H/T Canis 61
Monday, 2 March 2009
A whole stack of 10th Amendment stuff......
Glenn Beck - 20 States Move to Declare Sovereignty. If you only watch one of these make it this one.
Washington and other US states claim sovereignty
20 + States Declaring Sovereignty Under the 10th Amendment!!! Pennsylvania State Rep Sam Rohrer
Increasing Number of States Declaring Sovereignty. Representative Matt Shea
H/T Peter Gunn
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News.....
Strewth! Cricket is a foreign import - according to new Australian research. The pre-Ashes mindgames are starting early this year.
A Multilateral Mess by John Bolton
Canadian Banks: An Oasis of Financial Calm. How the hell did they manage that?
Malaysia to restore 'Allah' ban for Christians. WTF!! I am confused.
Another blow to fatherhood: IVF mothers can name ANYONE as 'father' on birth certificate. WTF!
Price of meat rises by more than 30% in a year due to falling pound. Buy from your local butcher, it's still cheap. The supermarkets import too much meat.
Thousands of desperate job seekers scramble for just 150 vacancies... at a zoo. Didn't know that many people wanted to be MPS.
Defence lawyers run up £7.1m legal aid bill for terror trial (paid by you). Terrorists shouldn't get legal aid. The lawyers should be on 'no win no fee'!
Yes, Big Brother Britain is a menace. The irony is, it's the civil liberties lobby who are to blame. by Melanie Phillips.
Catholic Church slams new code of conduct forcing teachers to promote Islam and gay rights. WTF!!!!!!!
Iran 'now has enough uranium to make an atomic bomb': US military chief. Why is this not a surprise.
Iraq will be left 'a better place' when army leaves. No sh*t. Nice of the media to notice.
British military facing becoming 'second division without major spending increase'. We must double the budget and make sure the money is not wasted. Getting rid of the MoD would be a good start. The military are more than capable of looking after themselves.
Banned cleric Omar Bakri addresses conference at London primary school. How the f**k was this allowed!
North Korea and UN Command hold first talks in six years. Who wants to surrendering to who?
Pakistan in the frame over Bangladesh uprising. Pakistan is becoming a major pain.
Hugo Chavez seizes control of rice mills in price dispute. So he is going to use food as a political weapon.
Japanese emperor to visit Pearl Harbor for first time since war. Why now?
Gordon Brown insists the European Union is united in response to global economic crisis. Like hell they are. I wouldn't give the euro 6 months.
Eight killed in US missile strikes in Pakistan. Need bigger missiles.
Zanu-PF hardliners 'attempting to sabotage' Zimbabwe's power-sharing government. Doh! Without miliary force Mugabe and his thugs will never give up their stranglehold on Zim.
Union calls on Obama's online team to fight Royal Mail privatisation. They can piss off for a start.
UN body provokes outrage with call for more fish farming. If people want to eat fish it is going to have to be farmed just like all other food stuffs. If the eco-weenies want to go graze let them. I will stick to the smoked salmon and scrambled eggs.
The laptop that shouts 'Stop, thief' when stolen. How about a built in taser type thingy? You can get briefcases with them in the handle.
A few cans short of a six pack..........
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
H/T DML
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Computer buying with Abbott & Costello.......
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou .
ABBOTT : Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .
ABBOTT : What about Windows?
COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT : Wallpaper.
COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT : Software for Windows?
COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT : I just did.
COSTELLO : You just did what?
ABBOTT : Recommend something.
COSTELLO : You recommended something ?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : For my office?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT : Word.
COSTELLO : What word?
ABBOTT : Word in Office.
COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything
I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT : One copy.
COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT : Click on 'START'..............
H/T Max B
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Top Ten Country Western Songs.....
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I've Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day
H/T Shelly
Sunday, 1 March 2009
British Humour....
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Pakistan. Two million Pakistanis are killed and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world promise aid.
The USA send troops to help.
Saudi Arabia send oil.
Latin American countries send supplies.
New Zealand send sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian continents send labor to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.
Australia send medical teams and supplies.
Britain, not to be outdone, are sending two million replacement Pakistanis.
God Bless British generosity.
H/T Sekhmet
Book of the Day....'Danger's Hour'
Jules has a review.
and he has also gone all musical. IDF Hit Parade
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