Saturday, 2 February 2008
| What military aircraft are you? EA-6B Prowler You are an EA-6B. You are sinister, preferring not to get into confrontations, but extract revenge through mind games and technological interference. You also love to make noise and couldn't care less about pollution.
|
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
H/T Mark Scott
News.....
Banking giant blocks 160,000 customers' credit cards in crackdown on out-of-control debts. That is one way to start a total panic!
Al Qaeda use two Down's syndrome women to blow up 73 people in Baghdad markets. They are becoming desperate. They are also losing in Iraq.
The flying hotel Thunderbird 2: The 700ft super-airship that will gently float you around the world
Shadow chancellor George Osborne opts for private school for his children. And? He obviously wants the best for his kids.
Two million people 'not entitled to sickness benefit', says top government advisor. Bunch of work shy tossers.
Australia sells stealth knowhow to Beijing. Oh bloody marvellous!!
Burglars - here's your get out of jail free card. So householders had better start shooting the bastards!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
H/T Mark Scott
A Texan's opinion
T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland,TX, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
'If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's balls to a car's battery cables will save one Texas GI's life, then I have just three things to say,
'Red is positive'
'Black is negative'
'Make sure his balls are wet.'
H/Ts to everyone who sent this.
Friday, 1 February 2008
Theo's blogs of the month....
Maggie's Farm a great place to be on a cold winters night.
Jules Crittenden. The Critter always has the latest gen on everything of interest.
Jawa. Because Jawa'nt to be there.
Iain Dale. Britain's most commercial blogger. He used to have a great header!!!!
Neptunus Lex. It's Zoomie time. A Naval Aviator with a great altitude.
Coyote. Howling from the rafters.
Argghhh. Rocking and rolling as only they can do.
Five Feet of Fury. Proving Canucks can blog.
Protein Wisdom. Because we all need 'protein'.
The Englishman. Another farming type who hates where England is going.
The Remittance Man. An expat Englishman with an obsession with high explosives and totty.
and where would be without the lovely Lady Jane.
P51 pron.....
...just remember that the 'Caddy' came from an RAF order and the engine was the brilliant Merlin.
P J O'Rourkes latest missive.....
Letter to Our European Friends. Everything you need to know about our presidential campaign.
H/T Shelly
WTF.....I am getting sick of this crap.
‘Don’t teach children patriotism’
H/T Ed Haskell & Brown Coat One.
Hee hee....
Although, since some of you weren't paying attention when it first appeared, it'll be a *new* joke to you.
Two Arab terrorists are in the locker room taking a shower (well -- this *is* a joke) after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck betwixt his nether cheeks.
“If I do not offend your tender sensibilities," says the observer, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not remove it?"
“I regret that I cannot," laments the observed. "It is permanently emplaced within my sphincter."
"I do not understand," says the observer. "How came it to be there?"
The observed replies, "I shall endeavor to explain. I was walking along the riverbank and I tripped over a lamp of curious and ancient design. There was a puff of smoke and then a huge old man garbed in raiment of the flag of the Amriki with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."
I said, "No sh*t?"
Dedicated to the AQI-types hunkered down in Mosul.
P.S. Go take a nice stroll along the riverbank to settle your nerves...
H/T Mark Scott
Nice one...
Wizard pilot's 30 second rescue. A true hero.
The final escape for hero Jim. A sad loss.
H/T Liz B
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
So this is what goes on in the 'Cockpit'.......
Caution: This video may contain boobies which some poor souls may find disturbing.
I love Liveleak.
Slow news day.....
Lib Dem MP storms out of Commons debate calling minister an 'a***hole'. Possibly the only accurate statement in Parliament this year.
British soldiers accused of torturing and abusing Iraqi prisoners who were captured in firefight. Should have just shot them. Oh and why is this crap turning up in a British Court.
Ex-SAS in 'coup plot' vanishes from prison. The British Government should hold Mugabe personally responsible for his safety. If one hair on his head is harmed Mugabe gets an airstrike (from the US 'cos we don't have any bombers). Actually The Marxist Monkey Mugabe should be given a air strike for the hell of it.
Senior al-Qa'eda leader reported dead. That's another one off the list.
Havoc on deadline: the Great Tax Crash. Ah too bad!!
Papers show Ken Livingstone used public servants in vote battle. Crooked little s**t.
Iraq's revival boosted as oil production rises to 2.4m barrels a day. Nice of the media t notice.
Free health care cost 'not known'. The chickens are coming home to roost. ust wait for the student grants to go tits up.
1,332,040 views and counting.....
Hillary's Clintorious continues to ride high. Credit must go to Bob and Tom for creating the original sketch and to www34w for knocking up the video. Pity he didn't put his site address on the vid!!!!!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s homework assignment.
He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence ..*
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac’s, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol’ me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, “man, it look fake.” He say, “Bullshit, that watch israel”…..
9. Undermine - There’s a fine lookin’ ho who live in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol’ my uncle, iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My momma in law stopped by and I axed her, “You plan on stain for dinner?”
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, “how much?” she say “fortify.”
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.
H/T Mark Scott
Thursday, 31 January 2008
IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Anorexia: Polish Film Star
Artery: The Study of Paintings
Bacteria: Rear entrance to Cafeteria
Caesarean Section: Neighbourhood in Rome
Cauterize: Make eye contact with her
CATSCAN: Search for Kitty
Coma: Punctuation Mark
D&C: Where the U.S. Capitol is
Dilate: To live longer
Enema Not a friend
Fester: Quicker
Fibula: A small lie
Genital: Not a Jew
Hang Nail: Coat hook
Impotent: Distinguished - well known
Labour pain: Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff: Doctor's Cane
Morbid: A higher offer
NIT Rates: Cheaper than day rates
Outpatient: A patient who has fainted
Pap Smear: Paternity test
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Rectum: The end
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Tablet: A small table
Terminal illness: Getting sick at the Airport
Tumour: More than one
Urine: Opposite of 'you're out'
Varicose: Nearby
Vein: Conceited
H/T Liz B
.jpg)
The News with Liz B, Canis 61 and Nebraska Bob....
Shell's 'obscene' £13.9billion profit is biggest ever by British company. Not half as obscene as the amount of tax we British pay on our fuel.
The baby snatchers: Judge orders social workers to hand back newborn child taken from hospital at 4am. Who the f**k dothese people think they are!! Sack them. Better still shoot them.
Asylum in the USA for Lionheart? Don't blame him.
NOW YOU CAN'T EVEN HAVE CHOCOLATE SAUCE ON YOUR ICE CREAM (WELL IT'S HEALTH AND SAFETY,) Hee hee, you have to laugh!
After the invasion of the grey squirrel, here's their brown Asian cousin...not for long.
Families will pay £2,600 more tax a year by 2012 to finance Chancellor's spending plans. Like hell we will....Brown will be long gone by then.
Another faux pas for Prince Philip as he mistakes Oscar star Cate for a DVD technician. Brilliant. Nice one Phil my.
Muslim schools to conduct own inspections. WTF...I was under the impression that I was living in a Christian Country!
Britain to have '9.1m immigrants by 2030'. And a Mosque on every bloody street corner.
Online tribute to Winston's Little Army. Another bunch of heroes.
.jpg)
.jpg)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
