US and UK Diplomats Attacked In Zimbabwe. What are the Airborne doing this weekend? How would they like to go on Safari? Mugabe is going to push and if we do not push back with attitude he will steal the election and declare martial law. Millions will suffer because the West will once again fail to step in and every tin-pot dictator from North Korea to Venezuela will know that we are not ready to fight to protect the innocent.
Thursday, 5 June 2008
Old farming adage with a modern update......
COMMUNISM: If you have two cows, you give the two cows to the state, and the government will give you a little milk.
FASCISM: If you have two cows, you keep the cows and give the government the milk, then the government sells you the milk.
SOCIALISM: If you have two cows, the government takes one and gives it to someone else.
NAZISM: If you have two cows and happen to be a jew, the government kills you and takes the two cows.
CAPITALISM: If you have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull and increase production.
PERONISM: Argentina)Current version - If you have two cows, Nestor and Cristina Kischner take the milk and export it at a record high world commodity price, and then give the farmers whatever money is left over after the Kirschners pay off their political cronies and subsidize their urban poor political base. If the farmers can't cover their costs, too bad.
H/T Liz B who has recently returned from Argy Bargy Land.
Maggie's opening salvo.....
More Obama issues that the MSM ignores. He has had a free ride while he has been 'nailing' Hillary. Now it's open season.
Great 'headache' joke....
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'
'Perfect,' her husband said.'I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
SENIOR PRE-NUPTIAL
An elderly couple were about to get married.
She said: 'I want to keep my house.'
He said: 'That's fine with me.'
She said: 'I want to keep my Cadillac.'
He said: 'That's fine with me.'
She said: 'I want to have sex 6 times a week.'
He said: 'Put me down for Fridays.'
H/T Casasquirrels
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News....
Phone spies: Town halls using anti-terror powers to bug residents' calls and emails. The Stasi could learn from this lot.
Frail pensioner told she must drag her wheelie bin half a mile to get it emptied. Not a good day for councils. If they want to cut costs get rid of some desk jockeys and ban 'fact finding' trips to sunny locations.
The latest way to save on supermarket bills: Keep your own hens. Expect the cities to be overrun with abandoned chucks!!
Social worker sacked after Victoria Climbie scandal wins right to work with children again. Welcome to the farce that is social services.
North Sea oil 'will last for another half century'. Then go and get it.
Army chief General Sir Richard Dannatt in soldiers' pay row. I have an idea. Get the Army to patrol our streets and send the traffic wardens to Afghanistan.
Michelle, the asset to Barack Obama that may become a liability. This should be fun.
Morgan Tsvangirai released from police custody in Zimbabwe. I wouldn't bet on him 'surviving' the election camapign.
World War II US D-Day invasion tank unearthed in France. A reminder to those anti-US Frenchmen as to why they are free today.
Clinton to stand down and back Obama. Define 'back'!!
Knife-carrying youths face automatic prosecution as street violence spirals. Three weeks at Butlins is not going to deter them. Chain gangs will.
A Britain No Longer Great. Sad but true. Socialism has f**ked this country.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'
H/T Pete Hurrell
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Things you learn living in Texas....part 1
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. 'Jawl-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'dinner'. There is breakfast, lunch and supper.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
The Navy Invented Sex....
A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing over which was the superior service.
After a swig of beer the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'
Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.'
'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'
The sailor responds, 'Point taken.'
The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'
The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'
The argument continued until the sailor comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The Navy invented sex!'
The Marine replies, 'That is true, but it was the Marines who introduced it to women.'
H/T Shelly
Late news...
Zimbabwe crisis: White farming couple beaten and kicked off land. And nothing will be done about it. If a black farmer was beaten by some whites all hell would break loose.
Israel's Ehud Olmert: 'All possible means' must be used to stop nuclear Iran. At least Israel is taking the threat from Iran seriously.
Myanmar cyclone: Burma's junta turns away US aid ships. Time to target the Junta with sanctions aimed specifically at them. China must be persuaded to put pressure on them as well.
Headline of the Day....
Tourist bitten on penis by deadly brown snake. He shouldn't have provoked it!!
H/T Nebraska Bob
WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny......
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
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