Tuesday, 8 April 2008
News.....
Olympic torch fiasco: Lord Coe blasts 'horrible Chinese thugs' who barged their way through London. An effing shambles.
Anger at 'shoot Arab' war game. It's practical training for what's to come if we don't take the whole Islamic War seriously.
House prices plunge 2.5% in biggest monthly fall since 1990s' crash. Here we go!
Gordon Brown hits new poll low as voters desert Labour for Tories. He will not last the year.
Foul-mouthed bully Mohamed Fayed should leave Britain and peddle his poison elsewhere. Boot the f**ker out.
Zimbabwe's white farmers in new land grabs. We MUST send in trops to get rid of Mugabe.
One in three troops hit by tax change. The only people who can save Britain are the military. We need a coup ASAP.
Iraqi Shia leader wants to disband Mahdi army. Disband or die. I think the term 'army' is a trifle optimistic.
Disabled soldier goes back to war in Afghanistan. Good man.
General Petraeus enters new battlefield as presidential rivals hijack ‘surge’ hearings. He will kick butt!
Zimbabwe court delays decision on poll results. And they will continue to delay until they manage to rig the result.
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500 Pound Bomb Hits Insurgent Sniper Hiding In A Mosque's Minaret - Iraq
How to take out a Sniper Marine Style......woooohoooo
Sensible Observations....part 1
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."--Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry
6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."--Bob Ettinger
7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
H/T Shelly
Monday, 7 April 2008
'Al-Qaeda Members Are Scum. It Is Permissible to Kill Them' : Sheik Ali Hatem.
Not sure he is totally on our side but what the hell. Wouldn't bet on his making it to Christmas!!
Suck on this Al-Fayed....you jumped up little arab a**hole.
Inquest: Diana Was Unlawfully Killed. I am not a big fan of lawsuits but The Princes should take the 'Posing Pharoah' for everything he has got. And get Harrods and T&A back under British ownership.
Soaring price of food 'leads to riots'
Story here. For too long the population of Britain, the EU and the US have had the luxury of cheap food. Subsidies have created the belief that food is cheap and 'grows on trees'. Well it doesn't. Tha average farm size in England is 57 hectares (140 acres) and the average farm income in 2006 was £20,600. The supermarkets must be made to pay the producers more for their produce. If the population want to continue to eat they had better get used to paying a fair price for their food. Everyone is complaining about price increases but they forget that last years grain harvest was poor due to a dry April and a very wet summer. This has nothing to do with global warming but just natural cycles in the weather.
This is a John Deere 6430 which is a general utility tractor which retails at £35,000 ex vat, and these days it is a 'little' tractor. If you want a combine harvester a half decent one starts at £150,000 and it only gets used for a couple of weeks a year at most. I am not even going to start on the cost of animal feeds, vet's bills and machinery.
I buy my veg from a neighbour for considerably less that supermarket prices and it tastes far better (albeit the produce isn't all uniformly the same size a'la Tesco) and my butcher Sergeants in Stowbridge has probably the best meat in Norfolk and he is cheaper than Tescos. I know that many people do not have these local resources but when possible please try to use your local supplier. Except the butcher in Wandsworth Bridge Road who charges for a Lamb Chop what I would pay for a whole leg.
Interview with Clive Cussler.....the best adventure writer of all time.
This interview is a couple of years old but worth a watch if you are a fan. Dirk Pitt kicks James Bond into a cocked hat. The only other fictional hero that comes close is Travis McGee. Neither have ever been put onto film as well as they deserve although Sahara is a pretty good film. If anyone has a spare $100 million dollars I would be more than happy to make a Dirk Pitt movie that puts him up there where he belongs.
Bloggers working themselves to death
Story here. You are telling me. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Luckily I have the team sending me stuff and without them it would be a lot harder. But I wouldn't give it up. It has been nearly 4 years since I started the old blog Theo Spark and I have loved nearly every minute of it. The hard thing is to try and keep it growing month on month. Maybe it is time to think about a dot-com but am not sure. What do you guys think?
Elderly logic.....
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We're sick of each other and "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Chicago and tell her too." and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on thephone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and screams at him, "You are NOT getting divorced!Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says, "They're both coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."
H/T Judy S
Harrier B00M
" VMA-311 "Tomcats" AV-8B Harriers attack the ground targets during OIF, March - April, 2003.
Blog of the Day....
Diminished Expectations. One of the saner blogs from California. They need to gets themselves a decent header!!
News.....
Who's Your Daddy? The Psychology of Most People's Voting. So true. Too many people do not know who they are voting for.
NATO men romp in Afghan brothels. Send them to the front line. It will do them some good and give our boys a rest!!
Stalin would be proud of this grotesque attack on faith schools. Ed Balls is a jumped up little wanker who should be ignored.
Man faces five years in jail after hitting a boy with... a hedgehog. Sod the teenager he probably asked for it. What about the poor bloody hedgehog!
'Margaret Thatcher would be voted Prime Minister if a general election was called today', claims poll. Dust off the handbag and bring her back.
Zimbabwe: Desperate Mugabe sends in his thugs to seize white farms. And still we do nothing. If Mugabe stays in power we may as well surrender to Islam because if we do not have the guts to take down Mugabe we don't stand a chance against Iran.
Schools 'recycling' incapable teachers. I wasn't aware that the NUT had any capable teachers amongst it ranks.
3 US troops killed, 31 wounded in Iraq by Iranian Terrorists. Actually that's not what it says but it bloody well should do.
Number of complaints against the NHS soars. Hardly surprising as it is as bad as ever.
Youth crime 'up by two thirds in 10 years'. National Service and Chain Gangs should solve this problem.
Max Mosley faces being driven out of office. Another autocrat whould thinks he is above the law. Kick him out.
US and Iraqi forces take the battle to Moqtada al-Sadr's doorstep. And all the way to Tehran!!
A bulletproof hoodie: The ultimate fashion item for Britain's lawless teenagers. Bet it won't stop .50 cal.
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Healthy Reasons to Drink Beer
By: Sylvia Booth Hubbard
Planning on using a few cool brews to help you chill out during the coming summer heat? You may be giving your health a boost as well. An entire decade of scientific research shows that drinking beer regularly, but moderately (a maximum of two 12 ounce glasses daily for men and one for women), can reduce some of the risks associated with aging. Risk-reducing benefits include:
• Heart attack – Like wine, beer’s more refined brother, beer also has positive effects on the heart. Studies show that beer raises HDL or good cholesterol, and men who drink alcohol can reduce their risk of having a heart attack by as much as 35 percent when compared to men who don’t drink.
• Stroke – Beer can hinder the prevention of artery-clogging blood clots, which are the most common cause of stroke.
• Diabetes – Beer may protect against developing type 2 diabetes and may also lower a diabetic’s risk of developing heart disease. (Note to diabetics: consult with your doctor.)
• Osteoporosis – Beer, due to its high silicone content, may help prevent bone loss and even help rebuild bones in younger men and women.
• Dementia – Studies have found that seniors who are moderate drinkers of alcohol, which includes beer, have a lowered risk of dementia. A report published by the American Heart Association found that women who drank moderately had higher cognitive function than those who drank heavily or didn’t drink at all.
So in the coming summer heat, raise a glass to your health. Salud!
H/T Nebraska Bob
Then there is also this reason.....
Garbage Island....part 1.
No I am not going all eco-loony. I do however hate litter and the whole throw away culture. Anyone who is familiar wth modern Britain will have noticed that rubbish is just dumped anywhere these days and it is a disgrace.
Two alligators were relaxing in the swamp talking.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, and we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em"
"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up into one of them Lexus and wait fer one to open the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg,shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem, you ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase!"
H/T 45 Govt
Sunday, 6 April 2008
'THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH'............................
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A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'
The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.'
The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.
His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?'
The Aussie said 'One!'
The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?'
'£ 124,237.64'
The manager choked and exclaimed '124,237.64 POUNDS!! What the hell did you sell him?'
'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki'.
The manager, incredulous, said 'You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'
'No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said.........
'Well, since your weekend's f*#ked, you might as well go fishing.'
H/T Electro Kevin
Bible Class......
LOT'S WIFE:
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'
GOOD SAMARITAN:
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?'
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'
HIGHER POWER:
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'
MOSES AND THE RED SEA :
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked.
'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'
H/T Shelly
Top Gear: Porsche Boxster vs Mercedes SLK55 AMG Driving through an Army firing range.
British Army get to shoot at Clarkypoos......
The Sunday Best.....
Police probe 'new KGB poison attack' as defector Gordievsky is found unconscious in Surrey home. Putin needs a bloody good smack!
Labour revolt after Brown scraps 10p starting tax. He has lost the plot. Don't expect him to last the year.
Revealed: How the Speaker has his own Commons credit card to entertain political friends. Boot the pig out.
Opposition lawyers stopped at gunpoint from applying for Zimbabwe's poll result. While Mugabe lives, Zimbabwe dies.
Boris Johnson: I'm the victim of dirty tricks in London Mayor race. Doh. Boris you are taking on Socialist Scum what do you expect.
British fear US commander is beating the drum for Iran strikes. We have to hit Iran. The Foreign Office and other 'British Officials' are gutless pricks who would betray this country at the drop of a hat.
Georgian furniture 'made from barn planks'. It takes a craftsman to create 'reproductions' that and a bloody idiots with too much money to buy them.
Coming soon: superfast internet. Oh goody.
Teachers’ leader Steve Sinnott dies but strike to go ahead. That's one way to improve British Education.
The REAL inconvenient truth: Zealotry over global warming could damage our Earth far more than climate change. As all sane people have been saying for ages.
Blogwise.....
Jules has a good selection of news that I have not covered.
Maggie's Farm have some good titbits.
This just in ...the staff at the mental facility treating John Hinckley reports intercepting the following letter from Bill Clinton
To: John Hinckley
From: Bill Clinton
Dear John,
Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a bilateral consensu s of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land.
Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.
Best wishes,
Bill Clinton
PS: Barack Obama is banging Jodie Foster
H/T Shelly
