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Wednesday, 23 April 2008
News...
Operation overkill: Police use four squad cars and seven officers to evict group of protesting pensioners from bowls club. The Police don't have the guts to go after real criminals.
Cancelled on police advice: St George's Day parade through Bradford. Ooops mustn't upset the Mussies. If the don't like it they can leave. When are we going to have International F**k Islam Day?
Immigrants make up 25pc of town's population. And Boston is probably the better for it. I have no problem with the Eastern Europeans coming over here. They don't self-detonate for a start. Without them the local economy would have gone pear shaped. The locals are bone idle, illiterate and inbred preferring to live off the state.
'Drunk boys, 13 and 16, raped and murdered woman before dumping body in a river'. Hang them!
How the EU has wiped England and the English Channel off the map to create a 'United Europe'. We should ignore all EU regulations.
Climate change 'may put world at war'. We are already at war.
Tribal rivalry 'limits al-Qa'eda terror plans'. We should encourage the in-fighting.
Zimbabwe: neighbouring states show impatience with Robert Mugabe. A bit of foot-tapping is not going to work. A bomb in his bedroom might.
Hillary Clinton wins in Pennsylvania to fight another day. She was always going to win Pennsylvania. She is still going down.
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A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"
H/T Shelly
Old Pilot Sayings....part 2
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Always try to stay as far away from the crash site as possible.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
H/T Shelly
Tuesday, 22 April 2008
Just in.....
Iraqi Troops: Asleep on the Job?
To which DJ has added: "As he led his platoon across once perilous terrain, Lieutenant Colonel William Zemp was quick to praise Iraqi troops.
Since when does a Lieutenant Colonel command a platoon? That is the job of a butterbar 2Lt...
Discredits the story in the first sentence. A level of MSM incompetance that is almost comical..."
He has a point! There does seem to be a trend in sections of the MSM to knock the Iraqi forces every chance they get. They are always looking to put negative spin on things.
They can still fly them in......
China may recall Zimbabwe weapons. It is time that Zimbabwe was blockaded (I know it's landlocked)and the Zanu Leadership's foreign assets frozen. Any country who aids Mugabe's regime must also be hit with punative sanctions before the whole of Southern Africa goes tits up.
A few less.....
Iraqi National Police and U.S. Army Soldiers from 3rd Squadron, 1st Cavalry, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division discover a weapons cache near a checkpoint outside Abu Thayla, Iraq, April 13, 2008. Soldiers seized the cache, which consisted of 29 120-mm mortar rounds, 466 2.2 mines, 75 2.4 mines, seven Chinese 107-mm rockets and five rocket-propelled grenades, and detained three suspects. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Daniel Herrera)
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WTF kind of Pathetic Police State are we living in.....
A father-of-four has been left with a criminal record for overfilling his wheelie bin by four inches. Copeland Borough Council need a bloody good kicking. It is worthless fools like them that are wrecking Britain with their petty rules which are designed solely to raise revenue.
H/T Pete Hurrell
'The Old Gas Station'.........Author Unknown
The service station trade was slow.
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick.
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
A log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.
With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car.
Just like three gals before.
She tripped and fell -- got up,
and then in obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat..
He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish guy,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here."
H/T Ted Foster
This is at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.
Seems that someone decided to exercise his constitutional right to free
speech... and then someone else exercised HIS right to free speech. 
H/T Jackie Gedling
News....
Climate Change: Big Government Left and Right. A good piece on the myth of the century.
BBC News makeover triggers nausea. The BBC always makes me nauseous!!
RAF blow up £50m spy plane. Or something like that.
If Two Jags is bulimic, then I'm a size zero. Littlejohn lets rip.....
Nato alert as Somali pirates seize tuna boat. Don't send the Navy they are not allowed to fight pirates!!
Zimbabwe election recount finds broken seals on ballot boxes. No sh*t. Mugabe will steal the election and we will do nothing.
US defence chief tells air force to do more. Both the US and UK forces need to have a 'cull' of the REMFs. There are way too many not combat 'troops' in both of our armed forces.
David Miliband accuses Robert Mugabe of killing to stay in power. Of course he is.
Lembit Opik to make honest woman out of Cheeky Girl.
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THE POWER OF THE ASPRIN!
A guy is out with buddies, has a few drinks - is feeling a little frisky.
But, true to his wife, he goes home. He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open, so he gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth.
She starts to choke, but recovers and asks - "What did you put in my mouth?"
He says, "Two aspirin."
She replies, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!"
He says, - "That's all I wanted to hear."
H/T Pete Hurrell
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Old Pilot Sayings......part 1
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
A 'good' landing is one you can walk away from. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
H/T Shelly
Monday, 21 April 2008
Who would follow this bum....
...safely tucked away in a cave somewhere and what with little Moqui waving his willy from Iran, the Islamoloonies are a bit short of leaders with testicles. If Little Moqui and Zaqueeri want to be taken seriously they should get front and centre and be prepared to lead the way. After all what possible harm could come to them!!!!!!!
H/T
Spanish Pundit
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane...
.....when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.
'OK,' she said.' That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
H/T AJD Shootist
We could use these three if the US Navy can spare them.....
Click to enlarge
Captain Kidd, Human-Rights Victim. With the Royal Navy being hamstrung by the Government we might as well just surrender now. It is time to start keel hauling Labour Ministers.
H/T Mark Scott
Judgment Day looms for Hillary Clinton the wrecker. Both Democrat candidates are unfit to govern a bowel movement! If they are the best that the loony liberals can drag up then the Democrats are finished and about time too.
HILLARY’S TERRORIST TIES. These are going to wreck her.
A state trooper was driving along in the country when he noticed a small black coupe swerving all over the lonely back road.
He put on his flashers and pulled the car over. Hopping out of his cruiser, he then approached the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The blonde replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
H/T Mark Scott
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A-10 close Air Support.....
An A-10 provides close air-support and engages Taliban who were about 30ft from a British unit
News....
The Living Legacy of Maggie Thatcher: How the Politics of Conviction Saved Britain!
May the Royal Air Force be with you. It is going to need more than 8 Harriers, but it is better than nothing. The RAF need to send Brown a shopping list with the message that it gets filled or No 10 gets 'filled'.
March of Italy's 'BNP': Surely it couldn't happen here...could it? Of course it can and will. We now have two major parties that are unfit to govern. Only drastic measures are going to save Britain.
Home extension horror as mum discovers ten skeletons buried under her dining room - and faces a £30k bill to move them. Bet that livened up the builders.
Raised on welfare, the 'Why Bother?' generation that doesn't want to work. The Welfare State has wrecked Britain. There are too many benefits and most can go. Only those who are in dire straits should get help.
Alistair Darling in £50bn gamble to aid banks. The banks got themselves into it let them get themselves out of it. The military need that £50b billion far more.
Britain is becoming a 'why bother country'. I am glad that there are still a few of us who can be bothered. A decade of socialist liberalism has done much damage.
Fear in Sadr City as cleric threatens war. And he will lose again. This time he must be destroyed.
Zimbabwe: 'War zone' warning as leaders urged to confront Mugabe. Another one that must be destroyed!
Paras tread warily in Helmand province as they learn the skills of ‘going lethal’. I like this 'going lethal' thing.
Zimbabwean farmers swap troubles to fight drugs in Afghanistan. Great idea the Zim farmers can go to Afghanistan and the Taleban can go keep Mugabe company. Two problems solved in one go
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