One Down, Two to Go
She is a sexy little devil!!
H/T Shelly
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Get away you damned liar!"
"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
H/T Joker
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Slow news day....
'More practising Muslims than Christians in Britain by 2035' You can blame the bunch of bloody nancies running the Church of Enlgland for that. We need Hellfire and Brimstone not holding effing hands and chanting Kum Bi Ya.
Like a dreadful monster in a B-movie, they just can't kill Hillary off. Get a bigger stake!
How China gets its troops to stand to attention - pins in their collars and crosses on their backs. Do the Chinese have any good points?
Why women are to blame for killing off real men. Plenty of us real men still out here.
Burma 'allows US aid planes to fly in'. Well they have had a few days to bury all the 'victims'!
Cannabis to be upgraded to class B drug. Make it Class A and execute all dealers.
Iraqis allege sex abuse at the British Embassy. And the Government will pay them off with huge settlements whether it is true or not. Every two-bit shyster lawyer knows that the quickest way to get rich is to sue the British Government because they always cough up.
Missing Rush Limbaugh.
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Six truths of life!
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
Sorry about this....
I'm an idiot and I needed company.
H/T Don Emslie
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
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A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her 'Stammerers Action' group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said,
'If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water. So, who wants to go first?'
The Englishman piped up, 'B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham', he said.
'That's no use, Trevor' said the speech therapist, 'Who's next?'.
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out, 'P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley'.
'That's no better. There'll be no wild sex for you either afraid, Hamish.
How about you, Paddy?'.
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out, 'London'.
'That's Brilliant, Paddy!', said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise. After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy wild sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said, 'd-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry'
H/T Joker
African Politics: Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil..........
....just be bloody evil!!
H/T M Kohl
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News....
Broke Britain: How soaring bills have left cash-strapped families with less to spend than for 17 years. Thanks Gordon!!
'Excessively loud' TV adverts to be banned in crackdown after viewer complaints. About bloody time too.
Gunman shot dead after six-hour standoff with armed police on London's fashionable King's Road. Why did it take them 6 hours. As far as I am concerned, if you commit and armed crime you have the right to be shot dead. No warning, no rights and no mucking about.
Boris hires police chief who cleaned up the mean streets of New York as he puts crime at the heart of his manifesto. He has got a lot to do.
Truancy reaches record high as 60,000 children go missing from class EVERY DAY - despite £1bn crackdown. Fine the parents £50 every time their kid doesn't turn up. If they don't pay 60 days in a chain gang cleaning up the streets.
Top foreign footballers could be banned from the UK unless they speak good English under new immigration points system. This should also be applied to Labour MPs.
Labour's tax on drivers up £600 a year. That's more than my bloody cars worth.
Gorbachev: US could start new Cold War. Oh absolute bollocks. Russia and China are both looking for trouble and think that can get away with it while the US & Co are fighting the 'Islamic War'.
Burmese prisoners 'executed after cyclone hit'. I seem to remember predicting this yesterday.
Johnson plans boot camps for troubled teens. Looking Good, Boris.
John Bolton: US should bomb Iranian camps. What's the point of MOAB if you don't use it.
55% of Labour voters want Gordon Brown to resign. So loyal these lefties!!!!
Barack Obama tightens his grip as Hillary Clinton falters. Don't count on it. the Clinton's are the masters of dirty tricks.
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Sunday morning sex...........
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old Grandmother and comfort her.When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.'
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago we realizing our advanced age,we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start toning. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even...Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding And out on the Dong'
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,'He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along'.........
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
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