Sensible Observations....part 2

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."--Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida , but they turned sixty and that's the law."--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself."--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan"--Whitney Brown

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"--Dave Barry

19) 'Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.'
--Unknown, presumed deceased

20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."--W. C. Fields

H/T Shelly