Having had a light day normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
Saturday, 19 April 2008
News....
Der Stink: Germany to blame for terrible smell engulfing England blown in by freak weather. Donner und shitzen!!
Ministers are hiding the true cost of the Olympic Games, says Commons watchdog (and it's likely to be £9.3bn) Make that 40 billion.
Fit enough to play basketball ... the Iraqi boy paid £2m by the MoD for being paralysed by a stray British bullet. Another total balls up by the MOD.
Guantanamo eight to sue MI5 and MI6 over 'illegal abduction and interrogation'. Send them back to Gitmo.
Mugabe regime ordered 77 tonnes of Chinese arms three days AFTER disputed elections. Someone sink the ship.
Financial crisis forces Britons into austerity. The prices of stuff have gone ballistic.
Robert Mugabe 'mobilising command centres for national terror campaign' Someone had better put our Airborne Guys on 24 hour stand by.
Coroner blames MoD again over troops' deaths. Heads must start to roll.
Enoch Powell: the Great Lie survives. Heffer on the 'Rivers of Blood.'
The death of common sense - it's time we all fought back. John Humphreys making sense for once.
James May: Vanity of vanities. Why do we want to drive beautiful cars?
Eight days of fear in Mugabe's machine. It will get worse.
Britain's 16 Air Assault Brigade takes aim at hearts and minds - but the guns are muted. Hearts and Minds will not work in Afghanistan, it didn't in Iraq.
Patriot's Day......
April Morning. Jules has all the details.
I am not sure why I am celebrating the day when the colonials got all uppity but what the hell. A little bit of 'patriotism' in the UK would go amiss right now.
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Friday, 18 April 2008
Theo's movie review of 'Meet the Spartans'....
..it's so crap it's brilliant. Tomorrow I will be reviewing 'I am Legend', starring Will Smith. Ok so I am a bit behind the times but WTF.
I am taking the rest of the day off to watch 'Meet the Spartans'....I will leave you this song which is brilliant.
.. the huge stack of e-mails will be read tomorrow.
Medicine 101.....
An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'
A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'
The English doctor, not to be outdone, said 'Hah!. We can take an asshole out of Scotland, put it in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours.'
H/T Killem
Taste the Rainbow!!!
Due to Theo having had a fantastically long lunch the rest of today's posts could get a bit silly.....
H/T Peter Gunn
Friday Competition... who ever sends me the best 'Daily Chassis' photo.....
...will get a years free membership of You Strip.
News....
Casualties of the Campaign. VDH on the 'bloody' camapign.
The REAL cost of inflation: The Mail's Cost of Living Index reveals food prices rising at SIX times official figure. Only six times.....you should see my local shops prices.
'Brown was put on earth to remind people how good Tony Blair was': Labour peer's devastating critique of 'haggis-like' Prime Minister. He won't last the summer.
Sorry, wrong house: Drug squad's sledgehammer raid nets a dinner lady drinking tea. The Keystoners were never this good!!
Over a third of bosses say staff lack the three Rs... despite the billions ploughed into education. Stop throwing money at problems and get some decent teachers.
Anyone who doesn't believe the Gurkhas should have the right to retire in Britain should read this extraordinary account of their finest hour... It is time that we got rid of those who would prevent these brave men from staying here.
Does America love Gordon Brown? I bloody hope not!!
Mugabe had come close to handing over power, says Tsvangirai. Just shoot the bastard before China send troops to look after him.
‘Softly-softly’ Thabo Mbeki is urged to quit over tolerance of Robert Mugabe. Another one who would be vastly improved by a bullet!
Harry Potter storylines are gibberish, judge tells Rowling. I wouldn't know I have never read one or seen the films.
Dmitri Medvedev votes were rigged, says computer boffin. Doh! Of course they were. you really think Putin was going to risk real democracy!
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Know Your State's Modern Motto....part 2
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Prostitutes and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - The Edyoocashun State
Texas - Se Hablo Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Ay, Yep
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - We Have More Rain Than You Do
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming - Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
H/T Shelly
Thursday, 17 April 2008
Hero of the Day: Squadron Commander E.H. Dunning
The First Man to land a plane on a ship. Hats off to this pioneer of Naval Aviation.
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A man and his dog....
U.S. Army Spc. Harmon, from 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, cuddles with working dog Lucky April 2, 2008, during a break at Combat Outpost Power in Mosul, Iraq. (U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Sarah De Boise)
If the Turks haden't blocked the 3ID coming south in 2003 things may have been different....
U.S. Army Soldiers from Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division conduct a cordon search and seizure outside of Combat Outpost Carver, Iraq, March 30, 2008. A house was occupied by Al Qaeda operative Abu Ziyad and is being searched to confirm or deny it was used as a prison for hostages. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Daniel Herrera)
Unbutton Your Shirt
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said 'Unbutton your shirt.'
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability, too.'
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Glasgow Mortuary.......
A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue. She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but
please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm
very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque.'Nay charge,' he says.
'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, hen,' Tam says, 'it didnae cost nothin. You see, a deed gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him
going to his grave wearing a black suit insteed, and she said it made nae difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So, I just switched their heeds.'
H/T Paul S
Vote for a Cheerleader....
Indianapolis Colts Cheerleader Tryouts. Indy Jane (a long time friend of this blog)has a cousin who is trying for the Colts Cheerleader Squad. Please pop over and vote for her if you have the time.
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