World War PoWs demand massacre apology. Too bloody right.
Terry Wogan breakfast radio favourite. Probably the best radio show on the planet.
Wartime relics that are a growing threat to Germany. Let's not forget that they dropped a few over here.
'Sex on Dubai beach' couple Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors jailed. The first rule of public sex: Don't get caught.
A little humour....
How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday
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I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
I'm wondering is it them or me?
H/T Liz B
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Thursday, 16 October 2008
Tigris Sun
A U.S. Soldier aboard a UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter flies over the banks of the Tigris River during an air-assault mission in Bayji, Iraq, Oct. 14, 2008. The Soldier is assigned to the 101st Airborne Division's 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment. U.S. and Iraqi Soldiers conducted Operation Deadbluff to reduce the number of enemy weapons caches in the area. U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Richard Rzepka.
Light News...
WWII pilot buried 64 years late. Peace at last.
Survivor of U-boat attack is laid to rest in sunken battleship in which 800 of his comrades died. A fitting resting place.
Airport admits 'strip search' body scanners WILL show people naked. I suppose they will want 'volunteers' to man the machines.
Government unveils 'Big Brother' plan: Now they want to snoop on every phone call, email and text message. What with. They cannot afford it.
US troops 'to leave Iraq in three years'. Pity so many will be 'left behind'. Let's hope Iraq can look after itself.
John Prescott: 'Cherie Blair is a snob'. That's the only thing he called her that can be printed.
Al Qaeda No 2 in Iraq reported killed in Mosul. Scratch another one.
Woman brings ashes into court to prove son is dead. Some bureaucrats should not be in their jobs.
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