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Friday, 18 April 2008
Know Your State's Modern Motto....part 2
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Prostitutes and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - The Edyoocashun State
Texas - Se Hablo Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Ay, Yep
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - We Have More Rain Than You Do
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming - Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
H/T Shelly
Thursday, 17 April 2008
Hero of the Day: Squadron Commander E.H. Dunning
The First Man to land a plane on a ship. Hats off to this pioneer of Naval Aviation.
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A man and his dog....
U.S. Army Spc. Harmon, from 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, cuddles with working dog Lucky April 2, 2008, during a break at Combat Outpost Power in Mosul, Iraq. (U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Sarah De Boise)
If the Turks haden't blocked the 3ID coming south in 2003 things may have been different....
U.S. Army Soldiers from Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division conduct a cordon search and seizure outside of Combat Outpost Carver, Iraq, March 30, 2008. A house was occupied by Al Qaeda operative Abu Ziyad and is being searched to confirm or deny it was used as a prison for hostages. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Daniel Herrera)
Unbutton Your Shirt
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said 'Unbutton your shirt.'
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability, too.'
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Glasgow Mortuary.......
A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue. She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but
please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm
very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque.'Nay charge,' he says.
'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, hen,' Tam says, 'it didnae cost nothin. You see, a deed gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him
going to his grave wearing a black suit insteed, and she said it made nae difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So, I just switched their heeds.'
H/T Paul S
Vote for a Cheerleader....
Indianapolis Colts Cheerleader Tryouts. Indy Jane (a long time friend of this blog)has a cousin who is trying for the Colts Cheerleader Squad. Please pop over and vote for her if you have the time.
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News...
THE shameful squalor faced by British soldiers before they are sent to fight in Afghanistan. Send the Labour MP's to fix it. It will be the first days real work they will have ever done.
Good grief, Gordon Brown! Grief is all he has given us.
Half the country can't get an NHS dentist - and haven't had any treatment for two years. My dentist is in Mountain View,CA and I haven't seen him in 23 years.
The paramilitary face of a policewoman. A bit over dressed for handing out speeding tickets!!!
Robert Mugabe stole Zimbabwe election, says Gordon Brown. I notice the US and Frogs failed to publicly support him. And how did a crook like Mbeki end up chairing the Security Council.
Vladimir Putin 'to wed Olympic gymnast half his age' Can you blame him!! Possibly the first sane thing he has ever one.
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Drinking accelerates onset of Alzheimer's. Abstinence brings on depression and insanity!!!
Kenya's cabinet 'soaks up 80pc of the budget'. Welcome to Africa. Bring back the Empire.
Obama grilled over patriotism and links to militant. Careful people. We do not want Hillary back in the race.
Whatzat! Cheerleaders for Indian cricket? Excellent idea!
Diesel Boats Forever! Tribute to Diesel Submarines
Tribute to US Navy Diesel Submarines - Song By Tommy Cox
Know Your State's Modern Motto....part 1
Alabama - Heck Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - But it's A DRY Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everything.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grandkids, and Home Of The Early Bird Special
Georgia - We Put the Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But the Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce The "S"
Indiana - 2 Billion Years And Still Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
H/T Shelly
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Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Ex-Presidential Prick of the Day
Jimmy Carter: Emissary of Evil
Does this fool still get a Secret Service Detail? If so take them away.
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You might be friom Flori-Duh if:
..You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
..A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
..Your winter coat is made of denim.
..You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
..Anything under 70 is chilly.
..You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
..You could swim before you could read.
..You have to drive north to get to The South.
..You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
..You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York .
..Flip-flops are everyday wear.
..Shoes are for business meetings and church.
H/T Shelly
A USMC sniper was real good at his job, and he had a method.
He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, BANG -one less insurgent! After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"
However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go, sir."
"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"
"Well, sir, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Hillary is a Bitch!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"
H/T Peter Gunn
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